South Park

Okay, okay, okay,

so, this guy is running for president,

and he hates immigrants, and he's basically an idiot.

Not surprisingly, this guy is from a predominantly white town

called South Park, Colorado,

- or shit heads of America, Incorporated. - I'm not sure.

Yeah, if this guy's the best their town has to offer,

can you imagine who he left behind?

Well, hey, I'm from South Park!

We don't take kindly to respecting human beings!

Y-You think South Park has a university?

Welcome to South Park University.

Please open your shotguns and slap your wives.

I live in South Park, and my IQ's so low, I gots to dig for it.

Did someone say rape?

That's the word for "clever" here in South Park.

That's not funny.

So not cool.

How does someone just rip on us like that?

I can't believe Jimmy Fallon hates us.

Jimmy Fallon loves everything.

Why would he slam our whole town?

Because, apparently, he doesn't care that his jokes

are at the expense of actual people.

Do you think it's true?

Do you think we're really bigoted, country bumpkins?

No, hey, we are not bumpkins, okay?

Kenny's a bumpkin.

Mrph rmh rm!

We don't have junked cars in our yards.

That's just your family, Kenny.

I just hope somebody finds a way to fix this.

I've called you all here because South Park has an image problem.

Thanks to Mr. Garrison,

we are now being referred to as "the shit heads of America."

One of our more politically sensitive citizens

has proposed an idea for this crisis, and I'd like you to hear him out.

Hello, everyone. I'm Randy Marsh, and I've been PC for almost two weeks now.

You know we've all been making changes

to be more socially conscious, but have we really done enough?

The truth is there's something we're lacking as a community,

and it's time we all faced it.

What this town needs...

is a Whole Foods.

What?! What?! What?! What?!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Whole Foods?!

It would instantly validate us as a town that cares about stuff!

We couldn't get a Whole Foods to open here!

And why not, huh?!

We all just don't believe we can get a Whole Foods,

because we don't believe in ourselves!

Where could it even go?!

Mayor?

I'm announcing a plan for SodoSopa,

a new urban development

that will turn the most rundown and dilapidated part of our town

into a quaint center of artisan shops and cafeés.

Lots of cities are doing this.

The area south of downtown South Park

has always been the ugly eyesore of this town.

But now SodoSopa is going to bring in the fresh, new vibrancy

that Whole Foods can't ignore.

We'll keep the existing structures,

but add brick walkways and some quaint, white lights.

A plaza in the middle will be a place where young couples

can play with their toddlers.

And it will all be small businesses, like artisan cheese shops or noodle houses.

Oh, this is really exciting.

I thought this area was just gonna stay forever.

Mrph rmh rmhmhm rm!

Who is?

So you think you keep all the existing structures?

I do. It's part of what gives a revitalized area

like this its charm that the hipsters like.

Hey, what are you people doing?

We're gentrifying. It's all good.

Okay, hold on. Everyone, listen up.

We understand that not everyone is for the town

spending money on the SodoSopa project.

We want everyone to be able to voice their concerns.

Yeah, I got concerns!

I don't want you touching my damn house!

We realize that when a rejuvenation like this

takes place, the lower-income residents fear

they'll be priced out of the area.

What lower-income residents?

Me? I work hard and provide for my family just fine!

Stewart, come on. Your house sucks.

"Bleep" you!

If you people want to turn something into

a vibrant arts district, then do it to Randy's house.

My house is nice.

Mr. McKormick, you will be living in the most vibrant part of the entire town.

SodoSopa is the future of South Park.

There'll be amazing food and incredible shops

right at your doorstep.

And we want to assure the lower-income families

that we are going to take the time to do this right.

All right, guys. Welcome to Steed.

Do we have any allergies?

No, nothing. And we want to try everything.

Wow. Can you believe this place?

Yeah. The food is unbelievable.

It's like a dream come true, Nelson.

This area is gonna put our town on the map.

I don't know what happen all my customers.

I use to have people come in here, fill every table.

Now it's like nobody wants anything to do with my authentic city food.

This town is changing so fast, you know?

This town changing so fast. Everybody want to be PC, be updated.

It's like I'm a relic...

a rost relic from another time, you know?

I don't know. Sometime, I feel like I outstayed my welcome.

That's just how I feel, you know?

Uh-huh.

It's like my accent makes people uncomfortable or something.

How a Chinese man supposed to survive in this world?

Oh, welcome to City Wok. Can I take your order, please?

Hey, Mike, what you doing, man? The guys are all meeting down at SodoSopa.

At what?

They've totally revitalized this area south of downtown.

- You got to check it out. - Oh, sweet, dude.

SodoSopa?

What the hell is a SodoSopa?!

What the "bleep"?!

Mommy, can we go eat outside?

No, we can't go eat outside.

But, mommy, they have ice cream.

We can't afford $10 ice cream, all right?

If you want nice things, then go out and get a job!

Except you won't make money,

because you just bust your ass and then barely get by,

while everyone around you gets richer!

Just face it, things are never gonna change around here.

- What's he gonna say? - Maybe they won't even answer.

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh!

Hi. Um, yes. My name is Randy Marsh,

and, um, we would like to

try and get a Whole Foods in our town.

Yes, that's right.

Uh, yes.

It's, uh, South Park, Colorado.

No, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!

It's not at all what you think!

It... yes, it's where the presidential candidate is from.

No, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!

Hold on, hold on, hold on! SodoSopa, SodoSopa!

We have a SodoSopa! The town is completely different! SodoSopa!

We have an arts and entertainment district,

cultural.

Yes. Okay.

Okay. Yes, I-I understand.

Thank you.

They said they maybe might send over a representative.

There's a certain quality to the vibe and energy

that is SodoSopa,

from the independent merchants and unique cafes

to the rustic charm of a mixed-income crowd.

Where else can you let loose your wild side

while still being a part of helping the local economy?

And now a chance to own a piece

of this most exciting area of South Park.

Announcing The Lofts at SodoSopa.

2,000-square-foot flats

that put you right in the heart of it all.

After a night out eating and shopping in SodoSopa,

just take a few steps, and you're home.

With modern styling, these lofts are sleek,

sexy, and, oh, so SodoSopa.

And for those very privileged few,

the most private and exclusive ownership opportunity is here.

Announcing The Residences at The Lofts at SodoSopa.

Now you can have access to luxury refined

while still just steps away from the action.

These finely appointed residences all feature

state-of-the-art finishes

and balconies with views of historic Kenny's house.

It's a place to laugh.

It's a place to gather,

a place to mingle with people of all economic classes.

And now it's a place to live.

SodoSopa. Welcome home.

City Wok owner: And we are going to take business back

from SodoSopa!

Oh, hello. You here for job?

Please join the others, please.

Some say I cannot survive in today's world.

But if there's one asset that the Chinese man has,

it's tactical use of child labor.

And together, child labor force,

we are going to bring SodoSopa to its knees.

This is it, people.

This is what we've all been working for.

The future of our town depends on us

being on our best behavior.

No swearing, no weirdness, and no speeches!

He's coming!

Go, go! Everyone in place!

Hello, sir.