JAG

CAG? Hawkeye.

No-fly violators closing on us with possible hostile intent.

Angels 18, vector 080.

08. We're on our way.

Two targets, CAG. 70 miles. Closed rate 1,200 knots.

Looks like MIG 21s.

- Do you have them on video? - Negative.

How do you know they're Fishbeds?

Educated guess, CAG. Target size is small

and previous Serb no-fly violators have been Fishbeds.

We don't guess in this man's Navy, Lieutenant Arutti.

No, sir! 50 miles. Phoenix are fire-and-forget.

You can shoot them anytime, CAG.

- Did I request a Phoenix? - No, sir.

- Stand it down. - But, sir!

Is your intercom malfunctioning, Lieutenant?

No, sir. Phoenix standing down.

- We're being painted! - I have ears.

20 miles! Picking them up on video. Two Fishbeds over the atolls, sir.

Combat spread. I'll take them both. Cover my six.

Roger that.

We're taking them on alone?

You have a problem with that, Lieutenant?

Nine miles! They've locked on!

You ever been in a knife fight, Arutti?

Missile inbound!

Where's the other bogie?

I lost him.

Bogie on your six, CAG.

How we doing, Lieutenant?

Lieutenant, are you with me?

To hell and back, sir. To hell and back.

Gear down and locked. Hook down.

135 on the glide path.

511, Tomcat and Ball.

Roger. Ball.

Tomcat! 112! You're a mile and a quarter.

Tow the Ball!

135 on glide path.

Tomcat, 112. Ball, 3.6.

Congratulations, sir!

- I take it the word is out. - You bet!

Chief, if I bagged a Klingon

I believe you'd know what flag to paint on her.

Klingons are easy, sir.

Now, a Romulan warship, that might be a problem. They're invisible.

- Yeah! - Tomcat!

Congratulations on busting your cherry.

I'm sorry, ma'am. It's just a term we use when you get your first kill.

I'm familiar with the term, Chief

and I suggest you come up with something

more appropriate for today's Navy.

Yes, ma'am.

Sir!

Sir, may I have a word with you before debriefing?

Do you want to know why I didn't use the Phoenix?

Yes, sir.

What's a Phoenix missile cost, Lieutenant?

A million dollars, sir.

You think a couple of camel jockeys are worth that kind of money?

- Serbs don't ride camels, sir. - They fly like they do.

Sir, that doesn't explain why we took them on alone.

I wanted to see if you had the guts for a knife fight.

And you don't.

That's not fair, sir.

Hell, I don't have to be fair, Lieutenant. I'm the CAG.

Buster to Bravo. Working party in the post office.

Way to smoke them, girl! Up close and personal!

I didn't smoke them, Painter. CAG did.

- Don't be giving the chauffeur credit! - Why not? He deserves it.

- Hey, hey Angela. Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?

You certainly don't seem like the person

who just made the cover of Time magazine.

Time? I thought it was Playboy.

- Mace, you're such a jerk. - See? That's more like it!

You know what, pard? I think the lady wet her panties up there.

Angela? No way, man. She's ice.

Yeah, ice melts when it gets hot.

50 miles. Phoenix are fire-and-forget. You can shoot them anytime, CAG.

Did I request a Phoenix? Stand it down.

But, sir!

Is your intercom malfunctioning, Lieutenant?

No, sir. Phoenix standing down.

- We're being painted! - I have ears.

20 miles! Picking them up on video. Two Fishbeds over the atolls, sir.

Combat spread. I'll take them both. Cover my six.

We're taking them on alone?

You have a problem with that, Lieutenant?

Nine miles!

You ever been in a knife fight, Arutti?

Missile inbound!

You've got it!

Come on, buddy! Come on!

Come on! You've got it!

Your turn, Ripper.

Come on, Rip.

Come on, Rip. Come on, man.

- Ready? - That's it, guy!

Come on, buddy! Press them, Rip! Let's go!

Try, man. Don't let her beat you! Don't let her! Come on, man!

- Try! Try! - I can't. Take it! Take it.

You disappoint me, pal!

That's the third bottle of Jack you owe me this cruise.

How many is that, Rip?

When are you gonna give up?

Never.

Cassie may be ripped, but she still squats

and no squatter's gonna out-press me.

- This one did. - It's gotta be a trick.

Maybe she wanted it more than you did, Rip.

She's on 'roids, Keeter.

No way! They'd show up in her flight physical.

That's right.

So, you're saying the flight surgeon's looking the other way.

The Navy'd do anything to make these squatters look good.

There are limits, Rip.

No, there's not.

- Hey. - Hey.

I just took Ripper for another bottle of Jack.

Why do you do it?

You know he's only going to get you more wave-offs.

The scuttlebutt says a TV reporter's coming

on the morning COD to interview you.

I don't want to be interviewed.

Everybody in Wheeling, West Virginia's gonna see you on the tube

including that jerk of an ex-boyfriend.

I don't care about him. My folks worry enough about me.

Let them interview CAG.

The press doesn't want to talk to the Ancient Mariner.

They want the female warrior who smoked two MIGs.

I didn't smoke them. The Ancient Mariner did.

Damn it, Angela!

I can't take credit for something I didn't do.

You didn't screw the pooch up there, did you?

- No. - What's the problem?

I don't...

I don't want to be a blurb on the evening news.

Until today, the only female aviators the press were talking to,

were getting their sixes grabbed at Tailhook.

We need blurbs like you.

- I wouldn't know what to say. - Oh, hell. That's easy.

So what's it like being a woman in combat?

It's the same as being a man in combat. Weren't you frightened?

- I didn't have time to be frightened, sir. - Damn near wet my pants.

- Wouldn't say that. - It's the truth.

- I was so scared up there, Cassie. - So?

Every time I make a night trap, my heart's in my throat.

Fear can be useful. It sharpens the senses.

It can give you an edge.

It gives me doubts.

Where are you going?

- I gotta get some air. - Just air?

Damn it, Angela!

320 on deck.

Coming up on the starboard side!

God! I need you tonight.

Fuel spill on deck. 922 is clear.

Move 184 to the 25, tie down, and clean it up.

Move 184 to the 25, tie down, and clean it up.

I'm gonna get her tomorrow, Keeter.

You're just gonna lose another bottle of Jack.

You wanna bet?

What?

Nothing.

No!

From the NBC Studios in Burbank,

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno!

Featuring Kevin Eu banks and The Tonight Show band.

And now, Jay Leno!

This just in, one of the Navy F-14 Tomcats shot down

a couple of Serbian MIGs over Bosnia this afternoon.

Listen to this, the radar intercept officer in the Tomcat was a woman!

Boy, you thought getting shot down by a woman in a bar was bad! My God!

You watching this, Teddy?

- Yes, sir. - If Admiral Drake were smart,

he'd make this RIO more famous than Amelia Earhart.

She's missing, sir.

Did anybody tell FDR?

Sir?

That Amelia Earhart was missing?

No, sir. She's not missing.

I guess she is missing, sir, but that's not who I'm referring to.

I meant Lieutenant Arutti.

Who's Lieutenant Arutti?

The female RIO that Jay Leno's talking about, sir.

She disappeared at sea last night.

Think we can lay this off on NIS?

Not after reading this, sir. It just came in from CINC-Med.

Damn!

Who's available?

Captain Morton is our senior officer in Naples, sir.

He can be on the Seahawk within the hour.

Yeah, and in a spitting contest with the ship's captain 10 minutes later.

No, I want a junior officer

so that the Seahawk's skipper isn't intimidated by the investigation.

You're sure you want to trust this to a junior officer, sir?

You wanna take it, Teddy?

I think my current duties would preclude an immediate departure, sir.

You have the survival instincts of a politician, Teddy.

Where's Lieutenant Rabb?