Welcome to the Dollhouse

Can I sit here?

If you feel like it.

Someone barfed there, fourth period.

Hi, Dawn. Sorry to bother you.

We were just wondering, are you a lesbian?

-Well, are you? -No.

Liar.

She made a pass at me.

Lesbo, lesbo, lesbo.

You little faggot!

Fucking faggot. You're a faggot, aren't you?

- Aren't you? - No.

- "I'm a faggot." Admit it. - No.

"I'm a faggot."

You look beautiful in this suit, Troy.

-Get over here. -Don't you?

You fucking faggot. You're a faggot, aren't you, Troy boy?

- Aren't you? - No!

Admit it. Say, "I'm a faggot."

- Say it. - No!

- Say it, faggot. Say it! - No!

-I'm a faggot. -Leave him alone.

Hey, guys, watch out. It's the Wiener dog!

It's dog-face over here.

You guys are such jerks.

What's the matter, ugly? You like faggots?

Let's get out of here. Her face is killing me.

Are you all right, Troy?

Leave me alone, Wiener dog.

Hey, that didn't sound too much like "Satisfaction."

-What's the matter? -I don't know. It says B-flat.

-I'm just playing what it says. -Play me an A.

-This is bad. -We sound like shit.

I knew this band idea was gonna suck.

What does "suck" mean?

Missy, go play with Dawn.

We've gotta practice more. It's our first time.

What do you think the Stones sounded like their first time?

-Yeah. -Okay.

I'm gonna close the garage door so we can get privacy.

Okay, let's take it from the top.

One, and a two, and a one, two, three, four.

Toss-up question: spell the word "satellite."

S-A-T-E-L-L-I-T-E.

Correct. You got 20 points in that bonus.

You're not supposed to drink in the TV room.

-Drop dead, lesbo. -Riverdale has 200. Toss-up.

- London, England is located.... - Mommy, Dawn called me "lesbo."

- Hold on, Rita. - The Thames.

- Oh, Dawn. - Now, for 10 points....

Dawn, I want to speak to you right now.

- Stupid. - Purple Heart.

Correct. Name two features of the Purple Heart.

Tattletale.

- What did you call her? - She was bothering me!

I don't care. Now, are you going to apologize?

- No! - Apologize or you're punished.

- But she was bothering me! - No! That's it! Go to your room!

- She's such a little brat! - I don't want to hear it! Go!

- Little moron! - Go!

American Revolution.

That's correct. You got all 40 points.

Toss-up: what organism is the--?

- Color of the dress. - I never would have guessed.

Right. Isn't that neat?

- I love her little profile. - Let's go to the phones.

Hi, Missy. Is Dawn home?

Yeah, but she can't play. She's punished.

Stop it.

-Mrs. Grissom? -Yes, Dawn.

Brandon's trying to copy my answers.

You lie.

You were too, and you know it.

Quiet!

Dawn, Brandon, you can see me here at 3.

I'm giving you both detention.

Oh, hi.

You didn't come in here to wash your hands.

-Yes, I did. -You came in here to take a shit.

No. Really. I don't have to go.

-My hands were just dirty, that's all. -Liar.

I can smell you from here.

-Please let me go. -First...

...take a shit.

-But I'll be late for science. -Well, you're not leaving until you do.

You know, Lolita, me and my neighbor are starting this new club.

And if you want, you can be vice president.

Fuck you.

And I really wasn't the one who was cheating. I'm innocent.

I know.

You're always innocent.

And Brandon's always guilty.

-But Brandon was-- -You stay away from Brandon.

He's mine.

Got it?

-Of course, but-- -"But" shit.

Now...

...go on.

Leave it. I want to make sure you shit.

I want to see it with my own eyes.

Why do you hate me?

Because you're ugly.

Fuck you. Fuck you.

Mrs. Grissom, I'm finished.

Let me see.

Fuck you. Fuck you.

-Mrs. Grissom, can I take a retest? -No.

I know I could have done better if none of this had happened. I was nervous.

I said, no, Dawn.

But, Mrs. Grissom, I really wasn't the one who was cheating.

And if I could just redo this test, just once. Please?

I'm better than a D-minus.

Stop grade grubbing.

Don't you have any dignity?

Now, I want you to write a 100-word essay...

...on the subject of dignity...

...and hand it in to me by Friday.

You're excused.

She's got it so easy.

She'll always have it easy.

Maybe she'll die.

You don't know what it's like.

What?

Junior high.

-Do you think anyone will join our club? -I don't want anyone to join.

I wanna be popular.

I may have swung a good deal with Steve Rodgers today.

-I think we got him. -Who's Steve Rodgers?

Well, Steve Rodgers is only one of the most popular guys in class.

We get him, we'll get to play everywhere.

Sweet 16s, school dances.

Maybe even a gig on the road.

-What instrument does he play? -Guitar, a little, but mainly he sings.

But that's not the point. The point is...

...this is exactly what I needed for my college résumé.

With this substantial extracurricular activity, I'm gonna have it made.

Maybe not the Big Three, but an Ivy.

- We'll see about the SATs. - Fuck you.

Mommy, can I join Mark's band?

Oh, sweetheart. Ha-ha-ha.

I'm serious. And you should send Dawn to a reformatory.

She's always bothering me.

Honey, you don't mean that.

Dawn loves you.

Remember, no matter what she does, she's your sister.

Dawn, tell Missy that you're sorry for bothering her and that you love her.

-Dawn. -I'm not sorry.

Stop acting like a baby.

You're her older sister. And Missy loves you.

- She does not. - She does.

-Tell her that you love her. -I love you.

-You do not. -I do too.

-You do not! -Dawn!

You are not leaving until you tell your sister that you love her.

Go to bed.

Feel this, stupid doll.

Dawn is very musical.

Yeah. No, I know.

No, she's going.

Well, I told her she'll have a fabulous time.

What kid doesn't wanna go to Disney World?

Right.

Right. Yes.

"Dignity. Dignity is an important quality everyone should have."

Louder.

"That way, you will never grade grub.

Grade grubbing is bad."

I said, louder.

"Because it means you're asking for a grade you shouldn't get.

If you got it, it wouldn't be fair to everyone who didn't grade grub."

We can't hear you!

"It doesn't matter whether you're a girl or a boy, a man or a child...

...rich or poor, fat or thin.

You-- You should never be a grade grubber.

Therefore, dignity is a good quality everyone should have."

Thank you.

I am here to talk to you today...

...about the dangers of talking to strangers.

For I, Mary Ellen Moriarty, once talked to strangers.

And that is how I became the innocent victim of a brutal kidnapping.

Almost one year ago, I was a carefree teenager...

...memorizing my lines for Hello, Dolly!-- I was supposed to play Dolly.

-when one day...

...a day that I will never forget...

...I was walking home from rehearsal.

I'd missed my car pool.

And I was waiting at the street corner for the light to change.

When all of a sudden...

...a dark car pulled up beside me.

And a big man stepped out.

And he was older.

And he was good-looking.

And, um--

And he had a tattoo on his chest.

And then the next thing I know, he, um--

-So, students, I'm telling you this story-- -Aah!

Now, what exactly did you do, Dawn?