Slow Horses

I should warn you, I'm armed!

I thought you were a burglar.

- I could've killed you. - No, you couldn't.

What the fuck is that?

It's a waterbed.

It must be like sleeping on a bouncy castle.

Have you been smoking in my room?

I did you a favor. You don't wanna smell what it's covering up.

You've been at my champagne.

No. That's sparkling water.

I was saving this.

For losing your virginity?

It'd be vintage by then.

Why are you here?

Checking to see if you're dead.

Anyone try and kill you or anything tonight?

No.

Pity.

Be nice to get this sorted one way or another.

You noticed anyone tailing you?

No.

Well, either you're getting worse or your colleagues are getting better.

Fuck me, that's a puzzler.

Look, how come I need protecting?

I'm not convinced you do, but, you know, due diligence and all.

You nearly getting run over,

broken CCTV, potential spotter, vehicle making a quick exit.

It's dodgy,

but none of it raises my spidey senses

as much as hearing a real-life woman is happy to spend time with you.

How'd you know about Tara?

Standish left me a message.

Now, I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but something's going on.

I don't get it.

We should have that put on a T-shirt for you.

I'll take the couch. The bed's a fucking nightmare.

What? Hang on.

How come you're going to sleep? I thought you were here to keep guard.

Christ, no. Whatever gave you that idea?

I'm here to make sure someone else is.

Give her a sword and a helmet.

She'd look like a brave little hobbit.

Right. Open the windows.

I'm off for a dump.

Fucking hell.

Evening, sunshine.

I am death!

Yeah. You mess with the best, then you're gonna get messed. Yeah.

Down! Down!

Go, go, go!

Sure wanted one of us dead.

Yeah.

You, you dumb prick!

You!

I didn't get him.

There were two others there.

They were expecting us.

It doesn't matter.

They'll have to report that he's under threat now. That's all we need.

What if he gives them the girlfriend's address?

Then they'll get a surprise.

Oh, shit.

Meet you at the rendezvous.

Aren't we gonna catch up with Shirley?

Do I look like I'm up for a foot chase?

The assassin's got a face full of bleach and a couple of broken bones.

Shirley'll bring him down and bring him in.

It was a case of mistaken identity.

Like I said, no one knows I live here.

Yeah, except your girlfriend.

I told you she got nothing to do with this.

You lost your keys recently?

Yeah, and she found them. Does that sound like she's guilty?

Yeah. She had 'em copied.

Why do you think that?

'Cause the assassin had a fucking key.

Switch your phone off so the Park can't trace you.

Go, go. Come on.

I'm sorry.

I failed.

I told you, all we need is for MI5 to look into him.

And you played your part.

So what now?

After Abbotsfield, we hit them again.

Bigger than the first time.

We need them to be confused and scared.

I need a hospital.

Rest.

We'll take care of you.

Ma'am, I've reviewed and updated the protocol for security at soft targets.

Squares, museums, tourist attractions.

Yep.

And I am reviewing your review.

This morning was a catastrophe.

We can't afford to repeat that.

Could be some lunatic out there being manipulated as we speak.

In the middle of election for mayor when people are already losing their minds.

But my improvements should give us extra defense.

I'm going home.

- You should get some rest. - I'm staying here.

No, well, I expect you to stay,

but you could put your feet up on one of the benches in the corridor.

Why are we here?

Well, you can't afford it and I would never come here,

so the Park won't find us.

The house red. A pint of Red Bull please.

I ordered the house red for you and a pint of Red Bull for me.

And I slipped him a 20.

Why?

So we could have any table we want.

So, how did you meet her?

Gravity.

What?

We're like the twin suns of Tatooine.

You got the same tattoos?

Tatooine. It's a twin-sun desert planet in Star Wars.

Rocket fuel.

Cheers.

Here, give him a tenner.

I already gave him a 20.

Yeah, that was idiot tax.

I want his pad and pen.

Sorry, sir. Can't smoke in here.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah. You're worried about my health, this fucking menu will kill me.

Look, 15 quid for porridge.

Here.

There you go.

Write down everything you know about her.

Who approached who,

what you've told her about yourself, what sort of things she's asked about.

Every detail is important.

Apart from that shit you were telling me just now.

I'm off to the bog. Quick fag.

- What the fuck are you doing here? - Someone shot up Ho's flat.

Really?

Lamb wants us to check out the address of Ho's girlfriend.

Us?

Us, as in…

Wait, how… How did Lamb know where I was?

He said you'd probably be working out on account of your issues,

- and this is your nearest free equipment. - Yeah.

Yeah, 'cause I'm the one with the issues.

Fuck, so Shirley was right then.

I thought she was losing her mind.

I get why you wouldn't believe her.

Yeah, well, she's not gonna see it like that.

If she's losing it, you're not the only one making bad judgments.

There's nothing wrong with my judgment.

Tiger team. Code September. Stansted.

Can we get this over with?

That's something I'm sure you've heard often from ladies at this time of night.

I'm here out of service to my country.

- And a little respect wouldn't go amiss. - You're here to serve yourself.

I can help you trace the weapon used in the Abbotsfield massacre.

It went missing from a consignment on display

at the security equipment arms fair in Docklands last month.

And you know this because?

In my post parliamentary life,

I find myself working in public relations.

You work for the arms company that lost the assault rifle

that killed 11 of our citizens?

Not work for. Advise.

And in return for coming forward,

I presume you want me to keep that company's name out of the press.

Well, their internal investigation hit a dead end,

but I can give you a list of the roving ordnance.

Provided you can guarantee my clients are protected

from any accusations of negligence

should one or more of their weapons turn out to be involved in this,

or any other unfortunate event.

They lost a crate of weapons.

How is that not negligent?

It went missing from a trade fair which brings in

a lot of revenue to this country.

I don't think you want to tarnish the industry over a stock taking error.

Publicly your client will be protected,

but privately I will pass on my reservations to the defense secretary.

Thank you. I can handle him.

Here's the list.

While I'm here, if you don't mind,

I'd like to raise some issues on behalf of other clients.

I do mind.

I have to get back to the Park.

The Zimbabweans would rather we close the books

on the supposed murder of a British journalist.

The Chechens would like some assets unfrozen.

And there's a Libyan conglomerate who would like compensation

for oil revenues lost due to the instability we unleashed

when we foolishly removed their charming leader.

And I would like you to leave my house.

Diana, I know you've been putting out feelers for work in the private sector…

There are bodies on the ground, Peter.

I am not going anywhere.

You've postponed your resignation three times.

There's never a good moment to go, but when you finally make the leap,

I can help you find an extremely soft landing.

So, do bear in mind those issues I raised.

I can find my own landing.

Where are we?