The Meaning of Hugo (Meningen med Hugo)

Here's the plan.

We meet in the alley at five to ten. The bank opens at ten.

When they open, we storm inside.

You tell everybody to stay calm and not to try being heroes.

Then you and I perform a little play I've written.

Here's the script.

I'm the salesman, you're the girl with the mandolin-

-or maybe the other way around.

Then we'll leave the bank, jumping like apaches.

Like this.

I'll go now. You wait thirty minutes before you go.

See you tomorrow.

- Who the hell was that? - I've no idea.

IKIRU and FLINKULTUR present

a film by Björn Engström and Henrik Elmer

THE MEANING OF HUGO

- How much is it to the airport? - 495 kronor.

Here's 500. Take this bread to the airport.

Excuse me, I'm in a hurry... Do you have peanuts?

- Yes. - Excellent.

- What kind of bread? - Just plain bread.

He only said to the airport. Could you call them and check it up?

Arlanda airport, good morning.

MUSTARD FOXES by HENRIK ELMER

I'm looking for the book 'Mustard foxes' by Henrik Elmer.

It should be here.

Wait, I can feel something

I feel something.

Here it is.

Can I help you?

Can I help you?

Is that the real parrot?

Or is the real parrot the one in the mirror?

I don't think I can sell that one.

Hello.

Hello hello.

Hello hello.

I'm not a bird, I'm a monkey.

I'm not a bird, I'm a monkey.

Hello, I'd like to leave a message for a friend.

So... We have a message for a taxi driver with a loaf of bread.

Thank you for your help. You can keep the bread.

When not working in her mine, my mother went out to pick socks.

She liked the forest, but she hated trees.

She planned to build a funfair from the socks.

But she only managed a sock omelet, that couldn't even talk.

What a strange book.

I'm not a bird, I'm a monkey.

Good morning, I'd like to put in an ad.

For sale: Playful monkey. Very kind. House-trained.

Loves children.

I know. Every child wants a monkey.

Just like I thought. You can't drink a bun through a straw.

Help, the bun is trying to drink me. Help!

You're out of your mind.

Really? Who's mind am I in then?

Well, well.

Why do I never learn?

Isn't it strange how I always fall in love with girls in cafés?

- Why do you think you do that? - No idea. I don't even like cafés.

Why do you go to cafés then? Is it just to meet girls?

No. When I want to meet girls, I go to the north of Greenland.

I haven't found any girls there, but I never give up.

- Do you have a name? - Yes, don't you?

Yes, but it's not just my name. I share it with some other people.

Hugo.

- What name do you share? - Helen.

Do you wish you were the only one with that name?

No. I don't mind sharing.

Do you wish you were the only one called Hugo?

Yes.

Sometimes I want to kill everybody else called Hugo, to avoid confusion.

- Are you a bit crazy? - No, I'm completely normal.

- Completely? - Absolutely completely normal.

- What a shame. - Why?

That means you lack the courage to ask for my phone number.

It looks very normal.

Give me a normal call then.

To our coppermine we go every day to cut wood

for the fires which are burning so you can get copper from the mine

Hey ho hey he, to our coppermine we go

Hey ho hey ho hey ho hey ho hey ho hey ho hey

Hello. My car broke down. Could I use your phone?

- Hello? - Hi, this is Hugo from the café.

- Hi. Where are you? - Why do you ask?

- I didn't recognise the area code. - That's because I'm in Falun.

- Or just outside Falun. - Why are you in Falun?

I'm visiting a friend. Would you like to have a drink tomorrow?

- In Falun? - No, I'm going back home tonight.

Sure, why not.

But I don't know what time I'm free. Can we speak tomorrow afternoon?

Alright. Bye.

Come on now. Take this chance.

We have 5,000 kronor in the pot, which can soon be yours.

Pick up the phone and answer the question...

How many wheels are there on a bicycle?

Call, damn it. Call. 5,000 kronor can be yours.

Take a chance. Call now.

I'll give you a clue. Here it is.

How many wheels are there on a bicycle?

You seem to need one more due.

It's not a unicycle or a tricycle.

It's an ordinary...

Look at me, I am a cow Let me tell you how

I've been running round the earth ever since my birth

Cheer up, Tim. We'll buy you a new cow.

- Are you looking for this? - Yes, where did you find it?

I couldn't avoid her. She was looking for you everywhere.

Twenty people tried to hold her, but she went completely mad.

After trying to eat a bicycle, she ran into a tobacco shop.

She hid behind the till, attempting to look like a camel.

But finally we managed to get her back to you.

Thank you.

By the way.

Do I seem normal?

Dad and his lawyer had just invented a new board game-

-with an onion as dice and toothbrushes as playing pieces.

It was exciting for three hours, then it got increasingly boring.

To cheer up, they made a prank call to the reception.

As a punishment, they were given loads of dirty sheets-

-which were expected to be washed and ironed in half an hour.

They misunderstood, thinking the sheets would clean themselves.

So although a bit sceptical, they awaited the magic to happen.

Half an hour later, the sheets were of course as dirty as before.

Next day, the lawyer woke up in a small boat on a lake.

Hello.

Right. We're neighbours. I'm your neighbour. I live there.

So I suddenly thought it would be nice if we knew each other a little.

For example, you might like to come over for a cup of tea?

Now?

Cause that's a thing neighbours do.

Yes.

But anyway...

I quite like it here, in this building.

How...

How long have you lived here for?

So what else do you do?

- Hello? - Hello.

Has there been someone here who looked like me but with a hat?

- I don't think so. - Good.

If he comes, tell him I'm tired of this.

He can do whatever he likes, but I don't want to see him.

- Okay. - Tell him that.

- Hello. - Hello.

Has there been someone here who looked like me without a hat?

Yes. He said he's tired of this and he doesn't want to see you again.

- Did he say that? - Yes.

- He really said that? - Yes.

If he comes back, show him this.

Let's see what he says about that.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Has he been here? - Yes.

He asked me to give you this.

What is this?

It's just strange symbols. This is so typical of him.

- Or is this your idea? - No.

- Did you think this up? - No.

Tell him he can keep his hat.

Hello.

- Hello. - Has he been here?

- Who? - The guy who had been here?

Well, then I guess he still has been here.

- But has he been here again? - Who?

The guy who looks like me but without a hat.

- Are you also a twin? - What?

You think that was really funny, don't you?

- Who was that? - The guy with the hat.

Hello? Ad? What ad?

The monkey? Yes, that's here.

CREAM

I'll just listen to her heart.

No problems. Give her those pills, and everything will be fine.

Just one moment... This is Åke's pet clinic.

Hi, my name is Hugo. My fish here in the aquarium has caught an illness.

- Some kind of fish illness. - Okay?

It hasn't eaten for some days and today it's been behaving very oddly.

It seems dizzy and it's swimming around in bizarre patterns.

A moment ago, it started foaming from its mouth. Is that normal?

Hello?

Hello?

- Where's the fish? - Help!

- Make a Wish! - No!

- Help! - Stop running away!

- You can wish anything! - No!

You have three wishes!

And you can't wish for more wishes!

Hello?

- Hi. - He just vanished.

- We came to look at a monkey. - Oh. Did you call earlier?

Yes.

It's a parrot Parrots are boring.

I'm not a bird, I'm a monkey.

You moron.

- I think they're too big. - What?

Those pieces of bread are too big.

I think the birds are too small. They should have made them bigger.

Something funny happened to my son. He's a taxi driver-

-and someone asked him to take a loaf of bread to the airport.

And when he came to the airport, did they tell him to keep the bread?

They do that when there are no planes coming.