Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder

You and I will be reborn

In a future place and time

If everything our Hindu brethren say is true

In an age of things that hover

You and I will still be lovers

And we'll say to ourselves

That was then and this is, too

Doo-doo-be-doo, doo-doo

'Cause we'll still find the happening hot spots

We'll still cruise the cool casinos

You'll still fly me to the moon

Although the moon to which you fly me

Could be Phobos or Deimos

The psychic worms from Rigel nine

Who control everything we do

Will make us think that was then

And 3010 is exactly the same as 1962

Don't expect any changes, my friend

That was then and this is, too

Wow, Mars Vegas. Long live the eternal city.

Two, one, zero!

Rest in hell, Crapville!

Out here in the desert, we're gonna build bigger, better Vegas.

Bathtubs size of oceans, hookers size of bouncers.

Hamburger!

Stand clear of the closing jaws.

Yo, you need any girders bent, I know a guy.

So what's gonna be over there, Dad?

That? That the oasis.

Future site of Oasis Hotel.

Take that, you stupid Mother Nature.

Okay. Let's hit him hard.

This land is your land This land is my land

Who are you noisy women?

I'm Frida Waterfall, leader of the Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective,

and we will not let you man-doze this beautiful gyno-desert.

Well, I'm Leo Wong, and I say, "Boom."

Hey, what happened to my femi-necklace? And where's my mega-fem?

Is he badly hurt, Dr. Zoidberg?

I don't quite know how to say this.

Fry is dead!

Wait, not dead. The other thing.

Damn eco-broads!

You can't even spray for eagles without upsetting these kooks.

Now, hang on. Before you do construction,

don't you have to make sure you're not harming any native species?

You mean, cursory environmental survey?

Already done! By top scientist.

Oh, my, yes. You've got the go-ahead, Mr. Wong.

This place is deader than last year's cat.

No, it's not!

There's precious life right here in this scum puddle.

Ah!

Cyprinodon martius. The desert muck leech.

Amazingly, the entire species lives in this one tiny stinkhole.

Killing these will be so much easier than exterminating those ponies.

Wait a second.

Leeches may not be cuddly like pandas or tribbles,

but these poor endangered creatures deserve...

Get off me!

I'll get it with my trusty foot cups: Stompy and Smashy.

No, don't kill it! We have to...

There. They're not endangered anymore. They're extinct.

No, they're not. I saved this one.

And I'm gonna raise it and care for it,

so the world will forever know what it's lost.

You freaking slime wad!

No. I killed it. It was the last of its kind.

Mother. Let go of me, you...

Poor thing.

Tell you what, Fry. You all promise not to sue me,

I give you token for free entry in poker tournament.

He took it, you all saw it!

Maybe we did, maybe we didn't. What's in it for me, Bender?

Okay, okay. Come back when New Vegas opens,

I give you all free rooms,

free dinner and free tickets to Celine Dion.

Lose the Celine Dion tickets and you got yourself a deal.

All right, damn it, done!

All right, I scored.

Look out, Vegas, I've got a system.

Oh.

I'm bankrupt.

You said it, Hermes. He is pathetic, but lovable.

Yup. What? I said no such thing, man.

I am not acting weird, Leela. Why is everyone talking at once?

Fry, calm down and stop braining.

Yeah, Fry, maybe you need...

You're right, Amy! Maybe I do need some fresh air.

Man, I'm worried about him.

But not enough to stop gambling for even a single second.

You win, damn it!

It's all in the wrist.

Voices always yelling.

Who said that? I'm not insane. Stop it. Stop talking in me!

Voices bothering you, man? I've been there.

You need one of these doodangs.

A foil hat? Of course, he likes pastrami.

What about the dog's testicles?

Hey, it worked. The voices stopped.

They've got a huge selection of carburetors...

Hang on. Hang on.

That's better. My name's Hutch.

Hi, Hutch. So what's with the obnoxious, shrieking voices?

Are my fillings picking up The View?

No, man. Truth is, it's other people's thoughts.

You're a mind reader.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Although, actually, it was sort of obvious.

You don't believe me? Take off the helmet.

- I believe you. - Seriously, do it.

Testing, testing. Do you read me?

Loud and clear. - What?

I said, "Loud and clear."

Only I said it with my thinker, not my talker.

Whoa! Freaky. Why can't I read your thoughts?

I don't know. Wait. What's that about a secret society?

Never mind that. Just keep the foil on and you'll be okay.

Also, it'll keep the Dark Ones from incinerating your brain.

That's a plus.

And don't ever, ever, ever tell anyone you can read minds,

or the Dark Ones will get you like that.

Hang on, pizza grease.

Like that.

Jeez, get a load of the batteries on her.

I'd like to get my clamps on those.

Give her a jump, you know what I mean?

Whoa, whoa.

Show some decorum there, Clamps. This ain't no strip show.

This is a beguiling display of the pornographic arts.

Yo, Skip, I can see a guy's butt.

Oh, Michael, this is the perfect end to a perfect honeymoon.

I love you so much.

- Is this seat taken? - Actually, we...

Slide me those chicken wings.

So what part of Podunk you rubes from?

The north-eastern.

Monsieurs et mademoiselles,

our circus of the senses now arrives by steamboat in New Orleans, circa 2873.

The muted lament of a trombone resonates through the fog,

which lingers even now, months after the attack of the fog monster.

With but one hope of restoring Gearoticus to his throne,

our sensual fate rests in the gyrations of

Fanny.

Oh.

Yes?

I'm Bender. Let's do it.

Who is it, the Feds?

Aren't you the Donbot, head of the Robot Mafia?

Allegedly. And this is my beloved wife, Fanny,

whose honor I would proudly defend with a power drill.

Well, I gotta go drown a stoolie.

I'm gonna be in here a while, so do me a favor and drive my wife home.

It's one of them self-driving cars, so just sit in the back and do whatever.

Oh, Bender, your lips are intoxicating.

It's like kissing an ashtray full of hot wings.

My God, I really can read minds. I have a superpower!

There must be something great I can do with this.

Hello, ladies, I can read your thoughts.

Oh, wait, that's invisibility.

Poker. With my mind-reading abilities and my invisibility...

Wait, no, just the mind reading. I can't lose!

Sign me up for the tournament, please.

Okey-doke, Jiffy Pop. Entry fee's 50,000 smackers.

50,000?

Drat, all I have is my life savings

and a token for free admission to this poker tournament.

Close enough.

You're having an affair with the head of the robot mafia's wife?

Yup, this is her I'm making out with.

Bender, are you crazy?

No, it's Fry who's crazy in this one.

I'm not crazy.

You sure you're okay, Fry?

I mean, you do have tin foil on your head.

So? You got a leech on your neck.

And speaking of sucking on your neck, want to go to a movie later?

Hey, there! How are you folks doing tonight?

Great. What are the specials?

Well, let's see now. We've got a wonderful grizzly bear

that's been dipped in cornmeal and lightly tormented.

- Questions? - What was the bear's name?

- Jojo. - Ooh, I'll have him.

- Hide me! - Hey, Donbot,

ain't that your wife what with you had that wedding with?

Donbot, honey! What a pleasant shock!

I was just having dinner alone, when suddenly you walk in on us.

Alone, huh?

Where am I?

I was exploring a wormhole through space many light years from this restaurant,

when suddenly I was surrounded by darkness.

Hot, sexy darkness.

Why, hello, Donbot! Hello, miss, have we met? I'm Bender.

The world's most sexual robot.

I mean, the world's most boundary-respecting robot.

Nice to see you, Bender. Welcome back to our universe.

Listen, sugar, I stuck up the Burlington Coat Factory

and got you a little something. It's a $49 value.

Donbot, I love you!

- Not really. - Man, this is great!

I always wanted to nail a dame in a fur coat, and now's my chance.