Psych

THAT WAS YOUR TEACHER.

APPARENTLY, YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE IN CLASS

WHO DIDN'T TURN IN HIS ART ASSIGNMENT.

SO THERE'S GOING TO BE AN EMPTY SPACE

ON THE WALL AT OPEN HOUSE TONIGHT.

UH, ACTUALLY, DAD, I'M PRETTY SURE I DID FINISH IT.

IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE IT WAS STOLEN.

OH, SO SOMEBODY BREAKS INTO THE SCHOOL,

AND THE ONLY THING THEY STEAL IS YOUR PAINTING?

WHY'S THAT?

BECAUSE IT'S THE PERFECT CRIME.

SIT.

SHAWN, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT CRIME.

WE LEAVE IN 45 MINUTES.

MAKE SOMETHING PRETTY.

LASSIE, WOW.

IS YOUR HAIR STARTING ITS OWN CULT?

TRYING TO DO A PERFORMANCE REVIEW HERE, MR. SPENCER.

I THANK YOU NOT TO BOTHER US.

THAT SEEMS LIKE A STRANGE THING TO THANK ME FOR,

BUT YOU'RE WELCOME, OF COURSE.

AND NOW, AS A SHOW OF GRATITUDE,

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE ADVANCE ON OUR NEXT CASE?

YOU DO REALIZE YOU'RE NOT

AN ACTUAL EMPLOYEE OF THE POLICE DEPARTMENT?

DEFINE "ACTUAL," WAIT, DEFINE "POLICE," WAIT...

I'M NOT GIVING YOU AN ADVANCE ON A CASE THAT MAY

OR MAY NOT HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE.

OH, OH, OH, OH, OH...

PERHAPS I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T.

NO? WELL, LET'S BE HONEST.

IT'S NOT LIKE CRIME IS GOING TO SUDDENLY STOP, IS IT, GUS?

SEEMS VERY UNLIKELY.

- OUT. - SO THAT'S A NO ON THE ADVANCE.

PARDON ME FOR ASKING THE OBVIOUS QUESTION,

BUT HOW ARE YOU OUT OF MONEY?

YOU HAVE NO POSSESSIONS AND NO EXPENSES.

- THAT'S MOSTLY TRUE. - THAT'S COMPLETELY TRUE.

BUT GUS AND I ALSO HAVE A BIG SKI VACATION PLANNED.

SKI VACATION?

MR. SPENCER, IT'S THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO FIND SNOW AT THIS TIME OF YEAR?

ARE WE EVER GONNA START SKIING?

SOON AS I FINISH THIS HOT CHOCOLATE.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST THROW IT OUT?

I WOULD, BUT THIS HOT COCOA REPRESENTS

THE END OF OUR VACATION MONEY.

HOW ARE WE OUT OF CASH?

WE'VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOUR HOURS.

THE AMERICAN DOLLAR WAS NOT AS STRONG AS I ANTICIPATED, GUS.

WHICH IS WHY I HAD TO PUT THE WHOLE THING

ON A CREDIT CARD.

YOU DON'T HAVE A CREDIT CARD, SHAWN.

I SAID A CREDIT CARD, NOT MY CREDIT CARD.

IT'S YOUR CARD... THAT'S WHY I'M BEING SO AGGRESSIVE

ABOUT GETTING THE MONEY TO PAY YOU BACK.

HI, HI. - HELLO.

SEE THAT?

MAN, A MONTH AGO I WOULD'VE HAD US

STYLED UP WITH THOSE GIRLS TONIGHT.

- WHAT? - BUT I'M SPOKEN FOR NOW.

I HAVE ABIGAIL, AND SHE HAS ME.

YOU HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT HER THIS WHOLE TIME.

WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING ABIGAIL ON THIS TRIP?

GUS, YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND.

JUST BECAUSE I'VE ENTERED INTO SOME NEWFANGLED RELATIONSHIP

DOES NOT MEAN THAT OUR GUY TIME...

GOES BY THE WAYSIDE.

YOU KNOW, SHAWN, IF YOU'RE GONNA KEEP STARING AT GIRLS,

YOU CAN'T PREACH ABOUT HOW COMMITTED YOU ARE TO ABIGAIL.

ALL RIGHT, FIRST OF ALL,

THE PERSON I'M STARING AT IS A MAN.

HE'S HANDSOME... DIMPLES, BROODING EYEBROWS...

BUT A MAN NONETHELESS, AND I... KNOW THAT GUY.

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT GUY.

I THINK HE'S WEARING $10,000 SKIS.

ALL YOU OWN IS THAT HOT CHOCOLATE.

NO, I'VE SEEN THIS GUY BEFORE.

I JUST CAN'T PLACE WHERE.

WELL, I CAN PLAY TOO!

I NEED YOU TO LIKE ME.

HE ARRESTED ERNESTO RAMON CHAVEZ.

DUDE.

YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE IN LASSIE'S APARTMENT

AND WE SAW HIS WALL OF SUSPECTS?

YOU MEAN WHEN LASSITER KILLED THAT GUY?

HE DIDN'T KILL HIM. WE GOT HIM EXONERATED.

I GOT PUNCHED AND PISTOL-WHIPPED, REMEMBER?

I'M STILL NOT SURE HE DIDN'T KILL THAT GUY.

- LASSITER. - LASSIE.

WHAT DOES THE NAME PIERRE "DES-PER-EA-EUX"

MEAN TO YOU?

ARE YOU IN MY APARTMENT?

PLEASE. I HAVEN'T SNUCK INTO YOUR APARTMENT IN WEEKS.

WHICH REMINDS ME, WE'RE ALL OUT OF PEANUT BUTTER.

SPENCER, WHATEVER YOU'RE UP TO, JUST STOP, ALL RIGHT?

THERE'S NO NEED FOR A PSYCHIC WITH AN ART THIEF.

- HE'S AN ART THIEF? - NO WAY.

A DANGEROUS ART THIEF, RIGHT?

NEVER BEEN CAUGHT,

NEVER LEFT ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO BE ACCUSED.

LASSIE, JUST CUT TO THE CHASE... WHAT KIND OF REWARD

ARE WE LOOKING AT FOR CATCHING THIS GUY?

OR AN ADVANCE FOR CATCHING HIM.

OR A FINDER'S FEE.

BECAUSE I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT HIM.

NO, NO... YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING, ALL RIGHT?

YOU HAVE NO JURISDICTION UP THERE.

YOU HAVE NO JURISDICTION ANYWHERE, ESPECIALLY IN CANADA.

YOU'RE NOT THINKING THIS THING THROUGH.

YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT. WITH THE EXCHANGE RATES...

WE WON'T GET THE CHECK RIGHT AWAY, GUS.

- ASK ABOUT TAXES. - SPENCER.

YOU LISTEN TO ME. DESPEREAUX IS MINE.

I ABSOLUTELY FORBID YOU TO DO ANYTHING.

SORRY, LASSIE, TOO LATE.

IT'S TIME FOR US TO CATCH A THIEF.

SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

DO WE CALL THE AUTHORITIES?

WE MAKE SURE IT'S DESPEREAUX.

AND I HAVE AN INGENIOUS PLAN TO SMOKE HIM OUT.

- SOUNDS GOOD. - PIERRE!

- THAT WAS YOUR PLAN? - LET'S GO!

NO... AAH!

TURN, TURN, TURN!

I THINK WE SHOULD'VE TAKEN THAT SECOND SKI LESSON.

WE'RE DOING GREAT!

REMEMBER WHAT THE INSTRUCTOR SAID.

PIZZA SLICES TO SLOW DOWN.

FRENCH FRIES TO SPEED UP.

WE GOT HIM.

THERE'S ONLY ONE MOVE WE CAN'T FOLLOW.

WHAT'S THAT?

HE JUST MADE IT.

THE SLOW, GENTLE TURN?

THAT WAS IT.

PIZZA, PIZZA!

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, GUS.

- THAT WE SUCK AT SKIING? - NO.

IT MEANS THAT THIS HOT CHOCOLATE JUST BECAME A WRITE-OFF.

SO WHAT DID YOU SAY THIS FELLOW'S NAME WAS AGAIN?

PIERRE DESPEREAUX.

IT'S 11 "O" s, I BELIEVE.

PIERRE DESPEREAUX.

E-A-U-X. - OKAY.

THEFTS IN LONDON, BELGIUM, SWITZERLAND, SOUTH AFRICA.

HEY, WHERE'D YOU SAY YOU CAME ACROSS HIM AGAIN?

WELL, ULTIMATELY WE CORNERED HIM AT A RESORT

UP IN WHISTLER, BUT FIRST,

I SENSED HIS PRESENCE HERE IN YOUR COUNTRY.

I-I DON'T FOLLOW.

JUST ONE SECOND, PLEASE. OH...

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS, SHAWN?

HAVE A LITTLE FAITH, GUS.

I'VE DONE IT ONCE. I CAN DO IT AGAIN.

- WE ARE IN A FOREIGN LAND. - NOT REALLY.

WE WENT THROUGH IMMIGRATION.

WHY YOU GOTTA QUESTION EVERYTHING...

HERE'S THE THING, ROBERT.

THE THING IS THIS.

I AM A PSYCHIC.

WE WORK FOR THE SANTA BARBARA POLICE DEPARTMENT.

WE'VE SOLVED OVER 47 CASES.

I'M ALSO A PHARMACEUTICAL REP, IF THAT MEANS ANYTHING TO YOU.

YOU'VE SEEN THE MENTALIST, RIGHT?

- YES. - IT'S LIKE THAT.

- EXCEPT THAT GUY'S A FAKE. - RIGHT.

IF I WAS A FAKE PSYCHIC, IT WOULD BE EERILY SIMILAR.

- EXACTLY THE SAME. - A VIRTUAL CARBON COPY.

OKAY, WELL, NOW, MR. SPENCER,

YOU SEEM LIKE A NICE ENOUGH GUY, BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW

THAT THERE ARE MANY HERE AT THE R.C.M.P.

THAT WOULD BE A LITTLE MORE SKEPTICAL

OF THESE ALTERNATIVE METHODS

THAN YOU'RE PROBABLY USED TO IN THE STATES.

WHAT'S HE DOING?

HE'S HAVING A PSYCHIC EPISODE.

- IT'S A BIT OFF-PUTTING. - YOU GET USED TO IT.

HEY, BIKING TO WORK.

I LIKE IT. IT'S GREAT FOR THE ENVIRONMENT.

I LIVE A KILOMETER AWAY, BUT, UH, YEAH, ACTUALLY.

IT'S CLEANER.

HEY, YOU.

HOW'S THE LITTLE GUY? IS HE WALKING YET?

UM, BARELY. HE JUST TURNED ONE.

DO I KNOW YOU?

HELLO.

ROBERT, GIVE ME YOUR MITTS.

I'M SENSING THAT YOU HAVE A LOT OF REALLY GOOD IDEAS,

BUT THAT NOBODY AROUND HERE SEEMS TO WANT TO LISTEN.