The A Word

The older he gets, the more distressing it is for him

to be in a world that he doesn't understand.

It's real distress, Paul. Real pain.

It is ridiculous that you're avoiding me like some teenage boy.

I don't want to lose a friend because he can't satisfy my sexual needs.

- Keys. - Keys? - You start in a week.

I know what it's like growing up round here.

Having sex seems like a good way to pass the time until you leave.

Hello? Rebecca?

Just be sure that's what YOU want.

They just need a plan.

There's a brilliant speech and language therapist

who I'm going to refer them to.

- What's with the sign? - It's for the best.

Do I not even get a say in this?

It doesn't matter to you if it's the right decision

as long as it's your decision.

Hey, Mozart!

Where've you been?

Hey? I missed you.

I'll be in a bit late this morning, lads. We've got a family thing.

OK. You still playing nice with Eddie, are you?

You talking to my guys?

I hope you're not trying to get back in with them

now you've put the restaurant on the market.

What's that got to do with you?

I think the rebranding should be more radical.

Take a leaf out of BrewDog's book.

Hey, that's my speech therapy notebook.

I don't want your scribble on it.

I'm not sure it's the notebook kind of therapy, Dad.

Well, if there's role-play consider me gone.

I don't think she's that kind of therapist, is she, Nicola?

I don't know.

But, I mean, she's the best, right?

I don't think there's a league table,

but I hear she does good work

with families of children on the spectrum.

"Children on the spectrum". Is that what we say nowadays?

Sounds like a charity single.

Let's just all try and, you know, be ourselves.

Are you sure that's wise?

My God!

One last chance to tell me I'm adopted.

Come here.

Joe!

Come on, Joe.

My God. Margaret?

Margaret White? It's me.

I.. was... Alison Scott? Do you remember?

Yes, I remember. Hello, Alison.

- I prefer Maggie, by the way. - Sure, sure.

Goodness, what a surprise.

- How long's it been? - 16 years.

Have you not been back since you left school, really?

Never been back until now.

Wow! Well, come in!

Sorry, come in.

Just through here.

Dad, do you remember Margaret White?

Maggie. Sorry, it's Maggie.

Is this part of the test, or can I be honest?

Don't worry. It's not a test.

None of this is a test.

Right, well, shall I make some coffee? Have you eaten?

Do you want...?

That's Joe. This is Joe.

Where you staying? How was your journey?

Hello, Joe.

Is that a table tennis table?

Shall we have a game?

No, no, let me...

Maurice.

Come on, Maurice, this way.

This is my bat. I can tell by the handle.

- Come on. - I'm thinking if online sales take off,

- we might want to convert one of the outbuildings. - Yeah.

Topspin!

Would one of you two find another clamp for this net

and stop showing off?

All right?

Alison! Get a move on.

How long does it take to brew up? Come on, everybody's waiting!

That's Margaret White!

- Right? - The Cookie Monster!

We hated each other at school.

She used to cry if she didn't come top of the class.

She used to steamroller over me in netball.

Well, this is table tennis, so I think you'll be OK.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, come on.

OK. OK.

- Let! - Did it touch the net?

I don't want to label him at such a young age.

Why not?

I just worry that people will treat him differently.

And why would that be so bad?

I just don't want it to be public knowledge.

We need to talk about that.

Fine, but it's not up for negotiation.

- Beautiful. - Great shot! One-nil.

- Come on. - OK.

Thank you, Joe.

Well done! You clever boy.

Have a game. Come on.

Try not to tell him "well done" all the time.

A lot of this isn't about getting it right or praising him.

It's about building up a back and forth.

- Does that make sense? - I've set up a Twitter feed for the brewery.

- A what? - Get walking, Maurice.

You did that on purpose!

Hey, hey, come on. Let's let Joe have a go, shall we?

Come on. You ready? So...

- Here we go, then. Ready? - Yeah, that's it.

Just a slow one, Eddie.

A slow one. Try not to overcompensate.

He's just a kid, all right? You ready?

So, grab that. Come on.

Come on. Hey, hey, hey. Come here. Look at me. Come on. Hey, hey, hey.

- Come here, come here. Listen, listen, listen. - I don't think so.

OK, then. Are we ready?

Hold that.

Here it comes.

Yeah! We did it! Yeah!

My boy!!

Lad! Lad! Wahey!

Right, come on, then.

Come on. Another one? Here.

All communication is an exchange.

It's like table tennis.

Look at us all sitting here, all feeling self-conscious.

This is unnatural.

Hey, it is in this family. Nobody interrupted you.

By the time we're Joe's age,

most of our communication is automatic, unthinking, spontaneous.

Funny, even.

Hey, were I here for that day, Maurice?

So there we are.

Ping. Maurice makes a joke

to mask the fact that he's feeling uncomfortable.

Pong. Paul returns the serve, but can't help revealing

his own insecurity by making a joke at Maurice's expense.

Well, as long as you don't ask me why I'm uncomfortable,

I think I can go along with this.

I don't need to. Why wouldn't you feel uncomfortable?

You don't know what's going to happen next.

You don't know what this lunatic woman's going to say.

That's how Joe feels all the time.

Under pressure every time anybody asks him anything,

unless it's about his music, food, or his walks.

He's a kid who can't make himself heard in a family of loudmouths.

I know that feeling.

I'm not sure you can start equating your position with Joe's.

Really? You didn't grow up with this crowd.

Give it six months and you'll know what I am getting at.

I know what you're getting at. I just don't agree.

This unresolved tension here.

It doesn't matter what it's about.

What matters is that they're playing it out by arguing about Joe.

Joe becomes the lightning rod for family tension.

This in turn informs your dealings with him.

You communicate that anxiety whether you mean to or not.

No wonder he wears headphones.

He wears headphones because...

He wears headphones because he loves music.

Of course he loves music. Music doesn't answer back.

Music keeps the world at arm's length,

calms him down when he feels distressed.

Well, we're always talking about music together.

If that's not social, then I don't know what is.

It's lovely that you have music,

but it isn't communication.

For Joe, it's self-preservation.

Paul folds his arms defensively

because he's worried about what I'll be saying next.

I think we're all worried.

Paul sends another return on the back of defensive humour.

I had no idea my game was so predictable.

Are you going to be giving us a booklet at the end of this

or something? Because I'm more of a "read the instructions" type.

No.

Rebecca, meanwhile, obsessively checks her phone

in the hope that'll take her out of here.

She doesn't want to be here.

And I don't blame her.

I'll be late for rehearsals. I'm doing the school play.

Yeah, Antigone . I noticed.

What was our school play, Maggie?

I don't remember.

Would you mind, Maggie?

Of course not. If that's OK with your mum,

we can talk some other time.

I know this is tough,

but you hired me to help Joe.

I'm not sure this is helping.

You need to come up with strategies

in which Joe becomes part of the game.

But at the moment, the communication in his family,

spoken, unspoken -

it's not stuff you even see yourself, so imagine being Joe.