The Best Bar in America

Sanders: The road strips away bullshit

and shits baggage like a sinking ship.

And demands that you operate on its terms.

Not a place for the faint-hearted.

In the West there's said to be more than 11,000 bars, pubs,

taverns, roadhouses, saloons.

These places are filled with a variety

of pathetic drunks, posers, degenerates, whores,

assholes and thieves.

These places can also offer something

for just about everyone.

A place to forget your problems, not to mention...

the world.

This story is about finding that place.

I can't take this anymore.

Uh... Ugh!

I have had it with this piece of shit!

I'll fix it, calm down.

You can't fix it!

You can't fix it!

It'll take two seconds, calm down

Not this! Us!

You can't fix us!

God!

I'm so tired of this, I smell like exhaust.

I'm tired of everything, look at this.

I'm tired of you.

I'm tired of you.

F---.

And this didn't occur to you until just f---ing now?

F--- you!

Where you going?

I'm going home.

I would rather walk to Phoenix than spend another mile

on that piece of shit with you.

F--- you!

Well, Phoenix is that way!

F---!

Stupid.

Stupid!

Daria, can you not be you for one f---ing second?

Oh my God! F--- you!

F--- off.

So that's how it's gonna be?

So that's how you want it?

That's how I want it.

Hey, Daria.

Looks like you could use a cold one, friend.

Perfect, thanks.

How about a juniper-fired sirloin?

Even better.

Can I help you?

No offense.

Northway's the name.

Sanders.

What are you typing there?

Just trying to get a little work done.

Oh.

I'm sorry to hear that.

What kind of work they got you doing way out here?

I'm writing a book.

If you wouldn't mind, I'm quite busy.

I'll bet you're writing about that new space station

they just built up on the hill over there,

to talk to the extraterrestrials, right?

No.

The polygamists?

No.

Nuke testing?

No.

Well, geez, if it isn't any of those,

what the hell are you writing about?

I'm writing a guidebook on bars,

reviewing all the bars and taverns in the West.

All of them?

Well, damn, that sounds like fun.

Y'know, I come from a place where there's more great bars

than you can shake your dick at.

Yeah? And where would that be?

The headwaters up north.

Called the Golden Circle.

Matter of fact, I'm headed up that way right now.

So what are you gonna write about this one?

Mr. Northway, I just sat down, so I do not know.

Like I said, I got a lot of work I got to get finished.

Take a good look around you because this is a damn good one,

one of the best in the desert.

You see, son, it's your mind that creates the bar.

Not the other way around.

All right.

Who's the godless MFer

that drives that Nazi piece of junk out front?

Is that your motorcycle?

What about you, is that your bike?

That's him.

Right there.

What kind of a man leaves a beautiful woman

to die alone in the desert?

You gonna answer me, boy?

I said what kind of a man leaves a beautiful woman

to die alone in the desert?

One like me maybe.

What the F did you just say?

I said one like me maybe.

Say it louder, so everyone can hear you.

One like me maybe, and who the f--- are you, sir?

I'm the man that rescued her off the side of the highway,

after you abandoned her.

Then why don't you just mind your own business?

No, my business is other people's business.

You listen to me.

Do you believe in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,

who died on the cross for your sins!

What the f--- are you talking about?

Stand up.

Listen, listen, listen, it's complicated.

You seem like a fairly rational human being

and if you want to sit here and discuss theology I--

I was just gonna paralyze you a little bit,

now I'm gonna--

No, you're making a mistake.

You want to keep your head, let go of the man.

This ain't none of your business.

Looks to me like it ain't your business neither.

Glen, flip them steaks.

What's it gonna be, pal?

My finger's fixing to slip.

Nobody does any killing in my bar except me.

Now git!

Godless, self-disrespecting a-holes!

Well, friend, looks like time for you to decide

whether you're together or not.

Not.

How about that steak?

It's on the house.

You won't allow yourself to admit that you like it

because you're sorry that you didn't choose

a better life for yourself.

Oh...

Shit!

Hello.

Larry.

Yeah.

You're breaking up a little bit, Larry.

Larry.

Larry.

Breaking up, Larry.

A lot of veterans, when they get back,

they go on some kind of a journey.

They hit the road to sort things out.

You know, find peace within themselves.

They seek out solitude, they seek out silence.

They seek out beauty to provide some balance

to the ugliness they've seen.

They find something redemptive in the simple unfolding of days.

Everything all right?

Yeah, I could use a little push if you don't mind.

How fast were you ripping back there?

Just fast enough to outrun some of my demons.

Usually about 205.

F---!

How about that little gem?

I'd say fast enough to leave one of my demons

back on the highway yesterday.

How about that push?

Morning.

Good morning. You guys open?

Am now... What can I do for you?

Ah...

Can I get a coffee-- no, a whisky?

I can't serve booze for about another 15 minutes.

Make it a coffee then, please.

All I got is instant.

That sounds delicious.

So who owns this place?

Yours truly.

You do?

Well, my deadbeat husband owns part too.

Perfect.

Well, I'm writing a-- a book about bars and taverns

in the American West, a travel guidebook so...

I've never met a real writer before.

Well, I don't know if I'd call myself that, but--

You married?

But it looks like you are.

Mm.

You in a hurry?