Hacked: A Double Entendre of Rage Fueled Karma

No, no, no. Not the blowtorch again.

Not the blowtorch again. Oh, my ear!

That really burns!

No! No, no, no, no, no!

That tattoo took like seven days, bro!

No!

No, no!

No, not my pinky toe!

No, no, that's my nipple!

No!

Okie-dokie. This movie requires a little bit of context.

That's me. My name is Shane.

Wait, no, no, no!

And that is my beautiful wife, Emily.

So we did what any normal human would do.

And we made an entire movie with our best friends

and had as much fun as humanly possible.

Our therapist told us that this is a healthy coping mechanism.

They have not seen this movie.

Ralph, get off!

He still thinks he's like two.

- Po-po-pow! - -Congratulations to our boy.

There we go.

I'm out. I have nothing.

Nothing left.

Does anyone have a lighter?

You guys liked the food?

And you're gonna pay for it?

...ding dong dishing?

Wait, no, not d-- a dining dish.

Let's get out of here!

We're committing felonies.

A bunch of people died.

No, no, no, no, no.

That's the Indian burial house.

I told you, don't put them in that house.

What? Oh, you didn't say they were foreign.

I'll rubber stamp it. I forgot. I really don't care.

So... Sorry about that.

Mark the sound guy, Amy the event planner.

I'm willing to bet you guys have loud and eventful sex.

Looks like we are pretty much good to go here.

Sorry, pretty much?

Well, looks bad that you guys both lost

your jobs during the pandemic. Yeesh.

Yeah, well, with COVID, anyone in entertainment

-hit a brick wall so it's-- -Mm-hmm.

Like exotic dancers and escorts.

I was thinking of our jobs, but sure, yeah.

Yeah, you were thinking of yourself.

I was thinking exotic dancers and escorts.

- Okay. - Congratulations on being

almost first-time homeowners.

Yay.

-Hooray. -Oh, my God.

-We seriously cannot wait. Um, so it is time -Okay.

for you to help us send the down payment. I have

-paperwork for you. -Yeah, we've never sent a...

You should be waiting an email from, um--

- from somebody in our office. - No--

Isn't that why you're here?

-Don't we just wire the money now since you're here? -No, go ahead.

This is important. This is chill,

-but what's happening here is important. -Is he--

Marshall, I feel like I don't have your full attention.

Yeah, I, uh-- yeah, I'm here. I'm for you.

We just keep getting emails from you, and then half the time it's from Roger.

-Or Brandon. Or Sarah. And it's really confusing. -And you never CC Mark...

-It's just killing my type A organizational brain. -Yeah.

Yeah, I wanna acknowledge

what you're both saying, and to be honest,

it's 'cause we're beyond shitty at our jobs.

All of us. We suck.

We're worthless.

Wait, that's too mean-spirited.

Yeah, I'm also getting floored mentally by the pandemic,

and I have no time for self-care.

I'm consuming a lot of content about cephalopods,

anything that has tentacles,

- I'm big into. - - Yeah, that's more like it.

Well, I am so glad I insisted on doing this in person.

Really, really special, and so rare these days.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right, cool.

Yeah, they're in.

So that's it? He's gone?

- Get him! Get him! - Come on! No!

It's two against one, not fair!

There he is! He's pinned. Let's get him.

-Hey, get Deadbolt ready. -Okay.

Not again! Come on!

Let's do a combined power-up. One, two, three.

Come on!

Die, you filthy dick!

Six feet under, bro!

Too slow, you actually dropped dead, Fred.

I'm gonna kill you!

Oh, you're gonna kill us?

-Do you swear? -Do you swear under oath?

Because the last time I checked, I--

I think we just killed you again.

You need way better gear.

Deadbolt is by far the best axe in the game.

Yeah, but the only way to get Deadbolt is if you have

like 15 hours a day to play the game.

Yeah. It's the one item you can't buy.

You have to actually earn it by being good at the game.

I'm level 74!

You obviously bought your account.

You're not actually 74.

Who let you play this game?

Is it those silly gooses down at the Make-A-Wish Foundation?

Hey, no. No, no, no, no. Hey, we're gonna go again, alright?

What are you saying? I think you're glitching out. I--

- I just-- I can't hear your whining over your mom's moaning.

I bet your lap smells like piss because

your micropenis aim is so bad.

Go buy a better account, you punk-ass biatch!

Hey, come say that to my face, you little shit!

Ralph, we went too far. Listen, I apologize

for everything we said. We do have to go.

We're gonna go play some burn victims with no hands,

so there's more of a challenge.

Hey, if you boot me from the server,

it'll be the biggest mistake of your lives.

Oh, I'm gonna find your IP address.

I'll find out where you live. I--

Bitch.

Okay.

You've brought this upon yourselves.

It's time to find out where you live.

I just got an email that you two are weeks behind on homework,

skipping class, failing tests.

How are you failing online school?

Uh-- 'cause it's pointless.

Dad, we learn more watching murder documentaries

than anything Obesemus Fatson's

gonna teach us on Zoom from her bed.

Okay, so as liquid it means death,

but as air it means we can knock someone out.

This is the shit they should be teaching in school.

No, you're right. It's like a step-by-step on how to get away

with kidnapping and killing someone.

- Yeah! - Let's go!

The smart ones bring down the house at the end.

Fire solves everything.

Okay. If you want to make it in the world,

in the real world,

you have got to get your hands dirty. Okay?

You can't keep spending all day watching TV,

-playing Thunder Siege, making your weird videos. -Okay.

We have 20k followers.

I claim this car for mine!

What are you doing?

-What the hell? -Freddy, what are you? Freddy--

Hey, what are you guys doing? Hey!

I'm sorry, brother.

Brother. Being stabbed hurts.

I loved thee, brother!

I mean, you did-- You did stab me!

I just did it to kill you. I-- I'm sorry.

Quite frankly, I don't know how you accidentally stab somebody.

Cough! Cough! Dramatic!

-This is it, brother. -Brother, I'm so sorry.

Do not let mom and dad go through my search history

or the top left drawer of my dresser.

No! No! No!

We've gone viral like three times.

And that's supposed to, um, support your argument?

Well, we're not asking you to understand it.

'Cause you guys are old as shit.

We just want you to respect it.

Dad, you make videos for a living.

Let's go ahead and see where it got us.

Unemployment ran out, we lost our health insurance,

and we had to sell Prism Pal vacuums

during the pandemic just to provide for you.

So y'all like chocolate milk?

Oh, yeah. God bless. I put vodka in mine.

-Amen. -Taste like a little milkshake.

I was being sarcastic. This jug is filled with

poo, dirt, hair--

I'd drink it for five bucks.

-He will, too! -I will do it.

- He packs, and he loves bets. - The whole thing.

And if I throw up, it still counts.

-Can we get the good cup? -Get the good cup.

-Watch out, girl. -We're going-- We're going--

-Don't spill any. -Oh, I heard a splash.

- You-- You're being serious. - -You're gonna make a sale today, all right.

-Does it clean up blood? -I'm sorry, sir?

Does that clean up blood?

Does it c-- Yes. Yes.

With the Breathing Happy Cleaning Solution,

Prism Pal gets 99.9% of all

-airborne and contact bacteria. -Mama, mama!

Hush, Willie Mae. God likes a quiet woman.

Can I go in the backyard and use my gun?

Maybe after supper.