Harley Quinn

- -

Thank you for flying Apollonian Airlines.

We are beginning our final descent into Themyscira.

Please make sure your baggage is properly stowed.

A friendly reminder that any man who dares

enter the island will be killed on arrival.

- Ah! - Enjoy your visit.

Here's your crown, here's your sash.

Here's a reusable penis straw made of recycled metals,

and its cleaning wand and a carrying pouch.

Look at you, makin' your list, checkin' it twice.

You only get bachelorette weekend-ed once!

I'm gonna check on the other girls.

Mrs. Freeze in da house!

You ready for the best weekend of your life?

Don't waste your breath.

I know I'm just a pity invite because you killed my husband.

Technically he killed himself.

But you still came.

That means you're open to having a good time.

Well, not really.

But I've never been to an all-female island before.

Seems like it'll be great for crying.

Hey, Jen!

It's Jennifer.

Ah, so glad you could make it from Michigan.

Must be hard leaving your four kids.

Would've been easier if I was the maid of honor.

You know, Ivy and I went to kindergarten together

and we always said we'd be each other's maids of honor.

- -So cool.

So special.

Wow, gross, that must happen a lot.

Ah.

-This is free, right? -Yep, cheers.

Ugh. Why did I

pay for first class if you're just gonna

-burst in here. -The curtain's invisible.

I'm just makin' sure you have everything you need.

Can I show you how to wash your reusable straw?

You have two minutes until my Ambien kicks in.

But we're about to land.

Mmm-hmm, I'm trying to catnap through

as much of this weekend as possible.

Everyone's ready to party!

I'm so excited for you to marry Kite Man.

Me, too. I mean, I love him, you know.

And I love him!

Ugh! I mean, if you didn't marry Kite Man, I would!

-Oh, okay. -Yeah, 1,000%.

I'm gonna set you up for the best marriage ever

by making your bachelorette party

the best weekend of your life!

- -

Wow. This is

the most beautiful place I've ever seen.

Themyscira Resort works with the natural landscape.

It's so you.

Okay! We're here.

Everyone out of the invisible van!

Harley! I'm Eris, the resort manager.

We spoke on the phone.

I hope you ladies are ready for the VIP treatment.

This all feels like oddly corporate

for the Amazons.

I mean, they don't seem like the type

to offer soap concierge.

Oh, Svetlana knows her suds.

The economy has been booming since Wonder Woman disappeared,

and Queen Hippolyta brought me on

to keep that momentum going.

Hope and Mercy here will escort you to your suites.

Take lots of pics and don't forget to tag us.

Itineraries are in your rooms.

Everyone meet in the lobby in 20 for our spa treatments.

I have never seen you with a clipboard.

I mean, I'm... I'm like impressed with it,

but it's also kinda freaking me out.

It's all for you, Poison Bridey.

How excited are you to party with all your besties?

Uh, look, I know this isn't like a friend group

so much as, like, a disparate collection of strange women

I glommed on to during the most

difficult stages of my life, so...

You deserve a fun girls' trip.

And so do they.

I already took the safe out of Catwoman's room,

I had Mrs. Freeze's AC turned way up,

and I know Jen doesn't like fish, so--

I said don't call me Jen.

Harley, you have obviously put

a lot of planning into this trip,

which just doesn't seem like you.

Is everything okay?

Of course it is.

I'm the maid of honor to the hottest bride on Earth.

Thanks. For everything.

I'm truly embarrassed for you.

-What? -This whole

sweaty maid of honor routine,

too many thoughtful details.

You two hooked up.

What? No! Me? Her? No, never.

Stop denying it.

Fine, yes! We kissed. Okay?

Feels so great to say that out loud.

It's really been weighing on me.

Thanks for saying something. I really need a confidante.

I am not here to support you.

I do not want to talk about this again.

Sure, sure, I may have feelings,

but I'm not gonna act on them. I mean,

neither of us wants that. They'll fade over time.

That's what feelings are known for doing.

Neither of us wants that!

Why don't you say it one more time to be sure?

Oh! I have almost finished the border.

Hey! That's part of the other cloud.

Do not force puzzle pieces.

Look at the cover of the fucking box.

King, what are you doing in the cabin?

I thought the open sea was your home.

It was my home,

but I left for unspecified reasons,

the origins of which

I choose not to get into right now.

Well, hey, this is a bachelor party.

The Wi-Fi's a little slow,

but I think I have some tunes downloaded on my phone here.

No.

Just the score to Big Momma's House 2.

Heavens to Betsy.

A rogue lobster just scuttled aboard.

Oh, no!

Oh, no, no, no! I'm not ready for this.

Nanaue! I have searched the seven seas for you.

No! No, no, no!

It's a talking lobster.

Have you ever seen anything as crazy as a lobster talking?

Who is this Nanaue?

King, you okay? Do you owe this lobster money?

I wish that's all I owed him.

I told you guys I didn't want to leave the marina.

I and I been looking for you for months.

Your father needs you.

The Hammerheads, they won't sign the trade deal.

If the Federation crumbles, it will start a war.

You must come home and marry Tabitha,

for the safety and livelihood of your entire kingdom.

What about what I want?

What are you saying?

You are Nanaue.

Is this an elaborate prelude to mermaid strippers?

I said I did not want strippers.

No.

My father is king of the Shark Kingdom

and I was heir to the throne,

but I didn't want an arranged marriage.

So I ran.

And now it's time for you to shark up.

-Come, quickly! -He's with us now.

So you can go back to Shark Kingdom.

You should listen to the lobster.

I'll come with you, Samson,

but only to tell off my father once and for all.

Don't finish the puzzle without me, guys.

It would be a betrayal.

That was weird.

How was your snorkeling lesson, Mrs. Freeze?

I'm starving.

When's our table gonna be ready?

Ugh. These patio heaters don't work.

Ugh. Small talk makes me claustrophobic.

Tell Ivy I said happy--

Listen up, you picky bitches!

This weekend isn't about what you want to do

or not do!

Get off it, Harley. You suck at this.

Fuck you, Jennifer!

This is about having the time of our lives

to prove to Ivy that we are excited

-for her marriage! -

So, when our bride comes back from changing her tampon,

you better participate,

you better smile, and you better start drinking

like your life depends on it!

-I don't drink. -I don't care!

This vegan golden apple pate is divine.

I don't miss the meat.

Me too, totally the best.

I haven't even thought about my dead husband once.

Only my happiness for Ivy.

Yay. Cheers to Ivy.

And to Harley,

for making this whole weekend possible, I guess.

To having fun on our girls' trip.

Wow. Every one of my awful friends are having fun.

You have done the impossible.

Oh, can you toast again for the camera?

I want to post it to our sosh meed.