Roxy Hunter and the Mystery of the Moody Ghost

[MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING ON SCRATCHY RECORD]

Sir, I've come to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage.

Get off my property!

I'm not leaving until I see Estelle.

You're not coming into my home

and making demands! Get out now!

[BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING]

Mother, I was listening to that.

Oh, come on.

It's a little dated, don't you think, even for me.

Do you realize these are my last precious moments

to listen to NPR before I'm culturally "ostrichized"?

Sweetie, it's "ostracized."

Listen, you're gonna love Serenity Falls, I promise.

There's a lot to do there. It's a beautiful little town.

And how am I going to live without the opera,

MOMA, Broadway,

long walks in Central Park?

You could take me anywhere.

My heart will always belong to the Big Apple.

Roxy, we lived in New Jersey.

You've been to Manhattan twice.

Can't your parents do anything about this, Max,

to save us from being moved to Siberia?

I'm going to be a teenager soon,

so don't blame me if I end up a reclusive misfit.

You hang on there, little missy.

You're not gonna be a teenager

for another three-and-a-half years.

Looks like we have no choice but to get married now, Max.

All we have is each other.

According to the last census,

the population of Serenity Falls

and its surrounding area is 8,519.

Statistically speaking,

there's quite a number in our age group.

Well, that's good!

Does that include the cows, Max?

Whoa.

Wow!

Are you sure this is it?

32 Greenwood Lane. This is it.

The estate agent said it was nice,

but this is--

Awesome!

What do you think, Max? Wanna check it out?

Yeah.

I can't believe we get to live here!

- I can't believe it, either. - Certainly impressive.

Thank you for bringing us here, Mom.

So you think you're not gonna mind living here, then?

I'll manage.

Well, good.

[SINGING OPERATICALLY]

Oh, Max. What times we shall have here.

Can't you just see it?

Tea in the garden, lawn bowling,

croquet, and the dances!

Hey, why don't we have an "agnaugural" ball?

Inaugural. Oh!

- Are you okay? - Fantastic.

Hey, what's your problem?

Oh, I'm sorry, the ball slipped.

Is your brother going to cry?

He's not my brother. He's my fiancé.

And you'd better be sorry, 'cause he's a Duck Chin-chu Ninja.

- What? - He was raised with

the Woonah masters of Indonesia,

who taught him the secret art of Oriental brain-kicking.

He could snap your brain in two

with one secret kick, Like this.

That's baloney.

Okay, find out the hard way.

I dare you.

Is she making that up?

Maybe. What do you want?

You movin' in?

Whatever gave you that idea?

- How old are you? - 12.

Well, I'm 13. Remember that.

Traditionally, it follows.

I'm Seth. This is my 'hood.

That's Timmy and Tommy. They're twins.

Twins? No way!

I never would have guessed.

Does your mother dress you alike on purpose,

or did you choose that look yourselves?

You know, the Moody Mansion is haunted.

That's why nobody's lived there for years,

till you dweebs moved in.

The Moody Mansion?

Yeah, they say you can hear

ghosts moving around in there.

Good luck sleeping at night, losers.

Haunted?

Perfect.

Wow.

Maybe a murder happened here,

and now the ghost has returned from beyond the grave

to "wreath" its revenge.

Max, what if it mistakes us for the killer?

There's no empirical evidence

to support the belief in ghosts.

Hey, Max, look at the--

Max, listen!

The footsteps of the damned!

Okay, kids, I have some bad news

and I have some good news.

The bad news is that the furnace isn't working.

And the good news?

Well, I think I have a fun solution.

Wait, wait, don't help me.

- Russia? - Russia's not a continent.

Okay, then what's the sixth continent?

Australia.

Australia's an island.

How could it possibly be a continent, too?

It just is.

That's just plain selfish.

Should we revoke its status, honey?

I think it's only fair.

Okay, I'll get right on that for ya.

And, speaking of distant locations,

we're gonna call your mom and dad tomorrow night

and let them know you're all right.

They're not in Kazakhstan anymore.

They're not? Where are they?

Turkmenistan. They're trying to ship

the relics back to the university.

It's okay, though. They trust you.

Well, that's not the point, Max.

I know they'd love to hear from you.

I guess.

They would, trust me.

What's the seventh continent?

Oh, well, you'll have to find that out tomorrow.

What? You can't possibly be serious.

You're not gonna tell me?

However shall I sleep?

I feel your pain, babe, but you know the game.

Good night.

Completely unfair.

- How 'bout a clue? - It's an island, too.

Long Island? Rhode Island? Hawaii?

Good night, sweetie.

Ireland? Iceland. Iceland--no, Greenland.

Roxanne, good night.

Totally unfair.

Antarctica? Is that an island?

Max, is Antar--

- -

Mom?

Max.

Mom?

You awake?

- -

I'm telling you, it was a ghost!

Oh, honey, come on. There are no ghosts in the house.

Oh, really? Were you the one

too terrified to sleep all night?

Have you any idea what sleep "deprimation"

does to a child my age?

Okay, please, this is the last babysitter in the book.

I don't need a babysitter.

Max and I will be fine by ourselves, thank you very much.

Max has to study, and you're too young to be left alone.

So you're gonna leave me with some country pumpkin?

Country bumpkin.

Whatever. I'm perfectly capable of handling any situation.

- - Roxy!

Come on! You're driving me nutty.

Oh, no! Not you, Mrs. Slauson.

You are available. You're--oh, that's great!

Next month. Okay.

That--yep, I'll definitely call you then.

Thanks. Bye.

Max, the pancakes!

Oh, sorry!

Turn it off, turn it off! Is it off?

Don't burn yourself.

Oh, no!

No breakfast for you.

Who's that?

Okay, all right.

You keep fanning, honey.

Holy jeez!

- Susan? - Hi, yeah.

Welcome to Serenity Falls.

We don't have a Starbucks,

but Lenny's Coffee Shop does a much better job.

Thank you.

Who--who are you?

R-Rebecca? Rebecca Robson.

Oh, of course, the estate lawyer.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

You too, you too.