The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants

This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flat top.

Harold is the one on the right with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.

Remember that now.

-What's up with Krupp's eyebrows? -Shh, I think they can hear us.

-Wait, are those happy eyebrows? -You bet your sweet patooty!

Just 24 more office visits until you're expelled! Isn't it great?

Twenty-four? We're so not worried. We got plenty of runway.

That's 484!

-We're really burning up runway. -Maybe we should slow our prank roll.

And that's 491!

We should definitely slow our prank roll.

Yes, 497!

Why didn't we slow our prank roll?

-We're cool! -Me, too!

-What is wrong with us? -Live by the prank, die by the prank.

True that. But we got to find a way to stay occupied and out of trouble

or we're gonna get expelled.

How? It's not like an idea's gonna smack us in the face.

Sorry, I'm giving a Tomorrow Talk on T-shirt cannons

and it went off by accident.

"Tomorrow Talks, educational speeches about future stuff."

Wow, that's an informative T-shirt.

- When is it? - Tomorrow.

Ow!

Harold, this is how we stay busy. We'll do a Tomorrow Talk.

Our Tomorrow Talk today is about something that will change your life.

-Tell them what it is, Harold. -Um...

It's something so amazing and so great,

you won't believe it.

-Go ahead, George. -It's something so incredible,

only Harold can do it justice.

Oh, just thinking about it leaves me speechless,

which is why I'll let George take it from here.

-Hmm... Or not. -Yeah, not.

You oxygen thieves aren't qualified to talk about today, let alone tomorrow.

Ha! Time-related burn!

-Even Melvin's burns are nerdy. -Okay, we need to do something else.

Huh?

Miss Anthrope!

-Did you call me? -No! Wait, yes!

-Look at my head! -Not again.

No, it's real this time! There's a hair! A hair! Can you believe it?

-It's a hair miracle, sir. -My follicles are back in business, baby!

It's all thanks to George and Harold's impending expulsion!

Imagine what my hair will be like when they're gone for good!

Hey! Get off my yacht!

Look, we know we gotta stay busy to stay out of trouble.

So far we've eliminated joining a golf club,

knitting, and building an aqueduct.

Want to make a comic instead?

What are you talking about? Comics always get us in trouble.

So, yes?

Ooh! I just got an amazing idea.

That is a great idea!

Whoa! Might be time to order a little more Fart-A-Tart.

The everyday spray that makes George's farts smell like tarts.

Mm! Tart-tastic!

Anyway...

So, there was this mad scientist

who wasn't mad like "Grrr" mad,

but mad like "a duck who thinks he's a tractor" mad.

Weird, right? Anyways, he worked alone, which was lonely,

so he ended up talking to his farts a lot, like everybody.

But then one day, he had an epiphany, and he was like,

"Maybe I won't be so lonely if my farts could talk back. It's genius!"

So he turned one of his farts from a stinker into a thinker.

Ding! And he named it Smartsy Fartsy because what else, right?

And the scientist talked to Smartsy Fartsy about smart stuff,

like atomic molecule junk and Voltaire and his disappointing childhood

and his dream of directing a short film for Sundance.

But the mad scientist was in for a way crazy surprise.

Smartsy Fartsy wasn't that smart. What?

Yeah, no, 'cause on account of him being made of fart.

And farts are made of beans and dumb and stink

and brimstone and egg and stupid.

So, that's what Smartsy Fartsy was.

A big, dumb fart cloud monster,

who decided to terrorize the town with stinky stupidity.

Anyway, the townspeople were all mad at Smartsy and, like,

"Someone stop that dim fartbulb! Can't breathe! Choke, choke! Ugh! Choke."

All Smartsy could say was, "Duh, me like mailboxes."

And that's when Captain Underpants,

who'd been practicing holding his breath hold...

to go pearl diving, flew in. "Tra-la-la!"

Captain Underpants tried to punch Smartsy Fartsy away,

but it turned out you can't punch a fart!

Whiff! Whiff! Not surprising.

Smartsy Fartsy got all mad

and tried to stink-blast Captain Underpants into space.

Once, blast! Twice, blast!

But Captain Underpants got it together and was like,

"Not today, Toots! Nope and stuff!"

He realized he could blow Smartsy Fartsy away

with his super breath, which he had just developed.

Wow, superbreath! Inhale. Woosh.

It's super! And everyone could breathe again.

Okay, the end.

So? It's a comic. What's the charge?

-Unauthorized use of a school stapler. -That's a rule?

Okay. Write it down. School stapler.

Yep! And that makes 498.

Now you're just two visits away from getting the boot.

I even bought a new boot for the occasion.

-That is a nice boot. -How does this count as an office visit?

We're not even in your office.

It's too nice a day to keep my office inside, but it still counts!

Huh? Ha!

Miss Anthrope! Another hair!

These bubble suits are pretty genius.

No way we can get in trouble wearing these.

-Oh, no. Dodgeball! -Oh, no.

Guys, this is not a long-term solution.

-It's all we got. -We're hanging by a thread.

Oh! My dignity!

-If only we could get rid of Mr. Krupp. -Before he gets rid of us.

Well, the only person who can do that

is the school superintendent, Dr. Vil Endenemys.

Amenities?

-Endenemys. -Emperornoknees?

-No, Endenemys. -And dentistries?

-Endenemys. -Adventuretrees?

-En-den-em-ys. -Agree to disagree.

-But we're in. Can you pop us free? -Sure, just let me finish them.

I'm gonna need a brain scan for--

We had some times together.

Topeka, Cleveland, Cedar Rapids.

But it's the end of the road, Wigsworth.

Miss Anthrope!

Did you call--?

Donate these wigs to hairless cats or whatever.

I'll never need a wig again! Never!

Except this guy. We had some times.

Smartsy Fartsy?

Intelligent gas. That's actually a good idea.

The kind of good idea that could get me into Eliteanati Academy.

And I'd owe it all to George and Harold.

No! Snap out of it!

Whoa. So I guess this is what Dr. Endiddlebees looks like.

Endenemys!

Ah!

I've been expecting you, George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

-How do you know our names? -Well, you called.

-This is George Beard... -And Harold Hutchins.

George is the one on the left with the tie and the flat top.

Harold is the one on--

Yeah. Well, our principal, Mr. Krupp, wrote a rule in the rule book

-that says if we-- -Stop!

He wrote a rule in the rule book? By hand?

Yeah, a bunch of them, actually.

No principal has the authority to write rules!

His spelling's not good, either.

Bring me that book and Mr. Krupp is out!

-Like vacation? -Like baseball?

-Like fired! -If he gets fired, he can't expel us.

All we have to do is sneak into his office and get that book.

So do it!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, Mr. Meaner, we're here-- I'm here to...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's go.

There's a new, yeah, yeah, yeah, me on the loose.

Ow! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sir, there's a toxic spill! Evacuate and leave the rule book!

-Never! -We'll keep it safe.

- Give me! - Aah!

Ow!

Huh?

Another victory for the sea.

So, you guarantee this safe is safe?

Because I need to keep this book safe by putting it in a safe.

That's why I spent the school's entire chair budget on a safe.

Safe. Safe.

When you say it a bunch of times, it doesn't sound like a word anymore.

Safe. Safe. Safe.

Safe?

Wait, who's gonna carry this in? Miss Anthrope!

-Safes are easy to crack, right? -Not as easy as this.

Oh. Sheesh.

You are a fartiste, my friend.

-"Ways to open a safe. One, explosives." -Fresh out. What else?

"Two, acid strong enough to dissolve metal."

-Think they have that in the science lab? -No, but maybe in the cafeteria.

- Welcome! - That whiny voice was Melvin's.

He's busy rehearsing because he invited Eliteanati Academy to his Tomorrow Talk.

Welcome, esteemed members of Eliteanati Academy.

Behold my greatest invention, the Elevapor 2000!

It can bring inert gas to life!

Hey, that's our idea!

-Coinkydink? -No.

Thank you, Clappyhands 2000.

Lifeless gas goes in and an intelligent cloud comes out!

Why is this not working?

I'm being clapped silly! Ah!

Now I'm being clap-handled! Ah!