Um Pai em Apuros

It's unbelievable.

I never, ever, let my family go without anything.

Sometimes I wasn't there because I couldn't be, but even then,

I made sure everything was taken care of, so I wasn't missed.

I never even cheated, guys.

Maybe in my mind, but, you know… But the kids always had everything.

They ask for a lot. "Dad, I want to take this class."

"I want a drone." "I want a tablet."

I give them what they want. I keep going. For God's sake.

Then your phone rings. "It's about a donation."

I don't know what I'm donating. It's all automatic.

It's important that you understand that if I'm not a good guy,

if I'm not a good father,

if I'm not a good husband, then the concept of "good" is wrong.

Oh! Water!

So it's important that you all understand, in my defense,

that what I'm going through is very hard.

WELCOME

DADDY'S IN TROUBLE

2 WEEKS EARLIER…

That's great. That is so great.

-Morning, pancake. How are you? -Morning, honey.

Excuse me, sir, I'm sorry to bother you.

-Keep an eye on the sandwiches. -Yep.

It's your kids' snack.

Super easy. Green light comes on, ready.

-Okay, honey. -Okay?

Mom, you're so annoying! You turn the AC off every day.

-It's so hot. -Mom, where's my drone?

-I saw it near my closet. -No. The drone flew away.

Nobody knows where it is. It's breakfast time.

You're raising your daughter, right?

-Tom Tom is awake. -Hi, sweetie. Good morning.

Good morning. No good morning for me?

-Morning, Mom. -Great.

We don't have another thing. Sandwiches. Daddy let them burn.

Honey, I'm busy.

I can't do everything at once, for God's sake.

-Mom, we're out of granola. -Hold on.

The cheese is watery from the fridge.

-Hold on. -Mom, the butter's too hard.

Hold on.

Since you're my lawyer and you're here, can you help me with this contract?

I need to get this straight before work.

It's 146, 147, 148. And Clauses 3 and 1. I'm not understanding the text.

I want to be sharp for work.

-Can you help me with this contract? -What?

Come on, it's a huge company, you can ask a lawyer to help you.

Yeah, Vicente could help, but who needs Vicente

when I have the best lawyer in town here at home?

-Former lawyer. -Once a lawyer, always a lawyer.

-There are tricky parts. I think it-- -My dear, let me tell you something.

Every second I'm late, the traffic gets worse.

If you took the kids to school, you'd know, but that's not the case.

Let Mommy see, turn around. Look, it's…

-It will improve. -Found it.

I can't help you right now!

I have to do her hair. God.

-Mommy will try again. -I won't forget this, okay?

It will be prettier this time.

Let's go! We're late!

-Seriously, not now. -But…

I can't believe it. Good morning, Simone!

-Mr. Fred is still here? -He is. Listen.

I went to the market yesterday. I bought chayote, zucchini…

Sweet potatoes were terrible. Let's make broccoli rice today?

Let's go, guys!

-Let's go. That's it. -Good morning!

-Let's go to school. You'll go with João. -Oh, Tom Tom!

-Bye, Simone. -I'll take the kids to school. Let's go.

Simone, excuse me. Did you get hurt? You're limping. What happened?

No, it's just that one of my legs is shorter than the other.

-Since when? -Since I was born.

Do you know what they have at school today?

The day of…

Fred, Simone has been with us for seven years.

Just so you know. You missed the limping for seven years.

See? I need your help. I can't understand this contract.

-Hurry, give it to me. -Thanks.

Let's go.

-Everyone have their seatbelts on? -Yeah.

-Let's go. -Let's go.

Bye, Daddy. Bye.

-Kisses, Daddy. -Bye.

Let's go.

WELCOME! RABBIT HOME CENTER - ENTRANCE

MANAGEMENT

Hey.

Jerk.

Go away. I have nothing to say to you.

In Cambridge?

He speaks English, French, all at the same time.

Jerk.

-Morning. -Morning.

-Morning, Mr. Fred. -Morning, Beth.

The coffee's terrible. I messed it up today.

Great. You say "good morning," and take out the good.

Just drink it fast because the Board's coming.

That's great.

…don't miss out on our exclusive deals.

These things make me so mad, you know?

We'll deal with it.

Matheus.

HUMAN RESOURCES

Of course my toilet can be art. It depends on…

-Morning, Fred. -Morning.

-Morning, Mr. Pontes. -Morning.

Morning, Dante. Glad to see you here. Everything okay?

Fred, Matheus has something to show you. Please.

A cleaning staff employee was caught on the security cameras.

What did she steal?

Wing screws. Three of them.

-Three boxes? -No.

-Three screws. -Oh, okay.

I thought…

We have a delicate situation on our hands.

Someone steals, but they steal three items.

-Yeah. -What do you do with this person?

What do you do?

Petty theft, nothing major, right? You can't…

It's complicated. I think, to be fair, we should issue a warning.

-Yes. -We make an example of her.

For the company as a whole…

-No? -Maybe.

What do you mean?

A warning? Today, it's three wing screws,

tomorrow it's an armed robbery.

-Robbery? -Yes, that's true.

-Is it? -It is.

It is. No, of course it is.

He's absolutely right. And we have to lead by example.

We have to lead by example. Here's what I propose.

A three-day suspension so she can think about it.

-Sure. -Right?

Three days. One for each screw.

I feel like you're downplaying the offense, Fred.

-Maybe. -Me?

-Yes. -No…

I actually thought three days per screw.

You didn't let me finish my train of thought.

Three days for each screw.

So, nine. Let's call it ten.

Yes. Makes sense.

In my opinion,

that lady should pay for the entire stock of screws.

Hey.

Look.

I agree.

Guys, come on. Enough is enough!

Let's be rational here. 'Cause… I'm noticing something very common.

Emotion's overtaking reason. Enough, guys. I say we fire the lady now.

No, I agree. I agree. We can't let reason be clouded by emotion.

-Exactly. -Very good. Very good, Fred.

The termination paperwork's here. Sign it, let's get this done.

I don't have my pen, because I…

Use mine.

Matheus.

-That was heavy. -What the hell?

-That was unnecessary. -At least it's two-for-one beers Tuesday.

-Nice. -I want both.

I'll ask for one, get two, and drink them, no sharing.

-What? Why so selfish? -Selfish?

Look what I'm going through, what Dante does to me.

-He's like a soap opera villain. -No, Mr. Pontes is--

-He's more of a suck-up. -So there are two villains.

-Two nuisances in my life. -Yes.

Jesus. Good thing it's two-for-one Tuesday,

because we really need and deserve it.

Yeah. You'll go home seeing double.

-To us. -To our choices.

-And loved ones. -To loved ones.

Yeah. Thanks, Marconi. I appreciate it, buddy.

Being an adult sucks, man.

And we thought it would be easier. Right?

Roberta is the lucky one. She's there smelling them…

You know? That's luck.

Clarice! I already told you to stop that.

Mom, João is breaking our TV deal.

I asked for five minutes, Mom. Could you stop being so annoying?

-I'm hungry, Mom. -Me too.

I'm only one person, taking care of your brother.

-Where's Dad? -He could bring pizza.

Oh, but today's Tuesday, and Dad's partying.

He won't be home until ten.

-No. -Give me the remote, João!

-Give me five minutes! -Give it to me!

-I'm the oldest. -You wouldn't give me five minutes.

Speaking of things we're thinking about…

His face is just like yours, but it's better on him.

10:08 PM

Found it!

-Let's call the kids? -Stop it, man.

Can I ask who let you stay up this late?

Even Tom Tom's awake.

He just fell asleep, and God help you if you wake him up. Turn off the TV now.

João's playing the guitar and you're not saying anything.

Because this scolding is for you.

João's scolding is being prepared and will come his way soon.

Enough. Stop with the guitar.

God, Mom, can't you see I'm playing?