Evan Almighty

And that's the news.

But before we sign off, we'd like to congratulate our very own Evan Baxter,

who has just been elected Buffalo's representative to Congress.

- And, now, we have a surprise for Evan. - No, you don't.

- We do. - Oh, no. I really didn't expect this.

Here's a look back at his run for office.

- What are we gonna do? Change the world!

That's right!

Baxter! Baxter! Baxter!

Hi.

Baxter! Baxter!

That's right!

I feel like that old Indian in front of all the garbage.

So, for the last time, this is Evan Baxter for Eyewitness News. Good night.

Huntsville, Virginia. Prestige Crest, four miles.

- What did we do before GPS? - Nothing.

Guys, Dad's very proud of his new car.

Hey, I am proud of my new car. Look, I'm a politician now.

I'm in the public eye, and as you know, when you are in the public eye,

image is everything, isn't it?

Here it is! Welcome to the good life.

Hey, guys, why the long faces? We're off on a new adventure!

It's just we're going to miss our friends.

You'll make new friends, better friends.

Yeah, richer friends.

Do not mouth off to me, sir. I am the boss of you.

And let me tell you something, you guys are gonna love this place.

And you know what? I think there's something for our fishermen up there.

Baxter family, this is what's called a scenic vista.

And I don't think the big man himself could do a better job. Pretty cool, huh?

Hey, Dad, an iguana can stay underwater

- for 28 minutes. - What's that?

- And a shrimp's heart is in its head. - Really?

Okay, someone's had enough Animal Planet for one lifetime.

Yeah, let's head out! Come on. The best is yet to come!

Gentlemen, I have saved the best for last.

Look over to the right. That is your new home.

That's our house?

I don't remember it being this big in the brochure.

Was it this big in the brochure?

Pretty amazing, isn't it?

There they are!

Is this curb appeal or what?

Here we go!

- Honey, I think you're blocking my photo. - Sorry.

All right, everybody! Say "escrow"!

- Escrow! - Escrow!

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Go. Go. Go.

Guys, easy.

This is our house?

Careful!

Honey, be careful! Watch it!

Are you kidding me?

- Mom, can we go upstairs? Yep.

- And I get my own room, right? - Yep.

Mr. Baxter, could you give us some direction on these kitchen cabinets?

Sure.

Okay, it's between your maple and your old-growth Brazilian cherry.

That is nice! Which is best?

Well, if you're not sensitive to that "save the rainforest" stuff,

you can't beat the Brazilian cherry.

It's 200,300 years old.

- Three hundred years. - Three hundred.

Wow. That is old.

And now you are going to hold my dishes.

- That's right. You going with the cherry? - Cheery cherry!

- Yeah. Definitely. - He's going with the cherry!

Dad, look! - No, no, no!

Ryan, do not touch him, please!

Oh, no, no, no, no, get him away!

No. He might have lice, fleas, maggots or something.

You do not play with stray dogs because they are very...

No, no! Get away, get away! Go!

Okay. Oh, no, no, no.

- He's thirsty. - No, no, no.

No, you don't! There we go.

Well, Ryan, he's a stray.

If we give him water, he's just going to come back.

Come on, Dad, why can't we keep him? I mean, we've got a new house.

Okay, Ryan, this is why we can't keep him.

They are stinky. They are smelly. They get hair all over the place.

They get a little thing called the mange.

In a nutshell, he is disgusting. Case in point.

Ladies and gentlemen, this concludes day one of the Baxters' new and exciting life.

I have to do the new house dance.

Wow! That dance?

- That's a good new house dance. - Thank you.

You know, those boys were having so much fun tonight,

I thought I would never get them to bed.

And then Ryan did the cutest thing. He asked if we could all pray together.

Really? What did you pray about?

He met a dog. What do you think he prayed for?

Just a walking petri dish, that dog.

And Jordan was very precise.

He prayed for good visibility, good weather on the hiking trip tomorrow.

The hiking trip? Oh, right. Yeah. The hiking trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You wanna know what I prayed for?

Yeah. What did you pray for?

I prayed we would become closer as a family.

Honey, you don't need to pray for that to happen. I will make that happen.

- What would you pray for? - Me? I don't know. Praying just...

Honey, you're the one who said you wanted to change the world.

It's a pretty big job.

If it were me, I would take all the help I could get.

Former Buffalo News anchor, Evan Baxter, takes office tomorrow

to make good on a lofty campaign promise.

- What are we going to do? Change the world!

Good luck, Congressman. Many have tried, many have failed.

- Hello! - This is Regina Sparks reporting for...

Hello, there. Hi.

This is Evan Baxter.

Just wanted to say thank you for everything.

Thank you for the new car and for the house.

The house is great. I love it.

I mean, I picked it out, but you created matter and everything, so...

I just wanted to say that I think Joan makes a good point,

and that I am now in a position of great power,

and I know that with great power comes great responsibility.

So, God,

Please help me change the world.

Okay. That's it. I'm hanging up now.

God bless... Well, you. Okay.

- What? That's weird. - What?

I set the alarm for 7:00.

I am successful. I am powerful. I am handsome.

I am happy, successful, powerful, handsome, happy.

All right, everyone, wish me luck. The Congressman has left the building.

All right, Baxter brood, I will see you later on this afternoon for the big hike. Yes?

You psyched? Are you ready? Yeah.

- Bye. See you. - Good luck, honey.

- Bye, guys! - See you later.

Later, gator.

Oh, gosh.

Wow. Honey, did you order anything?

"Alpha and Omega Hardware"?

Never heard of them. - Me either.

What do we have?

What is this stuff?

Must have the wrong address.

Yup. The wrong address.

Congressman Baxter. Good morning.

Good morning.

Good morning, Congressman Baxter. - Hello.

Good morning, Congressman Baxter. - Good morning.

Oh, this is so cool.

Yeah. This'll work.

There he is! The head honcho. The big kahuna.

Rita, I think I have to do the dance.

Do the dance.

That's enough of the dance.

Oh, this is nice! This is really nice!

This is too nice. There's something crooked going on.

Do you smell anthrax?

- Congressman! - Hey, Marty!

- Nice sound to that. - I like it.

Here they are!

All right.

You remember Sarah, Allen, Michael.

I don't think you know the new kid Eugene Tennanbaum. I found him at G.W.

Sort of a walking search engine. Watch this.

- How many stars on the flag in 1818? - 15.

And Congressman Baxter's coffee habits?

He likes a morning latte with a cruller, a decaf espresso after lunch,

served sans pastry of any kind.

Very impressive. A little freaky, but I like this kid.

I love you.

I mean, we should hang out socially. I just got a ping-pong table.

Not going to happen.

Go find out where his license plates are. Everybody else, back to your holes.

He was actually right. - I'm doing a background check on that kid.

Ta-da! This, my friend, is a power office, to remind you of the mission!

"Change the world!"

- Okay, Evan, who do you know? - What do you mean?

Oh, come on. Yesterday we're in the basement.

Today, look at this place. It's like the Emerald City!

"Enjoy your office. Your neighbor, Congressman Long."

Congressman Long did this? Did you say "neighbor"?

That's right. He lives in Prestige Crest, right up the street.

Evan, you got to tell me these things. Think of the publicity angle on this!

You and Congressman Long having a barbecue.

Congressman Long eating your hot dog.

Hate to break up your little weenie roast.

Congressman Long's assistant just dropped this off.

The Congressman would like for you

to junior cosponsor this bill that he's introducing.

Hold on. Congressman Long asked us to junior cosponsor his bill? What's the bill?

The Citizens' Integration of Public Lands Act.

Never heard of it. Gene, here, now.

- Rita, why didn't you tell me about this? - I just did.

You need to tell me about it before I need to know about it.

- Marty, you are not the vice congressman. - I am the legislative...

Nobody voted for you. If Evan gets shot in the head, you do not automatically...

If Evan got shot in the head, you're the first suspect.