Dead Tone

WELCOME, EVERYONE, TO NITE TALES.

I AM YOUR HOST, THE TIME KEEPER, FLAVOR FLAV.

HEY, GUYS, COME ON. COME ON.

IT’S RINGING, GUYS. BE QUIET.

HELLO? - HELLO, MA’AM.

IS THIS MRS. BLACKHEAD?

NO, THIS IS MRS. WHITEHEAD.

I’M SORRY. WRONG PIMPLE.

LET ME TRY.

NO TIME FOR AMATEURS.

I’LL SHOW YOU GUYS HOW TO DO A REAL PRANK CALL.

YEAH?

I HAVE YOUR CHILDREN WITH ME.

DO YOU WANT THEM TO LIVE?

I TOLD Y’ALL KIDS NOT TO DIAL THIS NUMBER AGAIN.

SO WHAT, RAT FACE?

THAT’S IT. YOU GUYS ARE IN TROUBLE.

I’M GONNA GO TELL DAD.

NO, YOU’RE NOT. - STOP IT, STEPHEN.

DON’T TOUCH ME. - MAKE ME.

SIT DOWN, BRACE FACE. - YEAH, WILLIAM.

I THINK SOMEONE’S COMING.

ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT. THEY’RE TAKEN CARE OF.

ARE YOU SURE? - YEAH.

WHAT? THE KIDS ARE ASLEEP. IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE ASKING ME?

YEAH.

HELLO?

- HELLO?

YOU KIDS LIKE PLAYING THEM GAMES ON THE PHONE?

IT WASN’T ME. IT WAS JUST A JOKE.

I NEVER PLAY THOSE STUPID GAMES.

WELL, I HAVE A FUNNY FOR YOU.

KNOCK, KNOCK.

WHO’S THERE?

OH, MY GOD!

NO!

MOM!

MOM?

MOM, GET UP. PLEASE, MOM, GET UP.

PLEASE, MOM.

PLEASE, MOM, GET UP.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

DAMN.

DON’T LOOK LIKE ROBBERY WAS THE MOTIVE.

RIGHT.

NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.

NO FINGERPRINTS. NO HAIR.

NOT A TRACE OF EVIDENCE EXCEPT FOR A BOOT PRINT.

THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN HERE.

HE DIDN’T JUST DISAPPEAR.

OR MAYBE WE LOOKING FOR A GHOST.

I’VE NEVER SEEN A GHOST WITH ONE BOOT.

FIND SOMETHING...

NOW.

YOU LITTLE SLUT BAG.

AH, HELLO.

AHH. OH, SHIT.

YOU WANNA GIVE ME SOME OF THAT?

YEAH, PUT IT BETWEEN YOUR TITS.

OH, SHIT, YEAH.

UM, YEAH. FUCK, YEAH.

FUCK.

CAN YOU TAKE A HINT, COCKSUCKER?

NO ONE’S FUCKING HOME.

HELLO?

OH, JESUS CHRIST. HELLO?

AHH. SO YOU KNOW ME.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHO IS THIS? - YOU ALREADY KNOW.

YEAH? WELL, REMIND ME, YOU DICK SMACK.

JESUS CHRIST, AND I CAN SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING.

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

I’M EVERYWHERE.

WHY ARE YOU WATCHING ME?

BECAUSE I LIKE TO WATCH THE PEOPLE I’M GOING TO KILL.

LEAVE ME ALONE. LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU FUCK.

I GOT A FUCKING GUN, BITCH.

SO DO I.

BUT I DON’T THINK I’LL USE IT TONIGHT,

BECAUSE I’M GOING TO GUT YOU, LIKE A PIG.

YOU’RE GETTING WARMER.

FUCK. - 75, BIATCH.

GET A LIFE, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.

WHO’S THE KING OF 75?

OH, THAT SHIT WAS TIGHT, SON.

WHEN YOU GONNA START PLAYING, MAN, SO I CAN TAKE YOUR MONEY?

I AIN’T NEVER PLAYING THAT GAME AGAIN, MAN.

HEY!

YOU DO NOT KNOW KARATE.

TRY ME.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.

YES. YES, YES.

SO, MARCUS, DO YOU ACCEPT ANY OTHER FORMS OF PAYMENT?

YOU KNOW I DO, BABY. JEFFERSONS, LINCOLNS.

YOU KNOW, YOU CAN PAY ME IN PESOS

JUST AS LONG AS YOU TELL ME WHERE I CAN SPEND THEM.

HOW ’BOUT I LET YOU TAKE ME OUT TO DINNER WITH IT?

HOW ’BOUT YOU DON’T?

WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS FLIRTING WITH ME, JODY?

YOU KNOW YOUR PARENTS WOULD FLIP IF THEY KNEW YOU LIKED A NEGRO.

MY PARENTS LOVE N-- - AH, AH, AH, AH.

YOU BETTER NOT. - MARCUS...

BESIDES, IF I GAVE YOU A PIECE OF THIS CHOCOLATE THUNDER,

STALKING ME,

HIDING BEHIND BUSHES, WATCHING ME.

GIRL, I’D HAVE TO TRANSFER SCHOOLS.

MM! HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

WHY I ALWAYS GOT TO COME LOOKING FOR YOU

WHEN YOU GOT MY MONEY?

COME ON, MAN, I ALMOST HAD THAT ONE, DAWG.

YEAH, BUT ALMOST ONLY COUNTS IN HORSESHOES--OH, YEAH,

AND LIKE THAT TIME WHEN YOU ALMOST GOT ROXY HERE PREGNANT.

FUCK YOU, MARCUS.

YOU ALWAYS GOT SOMETHING SMART TO SAY.

THIS IS TRUE, AND...

ARE YOU GONNA LET HIM TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?

COME ON, MAN, LET’S PLAY AGAIN, DOUBLE OR NOTHING.

I INVENTED THE GAME OF 75.

I NEVER LOSE,

SO PAY ME MY MONEY SO WE CAN GET THE PARTY BACK STARTED.

YOU DONE FIGURED OUT A WAY TO CHEAT, EH?

YEAH, SEE, YOU PROBABLY BE CALLING

ALL THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW AND SHIT.

THEM OL’ RANDOM-ASS NUMBERS SEEM REAL FAMILIAR TO YOU,

DON’T THEY? - YEP.

DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS EVERY NIGHT?

DID THE RULES OF THE GAME CHANGE?

NAH, BABY, THE RULES AIN’T CHANGED.

YOU CALL SOMEBODY.

YOU KEEP THEM ON THE PHONE FOR 75 SECONDS.

IF YOU DON’T, YOU LOSE.

AND YOU LOST.

- OH, UH-UH.

YOU KNOW, GOD DON’T LIKE UGLY.

WELL, HE MUST HATE YOUR MAMA. - OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU BETTER STOP TALKING ABOUT MY MAMA.

HEY, HOLD ON, BABY.

YOU HAVE BEEN TAKING THEM PILLS, RIGHT?

OOH, WAIT AND SEE THE NEXT TIME

YOU EVEN GET TO SMELL THIS, OKAY?

AH, GOD, I’M GETTING THERE. OH, F--

GOD, YOU’RE A LITTLE BITCH. MM!

THAT’S IT, YEAH.

OOH, GRAB MY BALLS.

YEAH.

OH, YOU’RE A DIRTY LITTLE GIRL, AREN’T YOU?

MM! YEAH, WORK IT. AH, YEAH.

THERE YOU GO. THAT’S A GIRL. MM-HMM.

OH, YOU DIRTY LITTLE SLUT.

YEAH. WHO’S YOUR DADDY, BITCH?

OH, YOU’RE NAUGHTY. MM-HMM.

OH, I’M ABOUT THERE. I’M ABOUT TO COME.

OH, I’M ABOUT TO COME. AH, JUST LIKE THAT.

YEAH, WHERE DO YOU WANT IT? YEAH.

OHH, BITCH.

AH, FUCK.

FUCK.

AH, SHIT.