Sick Puppy

Hi, hi.

Shh, it's OK.

It's OK.

Good girl.

You're OK.

Shh, good girl.

It's a good girl.

Yeah, come here.

Good job.

Good job.

Aww.

- You're always so good with the mean ones, Charlie.

She's not mean.

She just needs a little love.

- I can sense when you're a good person.

All right, get the gas.

Yeah, put that in the pile with the others for the crematorium.

Oh, and happy anniversary.

Thanks.

When we were young, it was like a fairy tale

I was the lucky one

You were my Holy Grail

But fairy tales have a monster, a beast you cannot flee

Oh, oh, I try to be your protector

But turns out the monster was me

Your burning love sets my heart on fire

Does it burn up

Help!

Please, help me!

Anybody!

Help!

Please, please, please, help me.

Help me, please!

Help me, please!

Somebody!

Help!

Help me, please!

Please, help me!

Please!

Please, help me.

Please, let me out of here.

Please, please, please, help me.

Please, just let me out.

Just let me out, please.

Help, help.

Please, please, please, let me--

please, please, please, please, let me out.

Please, please, please, help me.

Please, I can hear the music upstairs.

Are you having a party?

Please, you got to get me out of here.

- How'd you get the lock off the muzzle?

- Uh, he-- he didn't do it tight enough.

Oh.

Please, help me.

Go ahead.

You must be hungry.

You gotta get me out of here.

Mmm, mmm.

- You think it's got enough vanilla?

What?

- Do you think it needs more vanilla?

No, it's good.

Good.

Well, you better put that on before he gets home.

- No, you gotta get me out of here.

You have to help me.

I am.

If he finds out what you did, I think--

I think you and I both know what he'll do.

Come on.

He'll be home soon, you know.

And no more trouble tonight, OK?

It's my anniversary.

Happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary, baby bird.

Mmm, mmm.

You really outdid yourself this time, Charlie.

I don't think I could eat another bite.

Well, you better.

There's dessert, too.

I made your favorite, white cake with cherry sauce.

Ooh, I love cherries.

I know.

- You know, usually women only cook like this

when they want something.

Well, all I want is you.

- So, I guess, I didn't need to get you a gift then.

You got me a gift?

What'd you give me?

Tell me, baby.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, let's do yours first.

Neato.

You got the wheel and everything?

- I mean, you've been talking about doing it

since we went to that art show in town, honey.

You said that maybe if you could express yourself through art,

you might not want to, you know.

Oh, right.

Yeah, no, good idea, Charlie.

Thanks, baby bird.

This was really thoughtful.

Really?

You mean you'll try?

Mhm.

Now, it's your turn.

OK.

John, isn't this from, you know?

Yeah.

I saw you had your eye on it.

I snuck it off before we buried her.

What?

Honey, why would-- isn't this, like, evidence?

You know, we can't afford something like that.

I just-- I wanted to get you something

nice for our anniversary.

What?

You don't like it?

No, no, honey.

No, I like it.

I like it.

It's beautiful.

Are you sure?

Yes, yeah.

- I think it's of her dead mother or something.

We can take it out.

Yeah.

OK.

Looks so good on you.

Let's do it in front of her.

- Honey, I said I wasn't into that.

Come on, Charlie.

It's our anniversary.

No, no, John.

Oh, my God.

Where are you going?

To play with the dog.

What?

It's our anniversary.

I thought we were going to watch 90 Day Fiance together, honey.

It's the season finale.

It's just for a little while.

I had a rough day at work.

I'll be up in time.

- No, but wait, we didn't have cake.

Hey, there, girl.

Hope we didn't make too much noise and upset you.

Come here, girl.

Come here.

Don't be a bad dog.

Aww, good girl.

Good girl.

All right, let's go for a walk.

What a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Tom, how are you?

Good to see you.

Sarah, how are the kids?

Excellent.

We're trying.

Yes, purebred.

I know, her coat's coming in real well.

You gotta go.

It's walk time.

Time to go.

OK, now roll over.

Now beg, heel.

Now, take the treat.

What the fuck, Charlie?

When I'm down there, it means I'm busy!

I know.

90 Day Fiance is on, honey.

Just put the tape on.

But it already started.

We're missing the beginning.

Come on, please.

- You know that's just the recap.

I remember what happened last week.

I don't need them to tell me.

But you said, John--

Go on.

Better start the tape before I miss something important.

Go on.

What a fucking liar.

Why do you keep the letter from your ex if you're not

in love with her, huh?

Tell me!

You bitch!

You bitch!

You bitch!

- So you're a thief, too?

A criminal?

Bitch!

I didn't steal it.

I mean, I asked him.

He said it was fine.

You bitch!

You bitch!

- My children, my beautiful, warm country

to come to this cold, gray shithole in bumfuck

nowheresville, and you don't even have a job.