Sweet Home Alabama

Come on, Jake, slow down.

Hurry UP-

Melanie!

We gotta get home or Mom's gonna kill me.

Wow, did you see that?

1,001,1,002...

- Answer the question! - No!

No, you won't answer, or you won't marry me?

Jake Perry, I'm ten years old. I got too much to live for.

Not that way, you don't. Come on!

Wow! Cool.

It's hot. Don't touch it.

We'll be safe here.

Says who?

Everybody.

Lightning never strikes the same place twice.

Why would you want to marry me, anyhow?

So I can kiss you any time I want.

Oh, my God.

Hi.

That accent of yours is a lot thicker when you're dreaming.

How come y'all let me sleep?

- Calm down. It was five minutes. - What did I say?

We're all getting big raises when you become somebody.

Did they kill Badgley Mischka.

Laugh now, tomorrow it could be us.

Not us, you. I just make the coffee.

Thank you.

Thanks for the long night. I'll see you at the show.

See you later. Get some rest.

Andrew.

Honey, there's a rose for every moment I thought of you last night.

You must be exhausted. Knock 'em dead.

I'll see you at the show. It's gonna be great. I love you

I can't wait to see you. Goodbye.

OK, people we are officially late!

- Melanie! - Yes?

This top is supposed to be neon aubergine but it's all wrong!

OK, don't panic. That's my job. Put her on after Anouk.

The light cue is yellow. She'll look eggplant.

Pan, it's wrong because it's on backwards.

Miss Dixie, I'm scared of you!

Frederick, why are you here? You're the competition.

Competition? Please! Our designs are pearls.

Nothing comes between me and my protegee.

This is, after all, all about me.

I love this. Stella McCartney's gonna kill herself.

Why do I feel like I'm in Times Square, naked?

You'll be fine. Seven years ago, you were a debutante off the plantation.

Now you're my steel magnolia, with her very own show.

Get out before you make me cry.

Bonne chance.

Secretary Hennings, do you have a moment?

Please tell me he has a flaw somewhere.

He asked me to go to Ireland for Christmas.

He's going to ask you a lot more than that.

You think so?

- It's time, let's do this. - Alright, we got to go.

Places, everyone.

Let's go. Line up. OK, don't smile. No smiles, just smirks.

Wait.

OK, go.

Honey!

- Congratulations. - You're amazing.

- The flowers were insane. - I want this day to be perfect.

- God, what if they hate me? - Critics hate themselves.

Easy for you to say. I don't have thick Hennings skin.

No, you don't. And that is what I love about you.

I'm sorry. I have a meeting. You enjoy it and I'll see you later.

We've got that thing tonight at Lincoln Center.

- What thing? - Fundraiser thing.

Right. The thing. With your mother. That's tonight.

- I'm afraid so. - OK.

I am so proud of you.

- Thank you. - OK.

- I love you. - I love you, too. Congratulations.

His meeting's running late. He told me to take you inside.

Where are we?

- I'm so tired, Jimmy. - Yeah.

- I've just had it. - He shouldn't be too long.

Miss Carmichael, won't you come in?

So, have you made a decision?

- About what? - Ireland.

Ireland, honey? That's four months from now.

I was thinking maybe...

2-300 guests, tops.

For Christmas? Are you on some sort of medication?

What's going on? Where are we?

Oh, my God!

Melanie Carmichael, will you marry me?

Are you sure? I mean, are you really sure?

If you're not, we can just go back to the car.

- It's only been eight months. - I never do anything rash.

I never ask a question I don't know the answer to.

So at the risk of being rejected twice,

I'm gonna ask you again.

Will you marry me?

Yes.

Pick one.

- Mayor, just one shot. - Over here, Mayor.

- Where is he? - Running late.

Thanks to that Carbuncle girl.

- Carmichael, designer, Southern. - Whatever.

Your Honour, how do you answer

those who oppose your street-improvement project?

I suggest they drive through Brooklyn.

Maybe they'll disappear in a pothole.

Sources say your son's engaged to Melanie Carmichael.

Do you have a comment?

Trust me if my son were engaged, I'd have a comment.

- I thought you were tired. - Jimmy, excuse us.

I planned this for weeks. This thing tonight is perfect.

I can't wait to see my mother's face.

- Come on, let's call your parents. - No!

I mean, not right this second.

What I mean is, would you mind

if we kept this to ourselves for a few days?

Mel, it'll come out sooner or later.

I know but I haven't seen my folks in about seven years.

I just feel like I should probably tell them in person.

Of course.

And I think I should do it alone.

Mel, I'll have to meet them eventually.

I know. And they will love you. Eventually.

- Is it because I'm a Yankee? - Well, that, and a Democrat.

OK. Mum's the word.

- No one will know. - Thank you.

Secretary Hennings.

Hello.

Have you told your mother you're engaged?

Sorry we're late.

That lipstick doesn't suit you. What kept you?

- None of your business. - What's going on?

Tom, always a pleasure. Good to see you.

Melanie, darling. So good to see you.

Look at you, the belle of the ball.

I hear your newline is good.

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

- Andrew. - Yes?

Melanie is wearing a skating rink on an important finger.

- I'd like to keep this... - Oh, my God!

You're engaged?

Quiet.

I'm your first New York friend

and I read about it with 12 million other people.

Sorry. She grabbed my hand. What could I do?

I know. We read about it. Did you cry?

Wouldn't you?

One man for the rest of my life? I'd bawl. Come and meet us.

I can't. I'm in Alabama.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

He's loud, but he don't bite. Shut up, hound.

Lie down.

Come on, stay.

How can I help you?

Well, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce.

Jake, I mean it. The joke's over.

Let's finish this. I've got a plane to catch.

You're shitting me, right?

I never understood that expression, but no, I'm not shitting you.

Look, it's even got these idiot-proof tabs to make it easy.

One copy for me, one for you, one for the lawyers.

What? Speak.

You show up here after seven years

without so much as a, "Hey, there, Jake. Remember me, your wife?"

Or, "Hi, honey. Looking good. How's the family?"

You expect me to say you look good?

Did the Piggly Wiggly run out of soap?

They laugh at that up north, or wherever you've been?

You knew where I was. And don't pretend you missed me.

I missed you. But at this range, my aim is bound to improve.

Is that a threat?

I've got a lawyer charges $350 an hour.

He billed me every time you sent these back.

I'm glad you got the message.

- Shut up, Bear! - Shut up, Bryant!

What happened to Bear?

He died. You weren't here.

What are you doing?

Leaving. You should recognise the gesture.

Could we try to keep this as civilised as possible?

Please sign these so I can go home.

What do you know from home?

I bet your folks don't know you're here.

That's my business.

Honey, those people are the only family you got.

Don't "honey" me, honey!

Get your butt back in that car,

drive over and see 'em, then maybe we'll talk.

Jake!

You dumb, stubborn, redneck hick!

You won't sign these cos I want you to!

Wrong! I ain't signing

cos you've turned into some hoity-toity Yankee bitch

and I'd like nothing better than to piss you off!

What are you doing with Mo Slidel's plane?

- That's my business! - Fine!

Fine!

Divorce, my ass.