The Ren & Stimpy Show

I think I'll watch some tube.

I'm surrounded by filthy, dirty,

stinky hairballs !

Oh, when Stimpy gets home,

oh, what I'm going to do to him !

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program

for this news flash !

Oh, boy, mayhem !

Top scientists have discovered that feline hairballs

are an excellent source of non-polluting fuel.

They're the perfect material

for manufacturing the space shuttle's heat shield.

They're a better source of material for clothing

than either cotton or wool !

They have more fiber than oat bran !

They even cure pinkeye !

The price of hairballs has been rising steadily,

and by the end of the week,

they are expected to be more valuable than gold !

They're wet !

They're vile !

They're stinky !

But I love them !

Ren ?

Stimpy !

Are you all right ?

Please, Stimpy, do wharf a mighty pile

of golden fleece upon my grateful crown.

( churning and rumbling )

Wharf !

At last, I can have those pectoral implants.

Mm-hmm, good texture.

Stimpy, snap it up !

Hmm.

Uh, hey, Ren--

Shut up and lick your other arm !

Hey, mister, get back on that line

and start wharfing !

But, Ren...

I need fuel to make hairballs

and I'm fresh out.

Ugh, I guess you can lick off my hair.

Come on, come on.

Get it over with.

That makes my flesh crawl.

Stop it !

You've rendered me hairless.

Now get to wharfing !

I guess you weren't hairy enough, Ren.

Uncle Ren got licked for nothing.

Hmm.

Bubba...

yes, uncle Ren ?

Extend to Stimpy your powerfully hairy arm.

Ugh.

Where are you going ?

Your plate's still full.

Now that feels purty.

Hey, buddy !

You think you're ready to wharf some hairballs ?