Leaving Normal

(GIRL HUMMING TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR)

Fine. Be like this. There's no work here.

We've only been here a week. Have you even tried?

When I say there's no work here, there's no work!

There was no work in California! California sucks!

Well, Idaho sucks! Nevada sucks!

Hey, shut up. It all sucks!

Why do we ever go anywhere?

Why don't we just live in the goddamn van?

Look, I want to go to Florida.

Florida? Last week it was Montana.

Yeah, well, it's too cold in Montana.

I thought you wanted seasons!

Hey, if you're staying here, you're staying alone.

Oh, great! Like you could last a fucking hour without me.

Hey, shut up and get the kids in the car.

Shut up and get off your ass!

We're out of here.

I don't want to go anywhere else. I want to stop someplace.

I don't want to hear about it. Just get your stuff together.

No! No! I want to stop someplace.

Come on, Marianne, let's go.

Don't worry, Emily. Everything's gonna work out fine.

I know it is.

Please leave me alone, Marianne.

I know it is.

I know it is!

I know it is!

Greyhound, American cruiser. Next stop will be Chicago

with continuing service to Davenport, Des Moines,

Omaha, Lincoln, North Platte, Oglala and Cheyenne.

I never would've expected ending up anyplace called Normal

or even falling for a guy like Kurt.

But I really think I made the right choice this time.

Like, people think he's "Mr. Strong Guy," you know.

But he's not. He's actually...

He's really...sad.

And it's other things too, besides, like, um, you know, his sense of humor, you know?

Like, I think it's unusual you know when you meet somebody and...

And they just...

I don't know, they just really make you smile, you know.

And sometimes you aren't even sure why,

or have you ever wanted to like, go someplace or do something,

something really big,

-something like get married? -Oh!

And then the next thing you know, you just find yourself doing it?

-Well, I don't know. -No.

I don't think I'd do anything like that.

No.

Hey, Marianne, it looks like your suitcase exploded in here.

Where'd you put my damn bolo tie?

I put it in the bottom left-hand drawer.

Huh! Hey, Kurt!

You've got your gloves in with the glasses.

I mean, I like the "alphabeticalness" of it and everything.

As a matter of fact, we could just make this the "G" shelf.

I could put glasses and gloves

and get grapes from the fridge and a gallon of goo.

What are you doing with my shit?

Oh, um, well, I thought it needed a bath, so I took it out,

and gave it a walk and I thought I'd bathe it...

Oh!

What the hell are you yapping about? You got any idea what time it is?

I mean, they're gonna be here at eight.

Besides, shit's just shit. It...

You don't need to change anything.

Look, I'm, uh...

I'm sorry. I...

I just thought things were gonna be different when you got here, that's all.

I don't know. Maybe I was just...

Dreaming or something, I don't know.

Look, I'm apologizing here!

It's not like that's a real easy thing for me to do.

I know, I know. I'm... I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Oh, also, uh...

"Flan?"

Huh?

F-L-A-N. Flan.

Last week, uh, Lloyd Markham, the man I work for,

he mentioned he liked it.

I thought...

I... I don't know what that is.

Sorry.

Marianne?

Marianne, where'd you put the checks?

Marianne?

Marianne!

God damn it, Marianne, where the hell are you?

Marianne!

(WHISTLES) Okay, listen up.

All you needle dicks can just kiss my ass

because my ship has finally come in.

And I'm sailing the fuck outta here!

Darly, come.

Danny, you gotta know by now,

it's gonna take more than two fingers to make me come.

Oh, man, I'm in a good mood, I'm telling you!

You better watch out.

Oh, Ellen, Ellen!

Hang on one second, okay? I got something for you.

Just... Just one second, okay?

Um...

Look, um...

I know this is, yeah, it's kinda weird, but, um...

I figured that I'd say I'm sorry, you know.

That thing with Carl,

I should have known better.

Anyways, I brought you something.

I figured, you know, what the hell?

I'm leaving, I may as well, uh, I don't know, seal the cracks or something.

Here. Look at it.

Oh!

I got it a long time ago.

It's, uh, it's an Eskimo thing.

It's a bone carving, a whale bone, I don't know.

Well, they, they do that sort of thing there. They carve bones, you know.

Save it, Darly. I don't need anything to remember you by.

I don't need anything to remember you by.

They're closing.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

-Well, Alec. -Darly.

-It's been real. -See you, Carol.

Oh. Wait, Darly, dance with me.

God damn it, Danny, you know I don't dance.

I'm sure as hell not going to start now!

Darly, I don't feel so good.

All right, come on.

Ooh, nice buns.

Danny, a week from now, these nice buns will be toasting by a warm fire

in a little house in goddamn fucking Alaska!

Hey, Charlie.

Danny, this is Charlie.

-Charlie. -Danny.

-Nice to meet ya. -Adiós, amigos.

Adiós, shithole! (LAUGHS)

If you're waiting for the brown line to Cresske, you got about, oh, seven hours or so.

You okay?

You lost or something?

Aw, it's probably something personal, right?

Probably none of my business.

Yeah, I guess so.

I don't know.

So what is it?

Dog die? Huh?

Cat?

A guy perhaps?

That's wishful thinking.

You make a mistake?

I don't care how much pain the guy's in,

I mean, why does that mean you gotta take all the shit for it?

Yeah, I know, but what I'm saying is...

Besides, I thought flan was something you coughed up when you were sick.

You know like...

No, that's phlegm. Flan's a Mexican...

Marianne, I'm kidding.

-Oh! I get it. -Yeah.

This is really nice of you to do this. I don't know what I would have done...

Nah, it's fine!

I figured 15 cents per mile, plus gas, plus depreciation, plus...

I'm kidding.

Oh, oh!

Well, you know, if you want to,

I understand 'cause it's a long way out of your way...

No, no, no.

Seriously, I mean, what's 800, 900 miles among strangers?

612 actually.

Portland's 612 miles out of your way.

Gee, I'm gonna need to be a little more specific on that one.

Oh. (LAUGHS)

Well, you see, my sister,

I told her I was gonna be there by five tomorrow.

Well, I... It's really silly, but I do this thing.

It's called triangulate the vectors.

See, where you, um...

Well, in fact, If you like, I can help you triangulate your trip to Alaska.

-I could help you... -Hey, I do my own triangulatin', okay?

Really?

Oh! You're kidding.

So basically,

it had gotten to the point where I had one friend left in the whole world, right?

So I made the wise, healthy choice to go and screw her husband.

Twice.

A week.

For four months.

Then as reward for my good behavior,

I got some good news.

I did. Somebody died.

Anyway, I finally got my house back.

"Native Alaskan land settlement, 1973."

Yeah, back then they were letting Native Alaskans buy shitty land cheap.

I know, don't laugh. I'm part Eskimo.

It's my grandfather on my mom's side.

Oscar Tauq. T-A-U-Q.

Anyways, we ended up with a couple of acres, started a house, but...

You ran out of money?

Well, let's just say I ran out.

But Joe kept it. Finished it.