Gary and His Demons

I

Ow, oh my back

It's not again

Are you feeling old?

He's just an old man Debraht. Don't worry about him

I'm not a young man anymore. I'm old. I know that I see it in the mirror every day. I got eggs and paints

Fucking hair falling out of my head like some sort of goddamn witches curse. I'm a dog. Shit old man

Dog shit kids see me on the street and they scream

Thinking I've laid a curse on them and may haps I have

May haps I've cursed them with the knowledge of what's to come all I know is I can't turn back the clock

Of course there's one other thing I know and that's good coffee and this my friends is good coffee from the hills of Peru to your cup

Christ on the cross that's a good brew

Morning, dare have you seen my new mug yet? You see it says carpet coffee and then I'll get around to the deal

Isn't that such a scream?

Understand what that car fade you cease the day cease the coffee and then get around to that

It's a lot it's a long way to go right long way to go

Okay, anyway, I got a new case for you the victims of student at the local high school named Jesse Foltz

Apparently he overdosed on a new drug going around the school called D

Talmerito. It's got demon qualities written all over it

I gave it to some lab rats and they went crazy dog and then boom they went into a coma

So what you want me to go undercover like pretend I'm a teen and find the drugs because news flash guys

I'm a bit old for that a dog shit ass old man just like the ad says

What ad or I saw that ad the coffee from Peru. Yeah

Well regardless of this you know you are going undercover but in a special way

Marito has combined some shape-shifter serum with a little DNA from Jesse here. You're gonna be Jesse

Isn't it a blast? I guess it'll beep in me

Sorry, I don't know then just muttering a little cry for help. Let's do it

Mr. Foltz spoken back oh thanks. Yeah, that's me Jesse Jesse Foltz

So last class we spoke about Romeo and Juliet a play by

Curtis I know this I know this

Uh

William William. Yeah, William. Yes, William

Now for the easy part of the name

You were a goner Jesse. How you feel it? Oh better sort of damaged my voice a bit

But otherwise it's okay. Um Mr. Foltz can't tell us what's so interesting

No, I mean we're just like talking about the the play. Oh, you were talking about the play. Okay. Yeah

Yeah, and what exactly were you saying about the play where we say about the

Classic stuff you'd say you know

Good tight tight play sweet pretty sweet. Um a lot of fun stuff happens in it good tight play pretty sweet lots of

Fun stuff happens in it Mr. Foltz very insightful up. Should I write this down on the board or I see what you're doing here

You're like trying to humiliate me

humiliating yourself. Oh, you know what?

I think you're putting a lot of mustard on it maybe more than a teacher should be doing

I think you made the hot dog. Okay, okay, you know what you caught me. I haven't read the play joy hands

Joy-hands who hasn't read the play get them up get them up get them up. Oh look. Okay. That's everyone in the class except for her Janet

You're a sweetheart Janet. What's your favorite part about the play?

I didn't read it. Oh

Janet didn't read it come on

Janet didn't read it at the very least you have to read the literature

I don't know what to tell you maybe you got to look at this curriculum Mr. Foltz

I've had quite enough of your little show. Oh, I know I know I know you want me out. I'm gone

I didn't see the Leonardo DiCaprio movie out it was bad

Holy shit Jesse that was incredible. Oh, thanks. Yeah, yeah

You know I've always wanted to stand up to a teacher like that. They don't have any real power

You know what I mean is crazy?

If it isn't the new class clown. Oh, huh. Is that what you are Jesse? Oh my god. Are you a bully? Am I about to get bullied? Oh?

Okay, I'm ready. I'm actually ready now. Let's do it bully me

You know there's something different about you nerd, you know, it isn't just your weird scruffy voice

Well, I do feel like I've felt more confident since is this model?

I've you know, yes, I've fucked your mom pal

My mom's a saint you little shit. I'm gonna fucking break your face

Holy crap this body moves so good. Oh my nose

If I do not be broken for picture day nerd you're gonna pay for this you you'll all pay all you

You're gonna pay you're definitely gonna pay all you right on man

Well, we're gonna skip next class and go drink at my place. You want to come?

Well, I'm technically working. I mean, you know going to school to a school where it's so I should keep doing that

But you're only young once right or twice and if you get a second shot you shouldn't ruin it

Don't worry about it. Let's go get lit