London Boulevard

You, you're out.

How goes it, Mitchel?

Prison makes me nervous, Billy.

Let's go, then.

Here's something new for you.

You can't smoke in the fucking pub.

They done it in Ireland.

They done it, fuck me, they done it in France.

New York, they've made the fags,

so they burn out if you leave them in the ashtray.

Tastes like shit as well.

You been to New York, Billy?

Well, that's another fucking story, isn't it?

The guy that owned this flat, this doctor,

got into heavy schtook with, shall we say, a money lender.

Left everything.

- You're the money lender? - Well...

Part of a firm.

And, we'd like you to be onboard.

I don't think so, Billy.

Still, you stay. Think about it. Whatever.

Where you gonna go otherwise, right?

What? £80 they give you to make your way in London.

In London?

What is it, £47 a week jobseekers allowance?

850 a week, this place.

On Kennington Road.

Here.

I won't use it.

You need it.

And you need me, mate.

You need your friend, Billy.

There's a party tonight, of course there's a party.

Usual, down at the Hanover.

Don't be late. It's your party, isn't it?

Did they hurt you in there, Mitchel?

Nah, not so you'd notice.

They hurt me in there, Mitchel.

I know they did, Joe. It's all right now. Here.

You don't have to do that.

Yeah, I do. It's a tax you pay for being all right.

You missed the World Cup.

Let's have it.

Fuck off.

Go on.

That's a shit place to park.

You're a legend.

A little something for a rainy day, mate!

Here you go, mate!

Welcome back, brother.

Shame we can't talk about work in a place like this, Mitch.

There's something I want to throw you way.

If you don't talk about work here, Danny, where do you talk about it?

- It's full of fucking reporters, isn't it? - What?

Do you know what I mean?

Fucking congregation of fucking southeast villains like this.

I mean, see that one over there? There.

Right, she's writing a fucking book.

And they all want their fucking picture taken, don't they?

They all want their photo in it. Fucking bunch of fucking tossers.

The pad you're in, yeah?

I don't need to tell ya there's no free lunches.

There are other things I can do, and maybe I want to fucking do them.

No, it ain't like you think.

I ain't going back inside, Billy, ever.

For fucking no one.

Then don't get caught, you fucking cunt.

There's a bit of a ruckus in the cellar, lad.

I think it's your sister.

Did you invite my sister?

Me? No.

She's a fucking cow.

Come on, darling.

What are you going to do? Are you going to kill me?

- Aye, I may. - You going to kill me?

Hey, hey. Yo, bro. It's all cool, yeah. It's a'right.

When you're black, I'll fucking tell you.

I told him. I told him it was only kissing.

Christ, Mitch, that ain't right. That's...

I don't give a fuck who it is!

That's Purple Dave's nephew.

- Which Purple Dave? - Eh?

Hey, what's up? Where you going? Mitch?

- You look nice, Briony. - Yeah? Do you like it? I stole it.

I'll call you tomorrow, all right?

You get some rest and no more drinking, right?

I've not been drinking. I've not been fucking drinking.

- On my meds, some chance. - Briony, you've been drinking.

- Get some rest. - I've not been drinking.

I've not... Ugh!

Fuck! Smells like someone's been drinking in here.

West 11. End of the road.

And make sure she gets to the front door, yeah?

If you care about me, you come and take care of me.

We tried that.

Here.

All right.

I haven't been drinking!

Fancy a drink?

All right. Not here.

Somewhere else.

Never again.

Where's Mitch?

Mad Tommy said... Mad Tommy with the mad hairpiece,

that this party was for a criminal, just out of Pentonville.

I was a criminal.

Presently, I am just unemployed.

Are you handy?

What, with hammers and such?

I might have something for you. A job, I mean.

I'm serious. I am.

Is it too little for you now? What a tradesman makes?

No. I know how little I need.

To be happy?

To be alive.

I'm Penny.

I'm Mitchel.

Look, I have this, um, friend.

We go back ages. She lives in Holland Park.

She's... retired.

Friend your age? RRetired?

You'd know who it was if I told you.

She's gone a bit Howard Hughes.

Still blind, you old fraud?

I need a favour.

Jesus Christ, Joe. Put it back.

- I found it in a bin, down the estates. - Right.

You know what?

Put it away.

Yes?

My name's Mitchel. I was told that I was expected.

We may well be expecting you.

I've been out of communication.

Go round there and there's a door. The kitchen door.

Don't. We keep the curtains closed.

Right.

Are you a thief?

I've never stolen anything.

Why did you go to prison?

I was in an altercation. It got out of hand.

Do you like violence?

I will hurt someone before they hurt me.

- Sometimes they come over the walls. - The paparazzi.

They're outside my house all the fucking time.

You know, it's got a bit much.

Right.

If they got over, if they got in...

Did you fuck Penny?

No.

That's odd. She's fucked everyone I've ever met. Except Jordan.

Thank you very much.

Could you get someone off the property if you needed to?

I mean, if I needed you to, could you help look after me?

Yes.

Uh, you have to sign a piece of paper. A...

Non-disclosure agreement.

Do you have a camera phone?

Jordan will take care of everything.

- Money. - Thank you, miss.

What she does these days, mainly, is paint.

She has a studio upstairs.

The papers would say she daubs.

See, you're not allowed to do more than one thing,

which is why a polymath, such as myself,

prefers to do nothing.

It's all about privacy, you see. This day and age.

Privacy.

I fancy celebrities rather like the Olympians of old.

They do wonder out there, the little people,

what their gods are doing, who they're fucking,

who they've chained to a rock, or turned into a fucking ass.

All this could be yours, later,

if you haven't nicked any Screaming Popes.

Are you fixed up?

For now, I am.

It's a nice day, if you like that sort of thing.

Everything you could possibly need is in here. Tools, ladders, paints.

If there's anything else, we have an account, down the road.

You've seen her in films?

Getting her kit off.

If it wasn't for Monica Bellucci,

she'd be the most raped woman in European cinema.

And all before the age of 30.

Of course, she's also very serious about her acting.

Apart from not wanting to do it, she's incredibly serious about her craft.

Her husband's a fuckwit.

His cars.

He hasn't a call for them. He's in Spain. Drunk.

They should be covered. They need to be taken care of.

Yes.

Well, if we could find the fucking titles, they'd have all have been sold.

You will arrive promptly at 7:30, work commences at 8:00 sharp.

At 11 :00, you'll have a tea break. At 1 :00, lunch for one hour.

- Monday's you'll do painting... - Jordan, I'm not sure of this...

Please, bear with me. I'm making all this up.

I'm a model of efficiency.

Wednesdays, the roof. Thursdays, windows.

Friday, the patio. Saturday, party. Sunday, go to church.

And pray, I pray you, for all of us entire.

Right.