The Big Bang Theory

So, we're about to shoot this scene in the movie

where the killer ape DNA is slowly taking over my body.

Okay.

But I realize they're gluing fur everywhere,

except my cleavage.

So, I asked the director why

and he says, it's important to the story that my boobs

be the last things to turn ape.

It's sweet that he thinks there's a story.

Oh, and there's not even a bathroom on set.

I have to go to the gas station across the street.

I mean, I was dressed like half an ape

and still not even close to the most disgusting person in there.

Leonard, I could use your assistance.

Sure. What's up?

Well, now that I've given up string theory,

I'm struggling to find my next area of focus.

So, in your professional opinion,

which of these areas do you think

is the most promising?

Huh, well, I-I think there's some

really innovative stuff going on in dark matter.

That's helpful.

Okay. Of these four areas...

Sheldon!

What did we say about being a nicer friend?

Thank you.

Leonard, what did we say about being a gullible weenie?

- It is just so frustrating. 'Cause you're

trying too hard. You need to do something else.

Get your mind off it.

Hey. How about we bring back Anything Can Happen Thursdays?

Hey, that's good. Why'd you guys stop doing that?

You made fun of us. Said it was stupid.

Yeah. Sounds like me.

Come on, Sheldon. What do you say?

All right. I officially reinstate.

Anything Can Happen Thursday.

Great! What do, what do you want to do?

I don't know.

What do you want to do?

I don't know. What do you want to do?

I'm starting to remember the problem with.

Anything Can Happen Thursdays.

== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man.

Hmm...

what could we do that's fun?

What could we do that's different?

What could we do that's free?

Got it!

We order a pizza.

Are you kidding? That's what you always do.

Think harder.

You're right. You're right.

Got it!

We order calzones, cut them open,

eat them like pizza.

All right! All right! I'll shake the brain bush

one more time, see what falls out.

Got it!

There's a live-action role-playing group

that meets every Thursday night in Griffith Park

and reenacts battles from Lord of the Rings.

Uh, tell me more about this calzone idea.

You know what?

Why don't we just ease into this.

Let-Let's go for a walk

and-and-and see if we find a new restaurant.

Any chance that restaurant is near Griffith Park?

No.

All right.

Raj and Howard are at Howard's mom's,

but should we call the girls and see if they want to come?

No. Bernadette's working late.

Amy's sick.

Aw. What's wrong with her?

Well, she talks a lot.

She always wants to hold hands.

That's not what I meant.

Well, if you were referring to her illness

your question should have been, "What ails her?"

"What ails her?"

Oh. Who knows?

Come on, anything can happen.

We can push him down the stairs!

Hey. Thanks for coming to hang out.

No problem. How's your mom feeling?

Okay, but she'd feel better if she took her medicine.

You know, when Cinnamon won't take her medicine,

I hide it in a piece of cheese.

Good idea. We can wrap the pill in cheese,

feed it to Cinnamon,

and then my mom can eat Cinnamon.

What do you feel like doing?

I was thinking we could watch a DVD.

Well,

my mom doesn't have a lot to choose from.

Unless you want to watch the video of her colonoscopy.

20 minutes in,

they find a prune pit.

Actually, how do you feel about watching House of 1000 Corpses?

A straight-up gore-fest?

You hate this stuff.

I do, but for some reason, Emily loves it

and wants to watch it with me tomorrow, so...

I thought if I start with you first,

then I could act cool about it with her.

That's actually not a bad plan.

I can sit through the colonoscopy now,

but that first time I was like,

"Oh, My God, a prune pit!"

Uh, so... you'd watch it?

Sure.

You're a good friend. I owe you one.

Howard!

Help me get out of the tub!

Not that one.

So, we're just randomly choosing a restaurant

without researching it online?

Yep.

Great.

You know, this is how Anything Can Happen Thursday turns into.

It Won't Stop Coming Up Friday.

Hey, how about that Asian fusion place?

Fusion and Asians?

I'm trying not to think about science.

What the hell?

What...?

She's not working late!

And Amy doesn't look sick.

Why would they lie to us?

That's a good question.

Amy and Bernadette.

Amy and Bernadette.

Amy and Bernadette.

Why did you lie to us?!

Hey. Listen to this:

"Murder... cannibalism

"and satanic rituals

"are just a few

of the thousand plus horrors that await."

I just helped my mom out of the tub,

so, I'm one slippery horror ahead of you.

You're a good son.

I don't know how you do it.

Beach blankets, my friend.

It's all about beach blankets.

All right, let's get this over with.

Ew, it's got someone's hair on it!

Oh, yeah, you're gonna do great with this movie.

You're not working late. Why did you lie to me?

And Amy, you told me you were sick,

but you look just as pale and tired as always.

I'm sorry. I just needed a break

from hearing you obsess about what to do after string theory.

And we kind of just wanted one night

where we didn't have to hear about how miserable you are

making this movie.

But none of that means we don't love you.

I haven't been complaining that much about the movie.

Have I?

I also love you.

You know what?

Maybe I need a break from all of you.

Come on, Sheldon.

Where are we going?

We're gonna have Anything Can Happen Thursday, you're gonna

tell me all about your science stuff and I'm gonna complain

about my movie, and we're gonna support each other because

that's what friends do.

Okay.

'Cause if I had to pick now,

I'd probably go with dark matter because...

Shut up.

What's wrong?

I don't understand my food.

Chinese noodles with Korean barbecue...

in a taco.

It's fusion.

Well, my mother would lock her car doors

if she had to drive through this hodgepodge of ethnicity.

Think I've been complaining too much about the movie?

Not at all.

Thank you.

But to be fair, when you talk, most of what you say

sounds like, "Wah, wah, wah, clothes".

Hey, I don't understand why you're not upset with Amy.

I am. So much so that I'm gonna bring her here

for dinner on our next date night.

Okay.

So, in the last 20 minutes,

we've seen a crazy woman kissing a fetus in a jar.

We've seen a guy cut in half and sewn to a fish.

And the brutal dismemberment of a rotisserie chicken

by my mother.

On the bright side, she didn't even notice the pill.

Why does Emily like this stuff?

Do you think there's something psychologically wrong with her?

What difference does it make? What do you mean?

Oh, come on... she could have a freezer full of