Neighbor

Thank you, Tom. This is Kip Wellington at Springfield Penitentiary,

where notorious inmate Shawn Gracey is still on the loose.

Gracey was apprehended three years ago

by the police for the murders of over 35 people

in a small suburban town.

Police and authorities are still working around the clock

to capture this notorious criminal.

We will be following the story, and I will be checking in as it-

No. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

Come on, Betsy! Betsy, please! Oh, no!

Betsy. Betsy, wake up.

Please...

You fucking asshole!

You just let her die?

Impressive wine cellar.

I was so surprised you made your own.

I've always wondered if this worked.

No.

No!

Please no. No. Stop.

You know, they say the doctor says

a glass of wine- it's good for the heart.

Well, what do you think, Betsy?

Be honest.

Speak.

Yeah. Yeah, kind of.

I did the rest of the 'shrooms last night.

Gave me messed-up dreams.

Because I was bored, and I had them.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

See you there.

There you go.

Thank you, dear.

No problem.

My little granddaughter's gonna love these.

I don't know why my son put them up so high in the first place.

Doesn't matter now anyway, does it?

You're right.

Are you okay?

These days, not so much.

What's wrong?

It's nothing to worry about.

I think my doctor has to adjust one of my pills.

Mrs. Spool, about your medicine...

What would I do without you?

I've been switching it out for quite a while now.

All of it.

What?

- Yeah. - Why?

I just wanted to see how long it would take.

Call 911.

Diabetes, high blood pressure,

congestive heart failure.

You know, you hung in there a lot longer than I thought.

Please...

Please...

Tell me, does it hurt?

Yes.

Well, that's a bummer.

I always get the same thing.

- It doesn't hurt to look. - That's what she said.

- That doesn't even apply. - It always applies.

I would like to apply your face to the bar.

You're so rough, Donna.

So how does the band sound on the new equipment?

Fucking fantastic.

Although I need you to come on over and help me with the wiring.

What's wrong with the wires?

It's gonna be my last hurrah.

Shut up, dude. You're not quitting.

Being in a band in high school was cool,

but it's different now.

Old man Mike.

That's who you are now.

You have responsibilities to the band.

I'm not being old, Sam.

I'm just telling- I'm being realistic.

What do you think, penis?

- Don! - You serious?

My Christ, will you just go talk to her?

Soon enough.

You've been staring at that girl for three freaking years, Don,

and in that time, you've said what?

I don't know. 17 words to her.

And you're just pissed off because I still got options.

You're the one that's getting hitched.

That's something I don't want to talk about.

Shut up.

Besides, he's trying to get back together with Liz.

- No, I am not. - You totally are.

Okay. A little.

You're both nuts.

Only in my dreams.

Stop obsessing, Debbie Gibson.

Yeah. Snagged.

Jenn, give me the hot wings, please.

I'll take the usual. I'm gonna empty the tank.

Can I get another orange juice?

- Sure. - Thanks.

Aw, man.

Yeah, I'll have a burger.

Say, Jenn,

Dickhead Don is having a party this weekend.

You son of a bitch.

Why don't you and Janet stop by?

We might be able to fit that into our schedules.

Awesome.

You're a fucking genius.

- What? - Nothing.

Everything come out okay?

Well, I'd love to stay for the happy ending,

- but I gotta get back to frigging work. - I hear that.

I told Elizabeth I'd help her out at the store.

- See you. - That's who you're tied to, pal.

I'll see you, Mike.

You're a pinky-finger marionette.

You're a loser.

Don't forget to come over tonight and help me out with the wiring, okay?

You got it.

Good day, Lizzie.

Nice of you to show up, bud.

Queen Elizabeth couldn't start without me?

It just wouldn't have been any fun.

Besides, you were the one that offered to help.

I didn't think you'd actually take me up on it.

Creep.

So you're really gonna move?

I really am.

You're gonna miss me and the guys.

Don, you knew I was planning

to move to Santa Monica before Mom's heart attack.

She's feeling better.

Yeah. We can just buy the place and let them retire in Florida.

Stop being such a goon.

I know.

I'm just saying.

We always fight.

You always start them.

Don't you realize how perfect things could be

if, you know, you just kind of did what I said?

Lived at my beck and call.

You are such a creep.

And besides, everybody knows you love Janet.

Come on. You know that's a goof.

No. You are.

Speaking of mature...

Oh, God.

Knock it off.

What are you doing?

I want that one.

Just one second.

Yeah. Speak.

Yes.

No. You're supposed to click out of that.

My mom just got a new Mac.

No, Mom, you're not supposed to be in System Preferences.

Just don't click on that.

I can't believe this.

Go help her.

Mom- Mom- Mom-

Mom, okay, look, I will come over to the house to help.

Just don't touch anything.

Okay.

They never listen.

Go and help your mom, Don.

We can finish this stuff in the morning.

You sure?

Unless there's any more literature you'd like to swipe from me today.

No, actually, you can take this back.

Hey, you still having that thing on Friday?

Yeah, of course.

You should come.

I'll see you in the morning.

I promise.

Do you gotta chew like that?

I mean, do you have to chew like that?

It doesn't ring, dick slap. It just flashes a light.

By the way, how'd you guys get in here?

Back door was open.

Okay, I gotta head to Doc's.

So where is the old coot anyway?

Didn't ask.

What is that smell?

Sorry. I farted.

No, not that one. The other one.

Doc Bates- he's semiretired.

He's got sort of a dental office set up downstairs.

He has nitrous.

Don't even think about going close to that entrance.

Party pooper.

Let's go, guys.

You think S. W.A. T. was a better show than The A-Team?

Cute doggy.

Thank you.

She really loves that dog?

Yeah, she does. She'd love one of her own,

but I just don't have the time.

That's not yours?

No. It's Laurie's. We're neighbors.