I'm Reed Fish

Mwah.

Top of the morning to you, Maureen.

Top of the morning to you, Mud Meadows,

and, well, welcome to The Fish Show.

The time is now 8 o'clock and 30 seconds,

so that means, if you're one of those people

that has to be at work by 8:00,

it might be a good time to quit lollygagging,

get up, and get your butt out of the house... now.

Leos, your dream catchers have been working overtime.

And for those of you under the sign of Aquarius,

beware.

Unexpected events may cause your chakras

to fall out of alignment.

Chakras? Alignment?

Well, it sounds like it may be a very interesting clay

for all us Aquariuses.

Aquarians.

Aquarians.

And those are today's horoscopes.

Thank you, Maureen.

You are welcome.

And I am Reed Fish, and you're listening to The Fish Show,

the radio arm of Mud Meadows' double threat

news and information source, Mud Meadows Radio and Television.

And now for the news...

brought to you by our good friends

at Peterson Nursery Feed and Tackle,

who want to remind you

that their special on 50-pound bags of manure

ends Thursday.

Peterson Nursery Feed and Tackle,

your one-stop vegetation destination.

Now, civic boosters have raised concerns

about the height of the hedges around City Hall,

and I can't help but wonder

what our mayor has to say on the issue.

I have no comment on the hedge situation at this time.

Thank you.

Thank you, Your Excellency.

Well, We all know this is a hot topic.

Oh, and it looks like we've got some calls,

so let's go to the phones.

Uh, caller, you're on The Fish.

Reed, Patricia Rafferty.

These hedges are an outrage.

Someone should be fired.

Now, Patricia, i... I don't think there's any need for that,

necessarily, but thank you for your call.

Okay, caller, you're on The Fish.

Then, Reed, what's the solution on these hedges?

Well, I've always thought that the simple solution

would be to have our guy, Gary the gardener, take care of it

instead of bringing in that topiary specialist twice a year.

He's right about that.

Damn straight he is.

Not only would it save the city money in the long run,

but it would get those hedges back into compliance

with the shrubbery ordinance of 1957, which, of course,

states that all ornamental shrubbery at municipal buildings

must be a minimum of 18 inches

below any Windows.

Thank you for your call.

Next caller, you are on The Fish.

Caller, you're on The Fish.

You are on The Fish.

Thank you for your call.

So that just about does it for today's broadcast.

Don't forget to tune in Thursday to our TV show on channel 27,

where we'll be covering today's triumphant return of Zeke,

our world-famous prodigal zorse,

who has been overseas on a tour of South American petting zoos.

Wait a sec.

Frank Cortez has just handed me a late-breaking news bulletin.

Let's see here.

Oh, it's a Fish Show traffic alert.

Leonard Moore has a flat tire out on Baker Road,

so keep your eyes peeled,

and if you have a minute, stop and give Leonard a hand,

because with his bad back, he shouldn't be lifting any tires.

Well, Leonard Moore shouldn't be lifting anything.

Let's face it.

All right, we'll be back tomorrow here on your radio,

so with that, my friends,

have a marvelous day in the Meadows.

Great show, guys.

Thank you.

Maybe one of these clays, you'll actually show up on time.

Well, i... I just like waking up

to the sound of your sweet voice.

Yeah, well, if you'd come any later,

we would have had to put Frank on to read the news.

Hey, did you guys know that the human eye expands 45%

when looking at something pretty?

Interesting, isn't it?

Isn't that interesting?

Hey, so, Frankie, you know where I want the camera set up

for Zeke and everything, right?

Of course.

And I've got some of my own ideas

for some shots too.

All right, cool.

We can go over them when I get out there.

Cool.

Maureen.

See you at the Petersons'.

How are you, Leonard?

Oh, I've seen better days.

I'll bet.

We've got to make this quick.

You got to get ready for the zorch.

Oh, yeah, I know.

It's a very big story.

You know, you're beginning to look like your dad

more every day.

Oh, thanks, Leonard.

Fish.

Hey, Andrew.

Oh, hey, man.

I need to talk to you about something.

So I had this dream last night that Chuck Norris

was trying to teach me how to cook chicken piccata.

So I think I should come on The Fish and, like, analyze it.

I mean, I get the symbolism

that, like, Chuck Norris is the guy and all that,

but what about the piccata?

Uh...

You know what?

I think that answer has to come from Within, man,

to be perfectly honest.

Wow, that's so true, man.

Thank you.

Yeah, you got it.

You should totally buy that camera, by the way.

Hey, Reed Fish.

I was wondering if you were gonna notice me.

Jill.

Hi. Hey.

You're here.

I know. I'm here.

Dude, watch the merch.

Hey, sorry, man.

So you look great,

same as always. Thank you.

You've changed a lot, though.

I mean, you... you look really good.

I know. Guess I didn't look...

Dude, you're knocking over my career.

It's fine.

Sorry, man.

Sorry about that.

What are you doing here?

Uh, well, my mom wanted me to pick up some 40s of malt liquor

for us to have with lunch, so I figured, you know,

while I was here, I'd hang out with my cousin

for a few minutes.

What, your mom sent you to go get 40s?

Reed, have you completely lost your sense of humor

in the last four years?

Come on. Right.

Um, well, anyway, I got to go.

I have to go cover this story.

The zorse has returned.

Oh, great, okay.

Well, it's so good to see you.

Yeah, it was really good to see you too.

Do you want to come with me?

Hey, hey.

Oh, he's almost here.

All right, give me the apparatus.

Hey, Frankie.

Jill.

It's so good to see you.

It's good to see you too.

This is a surprise.

Yeah.

Don't you have a show to do or something?

Oh, yes, right. Of course.

I don't know; start with a medium shot.

And I'll zoom the zorse.

Okay.

Gosh, it's so cool that you're the new voice of Mud Meadows.

I mean, I practically grew up listening to your dad.

Mr. Fish, stop staring at her boobs.

We're working.

Dude, I'm not.

Shut up. What?

No, no, no, no, nothing that concerns you.

Anyway...

So, you know, while you're here, you should come on The Fish.

What?

No, you don't want me on your show.

What?

Local girl makes good.

People eat that stuff up.

But I haven't made good.

You went to college.

That is not making good.

It is in Mud Meadows.

Come on, it'll be a cakewalk.