Good Luck Charlie

Honey, you are going to lo my Halloween costume this year.

But not as much as you are gonna love mine.

No, you're gonna love mine more.

- No, you're gonna love mine more. - Guys!

Save the creepiness for tonight.

By the way, I can't take Charlie trick-or-treating this year.

I've got plans.

Ivy and I can take her. We're going to a party, but that's not until later.

You wanna know what my plans are?

Okay, you forced it out of me.

I am going out.

With a girl.

So is Emmett going as Beyonce again?

Her name is Zoey, and I met her while delivering chicken...

Two piece, dark meat, gravy on the side.

- Wow, she sounds great. - I know.

She's a lot of fun. You're gonna love her.

Love her already.

Stop that.

Well, I for one am glad to hear.

That P.J. Has gotten over Skyler and has found a new girl.

Hey, so long as I don't have to look.

At Beyonce Emmett, I'm happy.

- Happy Halloween, Mrs. Dabney. - What do you want?

I see you put on early this year. E.

And I see you're going devil child again.

Oh, you added the word "evil" this year. Nice touch.

I like to keep it fresh.

Anyhoo, I'm here to talk about the trouble.

That you always have on Halloween.

You mean the trouble that started 11 years ago.

About the same time you learned to walk?

Every year, and your house gets egged.Red.

For just $50, that stops. Sure.

So you're offering me protection...

From you.

From an unnamed hooligan.

Named Gabe.

Who hurt you so bad that you can't trust?

All right, fine. I guess I have no choice.

- You've got a deal. - All right.

I'll just take that 50 and we'll move on with our lives.

I don't have that kind of money just sitting around.

I'm gonna need a little time.

All right.

You better hurry.

It gets dark very early this time of year.

I love Halloween.

So do I.

Well, Charlie, as you can probably see.

Us Duncans take Halloween.

Very seriously.

I'm home.

Oh, I wonder who that could be.

Why, it's dad!

Hi, I'm Bob.

Of Bob's bugs be gone.

How's your vermin?

I'm home!

Well, if it isn't... Ashley tisdale?

I'm mom,

And I'm a star.

Ba-bam!

Yeah? Well well, I'm not an exterminator.

I'm a pest control specialist.

Did I ever tell you about the time

I went to southwest Denver community college?

Me want donut. Me want donut.

Well, things are getting a little ugly.

We'll see you at Thanksgiving.

Hey, Gabe. You gonna put on your costume?

Hey, everybody.

- What are you supposed to be? - I'm a goth wearing a mustache.

Well, that's kind of a weird costume.

Not as weird as little bo peep.

Well, actually, the little bo peep costume wasn't appropriate...

There was not enough bo, a little too much peep.

- Hmm. - No, I'm Mary.

From "mary had a little lamb."

Oh! But I seem to be missing something.

Oh, little lamb.

- Go ahead, Charlie, say it. - Baa.

Carrots? Where's the candy?

Oh, we're not giving out candy this year.

I thought it would be fun to hand out healthy snacks instead.

We're gonna be that house?

Our first trick-or-treater.

Carrots? You're th house?

Ivy, we're going to a costume party. Where is your costume?

Oh, I've got a costume.

That is so real.

I was gonna put the cleaver on my head,

But I didn't wanna compete with all this.

- Trick or treat! - Oh my gosh, a Teddy bear.

That is so adorable. You know, my name is Teddy.

Trick or treat!

Here you go, Teddy bear.

Carrots. You're kidding, right?

Teddy bear's got a little 'tude.

- Happy Halloween. - Thanks.

Don't bother.

Mrs. Dabney?

Go away! This is a recording!

It's Gabe!

Huh! Ironic,

Considering all the times I've thought about removing your head.

I'm here for my 50 bucks.

- First sign this. - What is it?

A contract guaranteeing.

That nothing's gonna happen to my house tonight.

Now go away before you attract the treat-or-trickers.

You mean the trick-or-treaters?

Whatever. I hate this holiday.

I've got it.

- Hey. - Hi.

Zoey, I'd like you to meet my mom... I mean my dad...

Guys, your costumes are too good.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hey. - And your costume is blowing my mind.

- Right? - Well, I guess.

Um, who exactly are you supposed to be?

My sister. She looks like this.

Wow. Now I get it.

My parents are dressed as each other.

- Yeah. - You remind me a lot of my parents.

- Do they like to have fun too? - No, I meant that there are two of them.

Well, we should get going.

- Have fun. - Yeah. Bye.

Wow, she's a spark plug.

Hey, Beyonce Emmett's looking better and better.

Hey, kiddo, that your second costume? It's kinda lame.

Yeah, who cares? Second time around is all about volume.

- What do you want? - I want to show you something.

What? I didn't do this.

Someone did, and I paid you $50 to protect my house.

But it wasn't me.

But it will be you cleaning it up.

Huh! I don't... I don't think so.

Let's take a closer look at the contract you signed.

Right there.

"if provider, Gabe Duncan, fails to protect said residence,"

The provider, Gabe Duncan, agrees to work for Mrs. Dabney.

For one full day..." work for you doing what?

- Keep reading. - "...Doing whatever Mrs. Dabney tells him to."

- You tricked me. - And that's my treat.

Oh.

- Go ahead, Charlie. Go get a piece of candy. - Go ahead.

- Charlie! - I'll get her.

That was hilarious!

No, it wasn't. What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with you? It's Halloween.

Yeah, but scaring a two-year-old isn't funny.

- It's mean. - She's only two?

I'm sorry. I didn't know.

- Here, take some extra candy. - Thank you.

Oh! What?

Karl, one; Trick-or-treaters, zero.

Oh, what is that horrible smell?

I added some rotten eggs to the fake blood.

It's kind of my secret sauce.

Ugh!

I can't go to a party smelling like this.

A party? I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Reach into the cauldron. There's some perfume in there.

Oh, reach into your own cauldron, you clump nugget!

I hate that Karl kid!

I mean, no one would even talk to me at the party.

Can you blame them? Mary had a little smell.

We need to teach Karl a lesson.

Well, can you teach it from over there? You've still got a little stink on.

Ivy,

I want revenge.

Okay, so what's your plan?

How about this?

I get a library card in Karl's name,

I check out a lot of books.

And I keep them well past their due dates.

Okay, I'm no good at this. Help me.

Okay, fasten your seat belt.

Ivy's gonna introduce you to

the dark side.

I hate November 1st.

Yeah, that's the problem with malted milk balls...

One's too many and 1,000 aren't enough.

No more candy ever again.