Woven

Shush, please, please, everybody quiet.

Hey, Mom, how you doing?

Ever since Dad passed away,

you've raised us both like a mother and a father.

In honor of your birthday, I made a small home video

of the recording you made of Elenie and I growing up.

And Mom, you don't look a day older than 55 years old.

Love you, Mom.

Mom, what are you trying to say,

a woman can't be married and have a career too?

Is that what you're saying?

What is the point of owning a house

if you don't have anyone to live with?

So, Mom, I'm gonna marry a burger-loving,

pale American man and share my home with him.

Hey, here we go again.

Well, find me a burger-loving Ethiopian man.

Your father was a great man.

They don't make men like that anymore.

You are not going to sleep with his accent.

Oh, Mom.

Abell, you're leaving?

Honey, honey!

Feel like I'm drowning here.

Nah, you're not drowning,

just got a little water-logged.

Hey, talking about my weight?

No, I know I'm fat, but you can't do that. (SNORTING)

All right, sweetheart.

Lena, if you were married,

there would be more pleasurable way

to work out a sweat.

Mom, that is so disgusting, you know?

And could you please knock the door

when you come to my room next time?

There are no boundaries in this household.

Elenie,

Elenie!

No, not Yohance. Kiss me!

Mom, I grew up with him!

He's like my brother, and he saw me pee in my pants

when I was five, no.

You know, he works with his hand.

He's a surgeon.

Oh, no, yuck, that is not right, no!

You should date him 'cause you're single.

I'm gonna arrange it, it's settled.

Elenie Tariku.

Hi, Mrs. Tariku.

This is Officer Freedman with the NYPD.

(PEOPLE SOBBING AND YELLING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

You know,

it's funny.

When Abell and I were in college,

he used to irritate the hell out of me,

'cause it seemed like he had this fascination

with hammering nails in the most random places

to hang his pants.

So of course, I'd wake up and hit my head

on those things every morning.

When he moved out, he took all his nails with him.

This morning, I woke up having the urge

to start filling all the holes back with nails.

Then I realized I wouldn't have anyone to blame

for my clumsiness.

Your brother,

he didn't mind taking the blame for other people's faults.

If you ever need someone, call me.

Thank you, Yohance.

Charley, you hit Madison pretty hard.

She had to go and see a doctor, she was hurt by you.

I should apologize for him,

but I've never been very good at apologies.

I'm the dad, I'm Logan.

Think your mom let me in.

Oh, yeah, sorry about that,

my mother is helping me out today.

Come on in, I'm Elenie Tariku.

Hey, Logan Thompson.

Nice to meet you.

Charley, I need to speak to your father privately.

Do you mind waiting in the hallway?

He's gonna tell me what you say anyways.

Wipe that tone of voice off your face, bud.

Come on, come on.

I don't know what's been going on with him

these last few months.

Oh, he'll be fine.

You know, when kids move to a new school, a new environment,

they tend to act out.

My wife and I are from here.

We actually went to the same school, good old Larsen Hill,

except I was the one beatin' up on kids.

So where did you move from?

Troy, Michigan.

My wife got this great job opportunity at (MUMBLING),

and I got laid off.

Mr. Thompson, it is your right to refuse counseling,

but considering this is Charley's second outburst,

if he continues this way, the school will expel him.

You can call me Logan.

Your eyes are so expressive.

It's because they're big, isn't it? (LAUGHING)

No, they're beautiful.

Isn't it funny the things you were teased for as a child,

you always get complimented on as an adult, right?

Where are you from?

I mean, if you don't mind me asking.

I'm from Ethiopia, do you know where that is?

Of course you do, I'm sorry.

If I'm not mistaken, it's the birthplace of coffee?

Wow, I'm impressed.

You know, most people would jump straight to the famine

we had back in the '80s.

I got some good jokes.

No, I'm totally...

I'm kidding, that's ridiculous.

Anyways, I recommend Charley and I meet twice a week.

Doctor knows best.

I'm not a doctor, I'm just a counselor.

Six seconds, (MUMBLING) you ready for this?

He dribbles, he dribbles,

six, five, dribbling really quietly

because the neighbors are asleep.

All right, oh, he's makin' some fancy moves!

All right.

Two,

one.

Yes, and the crowd goes wild!

Yes!

So Kobe, how do you feel

about talkin' to a counselor?

It's whatever.

So are we gonna talk about this?

Well, I was looking forward

to having a long conversation...

Being serious, buddy.

You know, you don't have to tell her everything.

You just want to be careful, you know, for me,

for you, for us.