South Park

- ? goin' down to south park gonna have myself a time ?

- ? death and sadness everywhere ?

? loneliness and degradation

- ? goin' down to south park gonna take my woes with me ?

? nightmares every night

- ? heading out to south park 'cause I cannot unwind ?

- ? I like spiders, loss, and rain! ?

- ? so I'm goin' down to south park to die ?

- So I cast my body into the trails of blood.

The knife pierces deep, deep into my lonely eyes,

So I can see this black world no more.

Whoa, that's pretty hardcore.

That's real pain right there.

- That's how I feel when my mother abuses me.

I just want to escape so she can't hurt me anymore.

Henrietta, sweetie!

Shut up, mom, go away.

- Oh, but remember daddy wanted to talk to you

In the living room, my dark little princess.

Stop calling me princess.

I'm not a beauty queen in a disney movie.

- We'll be waiting in the living room.

God, she just never stops.

- Oh, goodness, I am so nervous.

- What? - Have a seat, henrietta.

- Ooh, a little family chitchat. - Shut up, mom.

- Henrietta, as you know, your mother and I

Have been concerned about your behavior for some time.

- Are we really doing this again?

- We've had a hard time coping

With the dark things you're into,

But we've finally had some counseling.

- Apparently we're not the only parents

Who have a child that is "emo." - what?

- But daddy and I love our little muffin,

Even if she's emo or not.

I'm not a fucking emo.

Don't you even know the fucking diff?

- Do you know how your foul language

Breaks your mother's heart?

- Like calling mommy "demon jizz."

- So, listen, sweetie, we've found a camp.

No.

- A camp which is for troubled kids like you,

And you get to work outside and learn about responsibility.

- I'm not going to any fucking camp.

- It's for two weeks and when you come back

We can talk about earning back some of your privileges.

- I won't come back because I'll be fucking dead

I'll walk out of that camp andi'll walk the streets

Until I probably get picked up and gangbanged by criminals

Until I'm bleeding out my fucking eyes.

They have a horseshoe pit

Where you can challenge the other kids to horseshoes.

- And that's all you know? What else did she say?

- She said that her parents called her an emo

And she had to go to this camp for two weeks.

- Oh, my god, for two weeks?

- Is she at the camp now? - I don't know.

She texted from the bus they put her on

Then she said she wasn't even allowed

To have her cell phone where she was going.

Then all of a sudden, her texts went dark.

- Whoa. - That's fucking creepy, man.

I just can't believe it.

I can't believe parents would do that to their child.

- All right, now, you say that you witnessed your friend

Being abused by her parents.

- Yes. They called her an emo.

- What's wrong with that? - Emos suck.

They're vile, self-pitying, depressed assholes.

- So why do you think they called her that?

Because she's goth,

And some ignorant people don't know the difference.

What is the difference?

- Oh, my god, they're totally different.

Okay, different how?

- They're--you know, one is good,

And--and emos are horrible.

They're--you know, they're posers.

Emos suck my goth balls.

- All right, all right, think of it this way.

A goth believes that, deep down, the world is totally fucked up.

But an emo thinks that, deep down,

They are totally fucked up.

- That's not much of a difference.

- That's a huge fucking difference.

- Okay, okay, look, emos are more prone to suicide.

This fucking bitch, man.

- But goths are more prone to be depressed

That so many people commit suicide.

- Goth's darkness is nihilistic, whereas emo's is cynical.

- Wait, I thought we were cynical.

Wh--whatever, it doesn't matter. - No, see, you're nihilistic.

Oh, yeah, you're right.

- Hello? Somebody let me out of here.

You can't treat people like this.

This is fucking ridiculous! What's wrong with you?

I'm gonna go to the fucking cops when I get out of here.

- What if she comes back and she's all preppy and conformist?

- She's only been there two weeks.

They can't have changed her that much.

Can they have?

Oh, my god.

Hey, guys.

- What the hell have they done to you?

- What do you mean? They couldn't do anything.

They can't fix me.

They don't even understand me.

- Oh, my god, it's worse than we thought.

They made her emo!

Has she said one word to either one of you guys?

- Nothing. It's like she's a totally different person.

She won't even look at us.

All she does now is hang out with the douchebag emo kids.

- God, p.E. Class is for such wannabe posers.

- I'd rather kill myself than put on gym shorts.

- I wish there'd just be an earthquake

So we could all die.

- Ugh, how can she hang out with them?

- There must be something else going on here.

- Not now, mom! I'm suicidal.

- It's not your mom, it's me.

Oh, hey.

- What did they do to you at that camp?

What do you mean?

Just the usual group therapy crap.

- Don't take this the wrong way,

But I think that place turned you into an emo.

- That's ridiculous. I'm not anything.

I don't fit in anywhere. I'm not emo, okay?

- Then why are you listening to sunny day real estate?

I was thinking, maybe they just made you confused at that place.

Maybe they didn't know what they were doing.

But then I started thinking...

Maybe that place turned you emo on purpose.

Like, maybe they knew what they were doing.

- You should probably stop digging for answers.

What?

- There's no winning this for you.

Soon, the entire world will be emo.

It is our time.

No way.

Nobody understands us.

And they won't understand until it is far too late.

Oh, my god, no way!

Do not fight it, michael.

Is being emo really all that different from being goth?

join us.

No way!

No way, no way!

death and despair!

Death and despair! Death and desp--

hello?

It's worse than we thought.

What is, everything?

- No, I mean henrietta. I confronted her,

And she was all like, "I am emo,

And emos are going to rule the world."

And I was like, no way!

And she was like, "yeah, soon it will be too late."

And I was all, no way! - No way.

- Yeah, so listen, call up firkle,

And meet me at village inn.

I've got to run home, but I'll be there in ten minutes.

Michael? Michael!

- Can't now, mom, I've got an emergency.

- In the dining room, michael. Let's go.

Have a seat, son.

Your mom and I have decided

You're going to go away for a little while.

What?

- We've been put in touch with this camp

For troubled kids like you and--

- What the hell are you talking about?

- This place gonna fix you, make you normal child!

No, you gotta listen to me!

You don't know what you're doing!

You fucking conformists!

They're evil!

- I never thought it would end like this.

I never thought that goths would

Just be slowly replaced by emos.

- Pete... If they get me,

If I get sent to that camp and I come back emo,

Kill me. Promise that you'll kill me.

I promise.

- Hey, you kids need to order something or you need to go.

- Not now, lady, we're really depressed.

- So what else is new? - This is different, okay!

Our two friends are being bodysnatched by emos!

There's only one other group who understands emos like we do.

We're gonna have to team up with the vampires.

- Are you crazy? - What choice do we have?

- The vampires are our sworn enemies.

We beat up their leader and burned down their lair.

Don't you remember? - Yeah, I remember.

But it may be a suicide mission,

But we have to walk right into the middle of the vampires

And ask them for help.