Misfits

They needed to send a message.

Turning into a girl, does it cause sexual confusion?

They all got their powers before me. That's all he had left.

This girl he turns into, would you fuck her?

We've never seen her.

Shit!

We can't get caught, we're on probation.

Didn't take you long did it? Congratulations.

What d'you say?

I said do you miss it, the running?

Ain't nothing I can do about it, is there?

Why you even asking?

You're in a good mood!

Hey, you ran an 11.9. That's quick. That's very quick.

Who's your coach?

I haven't got one.

You should have one. Just think what you could achieve.

I just want to run. I'm not interested in anything else.

OK. It's your call.

Hi. Hi.

I'm Emma.

And you're?

Mel... issa.

I'm one of the losers you thrashed out there.

Looks like we'll have to up our game.

I should go.

The toilets are out of order.

So you piss in a sink?

Yeah, I was going to piss in like a bottle or the vending machine,

but this seemed more civilised. I'm not a complete caveman!

Oh.

Do we know each other?

I don't think so.

Now that is a tragedy.

We should really do something about it.

Move!

Imagine being up to your balls in there.

What can I get you?

Vodka and coke. Double.

You're Curtis Donovan, aren't you?

I'm doing the training camp at the Community Centre.

Saw you doing Community Service.

Right.

So is that for drugs?

Nah.

Something else.

That's four quid.

This is going to make me sound totally sad, but...

I used to love to watch you run.

You were so focused, like there was nothing else.

It's not cool, I know. I said it.

Thanks.

I thought you'd be off the alcohol and that since you're training?

You sound like my coach.

He says I've got to take my running more seriously.

I remember that! Your whole life becomes the training.

You say it like you enjoyed it.

You're one of those people.

What do you call them? They get off on being spanked...

Perverts?

No. Masochists. I'm not saying you do like being spanked.

Maybe you do.

Not sure where I was going with that!

Where are you staying?

Some student halls of residence.

So what is there to do around here?

You should do the lottery. Use your power. See the numbers.

Stick it to them. We'll split it, 50:50.

Why should I split it with you?

Because it was my idea, you!

I'm the brains, you're the stare.

50.

It's supposed to add up to 100.

Whoa, don't you even think about screwing me, sweet cheeks!

70:40. Final offer.

I don't get to choose what I see.

Ah!

Fine! 80:30. But I feel like I've been raped, and not in a good way.

What're you smiling at?

What? Am I not allowed to smile?

You look like you just got laid.

Did you just have a shag?

Something like that.

So who's the lucky girl?

You don't know her.

Piece of shit!

It won't start. I don't know why I opened the bonnet.

No idea what I'm looking at.

Want me to look?

What you know about cars?

I know about electronics, cos I'm a fucking rocket scientist, aren't I?

Try it now.

Thanks. You want a lift?

Look, you've already undermined my masculinity.

At least let me drive you somewhere. Get in.

Where to?

There.

Thanks for the lift.

Any time. I owe you.

Well you can give us a new power if you want.

I don't owe you that much.

Right, see you around.

Mind if I run with you?

Yeah, I do.

You fancy going to for a drink sometime?

How about dinner? Hmm?

Jesus!

Catch you on the next lap, yeah?

You look like you had a late one?

You'll never guess who I met last night.

Who?

Curtis Donovan. Remember him?

Sprinting guy that got banned for drugs?

Right. So what's he like?

Well, I thought he was cute.

Then we went back to his.

By the time my ban's over, it'll be too late.

No decent coach will want to work with me.

All the guys I trained with, I was way better than them.

He was so negative. Talk about feeling sorry for yourself!

Running's the only thing I was ever really good at.

The only thing that made me feel good about myself.

It's like he blames everyone else for what happened to him.

I had to kiss him just to shut him up!

I ended up giving him a sympathy shag.

What do you mean?

Big mistake.

The guy is clueless.

It was some of the worst sex I have ever had.

I have to warm down.

Good work today.

Hey, walking back to the Community Centre? I'll walk with you.

What d'you want?

I want you to come for a drink with me.

Just one drink.

I'm not interested, OK?

You don't know what you're missing. I know how to please a woman.

Take your fucking hand off my arse before I break it!

Oh, my mistake.

Lesbian!

Hi.

Hi.

Look, about last night...

It's all right.

We were both drunk. Let's just forget it ever happened.

I should get changed.

Ho-ho-ho!

Oh, that were brutal, weren't it?

That were like watching someone fist a baby lamb.

She just took a huge shit in your mouth!

Shut the fuck up, man!

All right.

Look, it happens to all of us.

Women are cruel and insensitive, and they are hurtful.

But they're so beautiful.

They smell really nice. They smell like...

Toffee apples.

Can I ask you something?

When we were together. Was I...?

What?

Was I all right?

You know, the sex stuff?

We couldn't actually touch each other, so...

No, what we could do.

Was I shit?

No.

That's one of those nos that means yes.

"No!" Fucking yes!

No! What're you saying?

I haven't said anything.

You were thinking it. Go on, I want to hear it.

No, you don't!

Is he better than me?

What, him? He's better than me?!

Don't talk about him like that!

Oh, man!

When we're doing it, he's focused on me.

What, and I wasn't?

You just spent a lot of time watching yourself.

That's bullshit!

Oh, really? Look, you were like this.

You done?

Look, this is the reason why girls never tell boys this stuff.

Your egos can't take it.

Oh, so that's another thing wrong with me?

Oh, here we go!

What's that supposed to mean?

It's like there's this big fucking cloud hanging over your head.

There ain't no cloud!

Oh really? "My life's shit! Everything's shit!

I shouldn't even be here!"

Look, if you don't want to hear it, don't ask.

Oh!

Ah! Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

D'you want to go out tonight?

It'll be fun!

I haven't got anything to wear.

I'll lend you something. About the same size.