The Eighth Happiness (八星報喜)

Hi

What's matter, kid?

I'm not a kid

Help!

Miss!

- Help! - Come back!

Pretty girl!

Help!

Come back!

Help!

Come back!

Help!

Come back!

Taking liberties with my daughter in broad daylight?

Come on, sisters!

Help!

Stop, you sex maniac!

Are you alright, Miss?

I'm fine

He's a rapist! Fix him!

Go to hell!

It's not me...

No?

Mom!

Madam, you're mistaken...

You got it all wrong! It wasn't him!

Fang Jian-sheng, the Blockhead

She's gorgeous!

Miss!

What is it?

I like your airplane

I like the runway more

Shall we go to the movies?

- It's just the movies - Don't be afraid!

Don't be afraid!

Let's have tea

We'll be your friend

Class will begin, sit down!

Don't harass your classmate

He's cocky!

We'll show him

You two, please come forward

Yes, I'm talking to you

Come forward!

You have learnt the different moods

Of course, we're actors

Need you ask?

Good! Cry for us

Cry?

I can't do it without a story

Fine! I'll give you one

I'm your Father, pull on your ears

Get on your knees and cry to me

Dad, I'm sorry! Please forgive me!?

Sir

You're an idiot

Don't bother to show up again

Sir!

Disgusting!

Dad, I'm sorry! Please forgive me!

Very good! Now your turn...

Miss, please step up here

She's your Mother. Repeat what he did

Pay attention, everyone! Do it!

My Mother?

Mom, I'm sorry, I won't do it again!

Very good!

This is hilarious!

Stay there for the rest of the class!

Fellow students

An intimate scene can be tricky

Let me show you...

Hey!

What are you doing?

Return to your seat!

Good morning, Sir!

What's going on?

My name is Fang Jian-Iang

I'm also a student

I was just sharing my experience with you

Mr. Fang!

Mr. Fang!

Mr. Fang!

Mr. Fang!

Mr. Fang!

Mr. Fang!

Mr. Fang!

Mr. Fang Jian-hui is the host of

A Dish A Day

Three, two, one, cue...

We have a letter from Mrs. Chang

After seven years, her husband is having an affair

A wife should take some of the blame

If the wife is a good cook

She'll have the husband on the hook

In order to keep your husband

Make him good soup

Cut it out!

What we're recommending today

is Swallow Returns in Spring

three quails, two taels of bird's nest

One tael of angelica root

I guarantee the return

of your philandering husband

That's all for today

See you again next week

in Mainly for Women

I can smell it upstairs!

Let me try!

It's not cooked

- It's not edible? - It's only a prop

I'm counting you in for tonight

Sorry, I have a date with an air hostess

who looks like Nicole Kidman

She's been after me, I must give her a chance

Bye!

Julia Roberts

He's bragging again!

He's over 30 and doesn't have a girlfriend

Let him brag!

$1,000 please, brother dear!

Again?

You used my wife's name! That's my compensation

I have to pay to mention her name?

You're lucky

Next time, it'll cost you more

We're brothers, don't make a fuss

Fine! Let me use your car to show off

That's all you care about

You can't hold down a job

Those jobs are not respectable

That's why I'm an artiste now

How was the first class?

Fine!

What does that mean?

Fine means good

Maybe not so good!

Come back!

Come back here!

Hi there!

Stand still!

How dare you trick us!

What are you doing?

Professor!

Damn!

It stinks!

It's you, Sir!

Both of you are

in deep shit now

See me in my office!

I forgot my glasses

Help me find the way!

I don't know that way either

Left or right?

I don't know!

Read the sign!

I can't see anything!

Take a closer look

I see it now! It's a danger sign!

What happened?

Call the police!

The food is burning!

Hello?

Is Miss Honey there?

There's no honey here

But we have many darlings

Come see for yourself

This is a whore house!

Sorry, wrong number!

Better wrong than never. Come on up!

Hello?

Put the Kid on the phone

Which one? We have lots of them

Then put Baby on the phone

We have lots of them too

What place is it?

A nursery

Why didn't you tell me earlier, bitch?

You've wasted my time, maniac!

You're the maniac!

Hello?

Jesus, please

Come for mass if you believe in Him

Save the bullshit!

Jesus and I are going after the girls tonight

Lord, please forgive his sin

Sin indeed...

Where the hell is this?

Church

After Jesus and I had a good time

I'll drop by to confess!

Good night!

Dinner, Master Lang!

I'm steaming my face!

If it's Amy, tell her I'm out of town

If it's Nancy, tell her I went out

I only want to talk to Kitty

What if it's for me?

Then hurry up and hang up

I'm waiting for Kitty's call