Alone in the Dead of Night

See that pretty face of yours.

Mmmm.

I used to have a pretty face too.

Then I met this girl named Mary.

You know how that goes.

Please.

Yeah.

No.

Women!

Hello?

Who is it?

Hello?

Boo!

Oh. Holy shit.

You fucking scared the shit out of me.

You should have seen your face.

Oh man up, we've got one to drink.

Thanks.

Bravo, you're fucking giving me a heart attack.

When did you get back?

Like an hour ago.

Thought I'd stop by and see my favorite gimpy friend.

Is that okay?

Next time, text me, asshole.

Take off your shoes.

Why do you always forget that?

Are you aware of how much piss and shit...

Okay, I'm taking them off, I'm taking them off.

So how was the flight?

Awful.

Oh and I was sitting next to this little brat

who coughed and shit on me the whole time.

I swear I'm gonna get sick.

Oh, what is this?

What's what?

You have something right here.

It looks like herbies.

Herbies?

No it doesn't.

Cold sore.

It does not look like, you're a brat.

It does not look like herpes.

You're a jerk.

Where'd you get this?

Well one of my classmate took me to the Rose Bowl

and an old lady literally begged me

to take it with me home.

And it's kind of cool.

Mhmm, sure is.

What?

Smells like old people.

I hate that.

It freaks me out.

Okay, and what's worse, old people or brats?

Both.

Touche.

So how'd you get around the Rose Bowl?

Well, she made me use a wheelchair.

No.

Oh yeah.

It was actually kind of awesome.

It was, move bitches, skip the line,

just me rolling around.

Well.

Lines suck, so,

I guess that's okay.

Hey, you should be resting your leg anyway.

I'll do that.

Thank you.

So?

How was your trip?

I know you.

I know how you get.

So we don't have to talk about it.

Spill the beans.

Come on, just because I'm miserable

doesn't mean that you have to be.

Hah, no kidding.

Okay, we'll wait till later.

You need a top off?

Hold on.

And the award for the best actress goes to,

Shut up, it really hurts.

Mom, dad, Steven.

I just really wanna say thank you so much

for putting me in this film.

It's awesome.

I just, yes, feel,

Have you ever seen an awards show before?

I actually have.

Mhmm?

Okay.

I needed that.

Um, we're gonna go through that whole bottle.

A little for you, some for me, perfect.

Okay.

You're such a weirdo.

You like it.

Okay, that is exceptionally creepy.

I know.

God, I mean don't get me wrong, Picasso.

It is creepy but that is amazing at the same time.

God, look at that eyeball.

The class is gonna go nuts for this.

Look at that detail.

It's just so unrealized.

Unrealized, who says that?

I just did. It's stupid.

What the fuck, Mal?

I can't do anything right lately.

So you're just gonna go destroy your artwork,

throw a hissy fit?

It's garbage.

Most great artists, like really great artists

are tortured souls.

I am not a tortured soul.

That was really dumb, especially for you.

I just feel that everything I paint lately

is very depressing.

Because life is sunshine and rainbows all the time.

Like a trapper keeper from Lisa Frank in the fifth grade.

Shut up.

You shut up!

Ow, fuck!

You're a bitch, oh.

Ow.

No, not the leg, stop it. Stop, stop, stop.

I'm not always mean.

So when can you run again?

Not soon enough.

And, I could really use some cheap ass therapy.

That's why I don't run.

Too dangerous.

No, you're just lazy.

I am not lazy.

I work out every day.

Bis, uh.

Oh my god.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, me too, ooh.

Gonna start a team, then you do tris.

Oh yeah.

I learned this from Jillian Michaels.

We're losers.

Just be happy it wasn't worse.

It could have been way worse.

Yeah.

How awesome.

This has been the worst month of all time.

I can't believe I blow my knee out

right before we're about to leave.

I'm sorry.

And on top of that,

I get dumped too.

He was a fucking asshole, Mallory.

I feel like the ultimate loser.

Seriously, stop that.

He was such a loser.

You deserve so much better.

You're gonna go out and you're gonna find

somebody who treats you like gold.

'Cause he, Chuck, is a lying cheating piece

of dog shit.

I love dogs.

The fact that you're dwelling over him

is seriously unacceptable.

You dodged a major bullet with that one.

Okay.

Seriously now, you get free rein

like the easy way out.

You could go about doing your artwork still.

Be single, be fabulous

without having to worry about him

and his shenanigans.

I didn't want out.

Mal, he was such a dick.

You're not helping right now.

I just wanna have a good time.

My friend and some wine.

Okay?

Please.

Fine.

I'm not the one that brought it up.

Yeah and you're not helping right now.

This has nothing to do with you.

I'm just beyond frustrated about everything.

Well I get super defensive

when people mess with my girl, okay?

I know.

Did you tell your mom yet?

Nah.

Nah.

She has way too many troubles on her own.

Don't tell me, what happened?

Let's just say that men are pigs.

All of them.

I have something that's gonna cheer you up.

No.

Come here.

Come here, come here, you depressed little one.