The Ren & Stimpy Show

( children singing Frere Jacques )

Knit one, purl two.

Knit three, pearl Bailey.

Hello ?

Chuck ? Why, you old dog !

I haven't seen you in forever.

What, you're on your way over ?

Great, catch you in a few, ciao !

That was my old fraternity brother, chuck.

He's coming by for a visit.

Won't that be nice ?

Coming by for a visit ?

Kee-ripes !

Lookie, Ren, I finished your cheerleader outfit.

Try it on.

I-- I-- I can't let chuck see me like this !

I'll get it, coming !

Oh, no, you don't.

Ta Da !

Start the party, chuckie boy's here.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh !

Hoek, you old dog !

Hey, buddy,

how about that old frat handshake ?

woo-hoo-hoo !

Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo !

Woo hoo hoo !

Hey, uh, Hoek...

you're gettin' kind of, uh... dandy in your old age.

Hey, it's a cat !

Let's get 'im !

Aww haw haw haw haw !

Aw, geez, did you see that cat run ?

Eh, uh, actually, that cat is Stimpy,

my roommate and best pal in the whole world.

Hmm, that really makes me want to puke !

Not only are you livin' the domesticated lifestyle,

but with a cat, no less.

And not much of a cat, at that.

I think you've lost your canine instinct.

It-- it's not true, I tell you.

Why, I'm just as much

of a mangy, flea-bitten, butt-Sniffing hound

as I ever was !

Oh, yeah ? Prove it !

Chase the cat.

Hmm, we better fix him up a bit first.

There. Now that's a cat.

You wait here for a few seconds,

then knock.

Got that, fur-butt ?

Yes, sir.

What are you ?

I-- I'm a dog.

What are you ?

I'm a dog.

What do you chase ?

Cats !

And what do you chase ?

Cats, cats, cats !

Who is it ?

It-- it's the cat.

Any vicious dogs in there ?

No, just us... mad dogs !

Aah !

I'm running out of buttocks up here.

Yeah, it's just like old times, eh, Hoek ?

What do you say you and me go out

and paint the town yellow ?

Yaah !

Man, what a day.

What else could go wrong ?

Here you go, pal, be my guest !

Thanks, pal.

Come on, man, hurry up, gimme your best shot !

Whoo !

I sure hope the boys are all right.

Ren, you're home !

oh, Ren, I was so worried about--

hey, it's that cat.

Yaah !

Hey, look at this.

It's our old college yearbook.

Those were the days, hey, Hoek ?

They sure were.

Hey, here's you, flyspeck.

"Ren is president of the flower arranging corps,

"captain of the underwater chess team,

and treasurer of the spelunker-ers' club."

Wow, what a winner.

Boy, Ren, you were a jenny-wine loser !

Ha ha ! Yeah, an authentic reject.

Hey, let's play a game. Ooh-Ooh-ooh-ooh !

What ?