Mr. Pickles

Dad, is your job as fun as eating cereal?!

Oh, no.

Huh?

Aah! Mr. Pickles got a bunch of animals glued to me!

Really? Mr. Pickles glued ani...

No! He told them to do it themselves!

Mr. Pickles can speak to animals!

He's evil!

Aah! Damn you, Mr...

S03E04 Telemarketers Are the Devil

Hi! I'm selling guitar weed wackers today, and...

Well, I don't know why you'd need one.

Hello?

Goodman, you stink!

Yeah, you're the worst telemarketer ever.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Y-Y-Y-You suck.

But these products are ridiculous.

Nobody else complains.

You just have to act like these products are great.

It's called acting, so make some sales,

or go wash dishes for a living.

Huh?

Uh, are y'all dishwashers?

No, we're telemarketers.

Then you're exactly who we're looking for.

- Hey, no! - Hyah!

Hey! Where are you taking us?!

Shut up, telemarketer! Get walking!

Where are you taking us?!

Stanley!

Where could Stanley be at this hour?

Huh? Footprints.

You sure have a good sense of smell... Ah!

Come on, Mr. Pickles.

Where the heck are we?!

Welcome. My name is Mr. Montgomery.

Well, why the heck did you bring us here?!

Well, my father once owned this farm,

and, oh, what a wonderful life it was.

Oh, what a wonderful life this is.

Then, one day, the phone rang.

Huh?

- Someone called a "telemarketer." - Hello? No, thanks.

Father was polite at first,

but after that, he couldn't do anything

- without telemarketers interrupting. - Hello? No I'm not interested.

- Not made love to my mother, - Hello?

nor to Uncle Dimples.

Leave me alone!

And when it came time to pay the workers,

the phone rang, and he dropped the money into the well!

Workers drowned. Father couldn't farm the land hisself.

- Another telemarketer! - And we had no food!

Mother begged him... No more answering!

So, he decided he wouldn't.

- But then he did! - Hello?!

He was instantly engulfed in flames.

He ran to the well, but the phone rang again.

Maybe it's not a telemarketer this time!

I'll never forget his last words.

Telemarketers are the devil!

Make them pay!

So, from this day forth, you devils belong to me.

What?!

Aw, I knew that's where this was going.

Stanley!

Stanley! Hyah! Hup!

Hi. Have you seen any telemarketers?

They're property of Montgomery Farm now,

so beat it.

I'm sorry. You were saying?!

Don't shoot us!

Come on, Mr. Pickles!

- Get her! - Okay!

Ugh.

Not the dog, you Dum Dum!

- But doggy tell horsey steal our guns. - Huh?

What if a doggy bark sounds like words to animals?

How dumb are you?!

Goodman, I thought you were a bad telemarketer,

but you're even worse at farming!

Do it like this!

Quiet! We don't want trouble!

No, do it like this, or you're fired!

Who's making that noise?!

- It was him. - What?

- Him right there. - Hey.

Okay. He just got you all a cording.

No, wait. It wasn't me.

No, I've been a good, uh, telemarketer.

Mmm, save that for later.

Devil on the run!

I'll be back... for all of you!

Get him!

We gon' get you, devil!

Hey, where'd he go?

Just saying, what if the doggy talked to animals?

Ain't no dog can talk to animals!

Doggy wake up. Best eat him 'fore he talk to animals.

Oh, that's it! I can't take this anymore!

Just throw him in that snake pit!

But what if doggy talks to snakes?

You dumb-dumb! The dog don't talk!

Besides, snakes ain't got ears!

How do they listen?

Snakes hear through vibrations!

I ain't got time to explain everything to you!

Now, just get the dog in the pit!

Bye, doggy.

Now, for trying to escape, you shall be hanged dead.

Goodman, this isn't easy,

but I do feel an apology is in order.