Paper Marriage

One, two...

Jeff...

One, two, three. Cheese!

-Cheese. -Cheese.

Yay.

Ah.

I'm -- I'm sorry. I don't understand.

I thought you said you do.

Uh, I speak Cantonese.

-Mm. -A little bit.

Is that a problem?

-Nice place. -Oh, uh, thank you.

Um...

-Is it two bathrooms or one? -

Sorry. Um, I'll be right back.

-Here's some tea. -Oh. Thank you.

-That went okay, right? -Yeah, I think so.

-Is she rich or something? -Why?

I don't know. Just, like, paying somebody to marry you.

That's kind of wild. You know?

Do you think you can do this?

Yeah.

Um, so, all right, so just to clarify,

the -- the pay is...

A thousand a month.

Okay.

Yeah, cool.

Um...

Um, just take it seriously.

You know?

Yeah. I mean...

Yeah, I mean, um...

Yeah, this is gonna be fun.

Okay.

I would love to take over that project

if it's possible.

I've been just a little stressed out

because of some family stuff, but...

- -No, I can do it.

I can do it. You can trust me.

- -Wait.

-Yeah, um... -

Look, I want to see it myself.

before you change anything.

I'm going to take a look at it.

No, yeah, I got it.

Okay. Um...

Yeah, okay. Bye.

-Hi. -Hi.

Um, do you need help?

Oh, no. This is -- This is all I got today, so...

Okay, um, you can -- you can take a seat if you want.

-Okay. -Right.

Do you want me to turn on the AC?

Oh, no, I'm okay.

-Are you sure? -Yeah.

Well, let's just discuss the details.

Um...

So, here...

Here are your keys.

And, um...

Um, here is the...

So I was thinking that we can practice

our immigration questions on Thursday and Saturday nights.

It's just those are the best days for me.

Are you sure you don't want me to...

You're, like, just sweating a lot.

Oh, um, yeah, that would be great.

What temperature do you like?

Uh, 70?

73 okay?

-Sure. -

So this is your room.

- -Sorry.

Um, so I need to call my office.

You can stay if you want.

Oh. No, I should get going. Yeah.

-Okay. Yeah. -But thank you.

-Um... -Do you...

No, I mean...

Um...

See you later.

You know what? I'm gonna get some Indian food.

Can I get you something?

I wanted to make a sandwich, but I...

Is that my bread?

-Yeah, sorry. -It's fine.

Oh! -

Oh, f...

Sorry.

I can get you something like naan or tikka masala.

Closest grocery store to our house.

Giant.

Um, I think the Harris Teeter might be closer.

That's the one I go to.

On Google Map it says it's Giant.

I think we should just say Giant for now.

-Okay. Sure. -Mm-hmm. Okay.

On birthday, mine is...

-June 29th. -Right.

-And yours is January 7. -Mm-hmm.

Right.

You know what? I think we got those.

We should move on.

No, I think we need to make sure we memorize

all this information.

You don't think we have.

We've been doing this one for a while.

- Sure, yeah. -Sorry. I mean, we can...

I mean...

No, if you want to we can move on to a new one.

I mean, we can keep doing these.

-It's up to you. -Okay.

Let's see.

Uh, what's your favorite color?

Mine is black.

-Wait, black? -Mm-hmm.

Black.

Why black?

It's a color, Jeff.

I know, but, like, why is it your favorite color?

Well, I don't really have any deep reasons for it.

Well, I mean, it doesn't have to be like a deep reason,

but I'm just, like, curious, like, why do you like black?

-Why does... -Can we move on from this now?

It's fine. I mean, we can move on.

Okay.

What's up?

"What color underwear does your spouse wear?"

I guess if we were intimate, we'd know that.

I meant like -- sorry, like a real husband or wife

would know about each other, right.

I know what you mean.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Jeffrey. Are you busy?

No, I'm just at home right now.

Is your new roommate home too?

No, she's at work.

She? Your roommate is a girl?

Um, no.

Sorry, I don't -- I don't know why I said that.

It's actually some guy I met on the Internet.

Okay. Is everything all right with you?

No, yeah, I'm okay.

Are you working right now?

Um, no, I'm not working right now, but hopefully soon.

Okay. You don't need money or anything?

Um...

You know, I'm actually doing all right right now.

I-I should be good, so... But thanks.

Just let us know if you need anything.

Your mom's kind of worried about you.

She said you left a box from Crystal in your room.

Wait, what?

-You left a -- -Dad, uh...

Can I -- Can I call you later?

I got to go, um...

...work out.

Okay. Talk to you later.

-Okay. -Bye.

Okay. Bye.

-Hi. Hi.

Sorry, I'm not sure I have the right place.

Does Fanny Li live here?

Oh, shit. Um, yeah, sorry, sir.

Come on in.

Um, yeah, sorry.

I didn't know you guys came to check in on us.

Like, I can give her a call and she'll be like right here.

Check in?

-Like USCIS. -"U" what?

No, sorry. I-I'm just a friend.

I was just coming by to say hello.

I didn't want to make things weird.

No, no, no, no, no. Sorry. Sorry.

I thought you were somebody else.

Um, yeah.

It's okay. I'll -- I'll just text her.

Okay. I'll let her know you came also.

Yeah, cool. Thanks.

-Your name? -Liam.

-Liam. Okay. -Cool.

Bye.

All right.

The closest grocery store to our house is Giant now.

We have a gas stove and one TV at home.

Jeff?

I'm going out tonight so maybe we can meet earlier.

Jeff?

We met in Decem--

November.

Yeah.

Then...

-Favorite color is black. -Hey, bro!

You want to play with us?

Um, you know, I was just gonna shoot around today.

We could use one more.

I haven't played pickup in a while.

It's just one game, dude. Come on.

All right. You guys just need one?