Hung

Oh jeez.

Ugh. What? I'm sleeping, Ray.

I need to talk to you. Buzz me in.

I'm naked.

I've already seen you naked. Come on.

Well, I've got company.

Come on, Ray!

It's the ass crack of dawn. I'm not a marine.

- Talk from there. - I don't wanna talk from here.

- I can't even see you. - Well, I can see you.

So if you've got something to say, say it.

I'm all ears.

Fine. Stay away from my wife.

You don't have a wife.

You know what I'm talking about, lenore.

Oh, you mean your ex-wife Jessica?

The married woman you secretly go bowling with?

Yeah, her. Stay away from her, okay?

Are you giving me an ultimatum, Ray?

I'm Jessica's friend.

I'm trying to save her from becoming a sad two-time divorcée.

What about you, Ray?

What are you thinking about when you're off hugging her

In a bowling alley parking lot?

Are you thinking about saving her marriage too,

Or are you trying to destroy it?

By the way, I have a new client for you

Tomorrow night, Tuesday.

Will you be free, or will you be too busy

Bowling with your ex-wife?

All right, when I say something, you say it back.

So I say, "you can't fuck me," right?

So then you say... repeat it back to me.

Like, "you can't fuck me because I don't want you to."

You owe us two months' rent.

You think you might have it soon?

Hold on, I just... hold that thought.

I don't know who this is.

Why haven't you picked up your phone?

- We need to talk. - Uh, Ray...

- Hi. - Ray, this is Mr. And Mrs. Sumbal.

They're my very kind, generous

And very patient landlords.

Listen, Tanya, I have a problem with lenore.

- What? What kind of problem? - Well, I, uh...

You know, I have a very bad feeling about her.

You know, she has a lot of our personal information

And I don't trust her.

You know, I... to tell you the truth,

I don't like the way she treats you.

Uh, would you like some olives?

My husband says we might

Have to charge you a $50 late fee.

The thing is I... I don't have it.

I don't have it. I'm $300 short, you know?

What do you want from me? I've lived here 15 years.

And remember when the rat was in the dryer?

Did I complain? I didn't. I'm not complaining now.

I just... we have a good relationship.

I just need to talk to my friend. Hold on one second.

Maybe you're right. Maybe we're better off without her.

Uh, okay, why are you saying this?

Did something happen?

- No. - No? All right, well then...

Ray, I just... you know what?

- I just don't think you're being very professional. - Huh?

You can't just have a bad feeling

And let go of our business partner right now.

Why not?

Because, Ray, it all comes down to the clients.

All right? That's the clients and the money.

If I can't come up with the clients,

Then you're gonna go running back to lenore

The second she shows up with new ones.

- You know that. - That's what I'm asking you.

Can you get them without her?

Yes, Ray. Yes. Okay?

I will book that wealthy widow frances, Ray.

I think of her like moby-dick

And I'm ahab, except successful.

You've read "moby-dick," right?

Mm-hmm.

Oh! Hi.

Want me to scrub you?

Thanks, honey. I'm clean.

- You okay, Ron? - Yeah, I'm better than okay.

I'm hopeful and I love you

And I've been thinking about our talk.

- Which talk? - About the baby. No pressure.

We don't have to talk about that right now.

I was just thinking of my family.

- You mean you and me and the kids? - Yeah.

And the ones who came before us, like my grandfather.

People said he had the perfect nose.

Are you sure you're okay, Ron?

There's no face problems in my family, Jess.

No Alzheimer's, no celiac disease,

No klinefelter's syndrome, no tay-sachs...

- Ron, you're talking about the baby again. - Yes.

Jess, I'm talking about the baby again because I want a baby.

I want to pass on that tradition.

I am 42 years old, Ron.

I'm not having a baby with you.

I went to medical school. I am not a drug addict.

I've never been incarcerated.

I am a good man from a good family

In a good neighborhood and I'm hungry!

I am in my kitchen, searching for my oatmeal

That I purchased with the money I made

With the job that I still have

In this crumbling fucking economy

Because I want breakfast!

I want my fucking oatmeal!

I want my cinnamon fucking oatmeal!

This is not what I signed up for!

This is not the life of my dreams!

Mr. Landy told you this?

Mr. Landy the security guard?

I'm sorry, Ray.

He said it was Damon?

It was him, Ray, your son,

Taking a leak on home plate.

He pissed on home plate, Tanya.

- 2:00 in the morning. - Yeah.

All alone.

He walks down to the diamond,

Unzipped his fly and just let loose.

I think I can see what he was going for.

- You can see what he was going for? - Come on, Ray.

You know, the plate of home? A place called home?

He was releasing his anger in a nonviolent way.

He was releasing, all right. I don't know about anger.

I'm just saying he might be an artist.

He didn't paint, Tanya. He peed.

All right, maybe he needs a role model.

Yeah, that would be me. You know, I'm his dad.

Fine, but maybe he needs someone else to look up to,

Like a... like a fellow traveler, you know?

Someone who shares his interests.

Wait, I got an idea.

Here, just... just bring him to this.

"slam bam poetry slam."

"sam... " "slam bam poetry jam."

No thanks.

Ray, you can't just throw stuff off the skywalk.

I can get it. Wait, hold on.

See, it's right...

Oh God!

What are you doing?

- Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine, Ray.

- What happened? - This is stupid.

Come on, let's go. I'm fine.

You know, ray, I'm making a serious suggestion.

I think poetry might really speak to Damon.

Great, maybe my son's a good rhymer.

No offense, but I don't think a bunch of beret-wearing strangers

Is what my kid needs right now.

Okay, shh. There... there she is.

- Where? - 2:00.

She's eating a chicken bowl in an $800 shirt.

Don't... don't look at her though. Look at me.

- What? Why? - Because...

She wants to look at you.

- She does? - Yeah.

What... what...

- I thought... - What?

- I thought I was supposed to meet her. - No no no no.

She likes to do things a step at a time.

So this time

She'll just take a look from afar.

All right.

I don't know what she can tell from over there.

That you're reasonably good-looking

And not dangerous.

Okay, that's it.

- That's it? - That's it.

I came all this way just for that?

This is moby-dick, Ray. Trust me, she's worth it.

I'm sorry.

You really need oatmeal that bad?

Mother.

Jess,

I've loved you since the 10th grade,

Since that math class you ignored me in,

Since before you even knew I was alive.

I told you I didn't want to have babies because I was scared.

I was afraid you wouldn't marry me if I told you the truth, but...

I want to be on the inside, Jess.

I love you more than life itself.

I love you too, Ron.

I want you to be on the inside too.

Thank you.

Today's the happiest day of my life.

I'm gonna be a father!

Anything you want to tell me?

- Like what? - I don't know.

But if there is anything you want to say,

You can tell me.

I'm your dad. I love you.

U know, my dad... he had this extra business