The Groove Tube

Well now! Hi again, everybody!

Time to play that great radio...

Hiya, boys and girls!

How are you today?

It's me. I'm Koko the Clown!

And we're ready for a really big show today! Right?

And I hope you're feelin' real happy.

And if you're not feelin' happy, and you're feelin' a little bit blue...

I have a song just for you!

So, sing along with me, boys and girls!

Let's go!

Oh, boys and girls,

I hope you enjoyed singin' that song as much as I did!

And after a workout like that, Koko feels real tired. Whew!

And you know what I need for quick energy, don't you boys and girls?

That's right! I need my milk!

Oh, boys and girls, if you're ever real tired

and you need quick energy too,

you oughta drink all your milk too

'cause that's very important...

Boys and girls, do you hear something?

Oooh! It's the magic monkey!

Hiya, magic monkey!

Oh? You know what the magic monkey says, boys and girls?

It's make-believe time!

That's right! And you know what that means...

All of the big people in the room have to leave.

That's right, they can't take part in make-believe time...

only the little people!

So, if you're over 10 years old we want you to leave the room

so that the little people can take part in make-believe time.

Now, we're gonna play the music for make-believe time

and by the time that music is over

I only want the little people in the room, all right?

Okay. Play the music, Mr. Musicman.

There it is now! Okay, are all the big people leaving the room?

Oh, there goes David's parents... goodbye!

Oh, there goes Marylou's parents... okay, bye!

Okay, that's the end of the music.

Are all the little people here for make-believe time?

All of the big people are out of the room?

Okay...

Okay.

Now, I have a... request here from...

Vickie Ulanet, of... Fort Wayne.

She asks for page 47 of Fanny Hill by John Cleland.

"I laid down then upon the couch, and Charles finished undressing himself,

"...revealing to my eyes that column of delight

"...whose impatient gestures signaled the prelude to love's ecstatic union.

"Urged on by consuming passion, we were quickly joined in soft embrace,

"...his hands exploring the fiery moist territory whence derived my intoxicating pleasures.

"Most readily I obeyed my love's soft-spoken command

"...to alter my recumbent position that he might gain swift entrance.

"But how can I describe the overwhelming bliss which swept through me

"...as the delicious velvet tip divided the gates of pleasure

"...and the ivory shaft insinuated itself to it's furthest penetration,

"...only to withdraw and plunge, again and again.

"Thoroughly inundated by the tides of pleasure which

"...flowed forth from these violent actions,

yielded up the last vestiges of resistance

"...giving myself entirely to the rapturous rhythm

"...which carried us all too quickly over love's crest,

"...and left us exhausted and joyous upon the shore."

Well... that was an excellent request, Vickie,

hope you enjoyed it.

Now we have another request here, from Kippy Pratt

of Springfield, and he asks for

page 43 of Philosophy in the Bedroom, by Marquis de Sade.

Oh, uh... I see we're running a little late, and I...

Uh... I'll get to this tomorrow, but I do wanna make a special announcement.

Uh... uh, it seems a boy from Newton

let his parents stay in the room during make-believe time,

or at least it was his mother, because she called the station,

and it's a good thing the management doesn't watch the show

'cause they thought it was a crank call.

But I'm only mentioning this to tell you that

really, it's very important that you make sure

the big people leave the room during make-believe time,

because, if you don't do that

the management will catch onto what we're doing, and uh...

we'll have to go off the air and I won't be able to take your requests and so on...

so really, please, it's very important

make sure the big people, uh, leave the room during make-believe time, okay?

Now, as I said, we'll get to this tomorrow when we'll have more time,

we'll get to the end of the show now, you can call the big people back in the room.

Jerry, you wanna hit the music?

Well, boys and girls! It looks like that's the end of our show!

Hope you enjoyed it, and I'll see you again tomorrow!

And don't forget, boys and girls, to brush your teeth.

That's very important!

Bye-bye. boys and girls! Bye!

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Welcome to the Kramp TV Kitchen.

Tonight we are featuring a festive holiday dish,

which is a traditional favorite in Newark,

and sure to delight your entire family,

Fourth of July Heritage Loaf.

Begin by coating the inside of a large, shallow casserole dish

with Kramp Easy Lube brand vegetable shortening,

and place in your refrigerator to cool.

While the first casserole dish is cooling,

take a similar casserole dish,

coat it with Kramp Easy Lube brand vegetable shortening,

and place it in an oven which has been preheated to 350 degrees.

Next, peel and core a large Rome apple.

Insert the peel into the hollow center

and coat the entire apple

with Kramp Easy Lube brand vegetable shortening.

Now, roll the apple in a half-and-half mixture

of sifted flour and bread crumbs, and set aside.

Spread a half-cup of leftover mashed potatoes

on the palm of your right hand.

Place an onion in the center and clench your hand into a fist

while moving your fingers from side to side

to coat the onion evenly.

Dip your hand in a bowl of ice water

and open it quickly so that the onion floats to the top.

Now, bring out the casserole that was cooling in the refrigerator

and into it, drain off the water.

Set the onion aside.

Return the casserole to the refrigerator to cool.

Take the apple which we cored earlier,

and cut it in half.

Remove the apple peel from the core,

and fasten it with toothpicks around the outside of the apple.

Cover with Kramp Easy Lube brand vegetable shortening

and set aside.

Pit a half-dozen black olives,

and a half-dozen bing cherries.

Insert the olive pits into the pitted cherries.

Then, insert the cherries, into which we have just inserted the olive pits,

into the pitted olives.

Remove the cool casserole from the refrigerator,

and into it place the stuffed olives.

Return the casserole to the refrigerator, once again, to cool.

Take the apple we prepared earlier,

and discard the peel.

Place the apple in the casserole which is now in the refrigerator.

Next, bring out the casserole which was originally in the oven,

and is now in the oven,

and place it on the table.

Coat your hands with Kramp Easy Lube brand vegetable shortening

and knead the contents of each, at the same time.

Pour equal amounts of each casserole into two 8-inch bread pans

and let stand overnight.

And now, here is our finished Fourth of July Heritage Loaf

which we prepared last night in our Kramp TV Kitchen

and is now ready for the table.