Childrens Hospital

Previously on "Childrens Hospital".

Hey, I want to show you something.

Tell me what this makes you think of.

Okay. A penis.

Huh. Okay let's try another one.

- Penis. - Interesting. One more.

- Penis. - Very cool.

- You're there, you're there, you're there. - No!

Oh my God! Oh my God!

Hi, I'm Chief. The chief surgeon.

I can cure you.

If he does that, you might lose your sexy strut.

I give you the new Chief.

I'm gonna try and cure you the old-fashioned way,

using the healing power of laughter.

Why don't you try the healing power of medicine?

I don't have a brain tumor.

I just couldn't think of a reason to break up with you.

That's just the brain tumor talking.

I want to operate on your nonexistent tumor.

I did extract the brain tumor,

using only the healing power of laughter,

so that was a success.

And she died. Sorry.

You might say I'm headed for a bit of a nervous Blake Down... s. M. D.

Coming this fall.

- How old is Nicky? - Six.

I like turtles!

He's got the rarest case of advanced aging disease I've ever seen.

- Hi! - He got you pregnant?

It's immoral! I'm disgusted!

Totally kidding. It's fine.

- Have any names picked out? - We're not telling anyone yet.

Tobey Maguire!

I dread the future.

It's been so much less experienced than the past.

I wish I aged backwards, like Merlin, or Bruce Springsteen, or anyone from the Planet Ork.

Some people say the past is not past, or even over.

Those people are pretentious.

I see it everywhere, the past. And it looks like Lola.

Lola! Oh.

But it's not her. It's never her,

because my best friend, Dr. Lola Spratt, is dead.

But in my memory, she lives.

But as time goes by, even the memory of her face becomes fuzzy.

But some days, I can feel her with me...

In the smile of a child or in the innocence of one of God's more gentle creatures.

Everything ends.

But what do you call an ending that begins all over again?

A beginding.

All righty. Let's begind at the beginding.

Hi. You must be Cat.

- I'm so happy you could join us. - Sorry I'm late.

- God. Sarcastic much? - I wasn't being sarcastic.

- I'm thrilled that you're here. - Wow, there was traffic. I have my period.

I totally understand. If you've got pain, take the day off.

Oh, my God. Are you done, Don Rickles? What's the deal with this guy?

Meet the new fuehrer, Sy Mittleman.

He runs the insurance company that owns the hospital now. Total suit.

- What does the chief think about this? - Oh, she doesn't care.

She's totally in love with him but pretending to hate him so that we think she's cool.

Go back to your corporate penthouse cubicle, Don Rickshaws.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have got to find new ways to raise revenue for this hospital.

I'm so sorry. Some of my butterflies got out of my collection this morning.

He collects butterflies? Typical suit.

You know what? Why don't we just get out there and save some lives?

Wow!

Attention, all staff... Buzzed surgery is the same as drunk surgery.

Chief, I'm so glad I happened to run into you.

I am glad that I happened to run into you, too,

By accident. Oh.

Yeah, I got it. I'm on it.

Sorry. My staff hates you, so I have to pretend that I do, too.

That must be hard, suddenly not being the boss anymore.

Sy, last year, I was riddled with muscular and neurological disease.

I had an operation that transformed me

into the beautiful, healthy creature you see before you.

Oh. Here she comes. Yeah.

I'm good with change.

I'm also good at changing in and out of various outfits...

Costumes, if you will.

Yeah! Whoo!

Ah! This is fun.

- You want to do another pass? - Absolutely.

Oh, my God. I almost forgot.

There's something extremely, extremely urgent I need to tell you.

The future of this hospital depends on it.

Oh, my God. You tell me right now, you son of a bitch.