Metalocalypse

These are you new, enhanced hover drums.

They're faster, louder, and you've a wireless navigation

system that's good up to 2,000 miles within concert radius.

You're equipped with wireless stage monitors.

Pickles: Where is the... the throttle is between your

double kicks and high-hat pedal.

Its all very rudimentary.

Any questions?

Pickles: Um, how do I ...

Ooh, you're on now!

Pickles: Okay! Let's do this!

Pickles: Whoa!

Charles: Hover drums malfunction.

Dispatch 3522 and 7611 tech teams now!

Charles: Where is he now?

He's over the ocean, sire.

Charles: He's totally out of control.

We've got to land him now!

Aah!

Get those planes out of here now!

Pickles: Wh-o-o-o-oa!

Charles: Pickles, we just got your toxicology report back, and

it shows that you have 100% alcohol in your system.

You caused billions in damage, and the authorities want to make an example of you.

Nathan: Yeah.

To avoid any problems, we made the decision to send you to rehab.

Pickles: Rehab?

Charles: Pickles, we have a great deal to discuss regarding

your move to rehab, but, uh, your brother, Seth, has been calling a lot.

I just want to play this message before we get into it. Here we go.

Pickles, it's me... your brother, Seth.

Boy, did you really up out there, huh?

Anyway, I'm here running Dethklok Australia, and I need

to, uh borrow $5 million... you know, got into some trouble.

Anyway, so, get back to me on that.

And, uh, you know, try not to up so much.

You know, you never could hold your alcohol.

Anyway, you're making my job harder, so, uh uh, bye.

Pickles: I would rather kill myself than give that $5 million.

Why does he always show up when I'm at my absolute worst?

Nathan: Hey, Pickles. He's your brother.

Pickles: W-what are you... Nathan: Be cool, all right?

Charles: Uh, but back to this rehab business, to recap, it's

costing us a lot, and the local authorities want a scapegoat.

Nathan: So we offered them you 'cause you were drinking a lot.

Pickles: What are you talking about?!

It was a technical malfunction!

Nathan: Denial, huh?

Denial, right guys?

Murderface: Denial!

Skwisgaar: Textbooks case.

Nathan: Right there... it says it in the book.

Look, Pickles, to put it bluntly, you can't handle your booze.

Murderface: Can't handle your booze, Pickles!

Skwisgaar: You ams a lightweights.

Nathan: You can't handle your booze, and we can.

Flying hover drums all across Mozambique... who does that, really?

Pickles: It's part of the show!

Nathan: Uh-huh. Yeah. Excuses, excuses.

Pickles: I hate you all. I really do.

Nathan: Try to calm down, Pickles!

That's the booze talking!

Pickles: Guys, seriously.

Think about this for a second.

What am I supposed to do without booze? It's my whole life.

Nathan: You could eat an apple.

You could always eat an apple... Instead of drinking.

Skwisgaar: You cans try instead of doings drugs,

jackings off while yous chokes yourselfs with a leather belts

around your throats, close to the points of death.

Nathan: Yeah, that's a natural high.

Murderface: Yeah, that's good, clean fun.

I do it every morning. Charles: Okay, guys.

I really, really don't want to promote autoerotic asphyxiation, okay?

Murderface: God!

Live a little bit, grandma!

Charles: I'm trying... it's an embarrassing death.

You always have to color it differently in the media.

Murderface: I think it's an awesome death.

Nathan: bad-ass death. Toki: Yeah.

It's better than blowing up in the space shuttle.

Charles: Look, Pickles, i-it's time for you to pack your

bags and start living sober.

I'm sorry, but that's the way it has to be.

Oh, God, I got to get clean!

Not really.

God, I don't know what I'm gonna do without you.

Oh, God!

Oh, no!

Oh!

Charles: Now, an unfortunate scheduling conflict has come up as a result of all of this.

You have a show to perform, but Pickles will be in rehab.

Nathan: So, we can't play with a drummer?

You know, that'll take a lot of the rhythmic element out of the

songs, I mean, don't you think?

Charles: Well, I think I've figured something out.

You can't play with Pickles, but you can play with a machine.

You can play with a drum machine.

Toki: Whoa! Looks at thats! Nathan: Whoa.

That's pretty cool.

Murderface: Oh, my gosh! That's bad-ass!

Charles: Uh, good, then.

In the meantime, you guys will have to watch this instructional

video in order to operate it.

Hey, pals!

It's me, facebones!

Nathan: Hey, look. Facebones.

And let me introduce you to your newest robot pal and band member, x2p1158!

He's the coolest high-tech drum machine known to humankind and

can play any style, including but not limited to Latin, soul,

R&B, rock, adult contemporary, fusion, Latin fusion, and dildo fusion, too!

And he can outperform any drummer and is capable of

performing up to 200 polyrhythms at once.

He can also perform the deadly hexi-kicks.

Check it out!

Wow!

And, most importantly, they can handle their alcohol... not like some drummers.

Nathan: Holy

It's the perfect drummer.

Skwisgaar: If we could only finds one that plays rhythm guitars, toos.

Toki: Thats would be cools.

Another robots pals.

Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning!

The x2p1158 is equipped with a 10,000 megaton self-detonation

device and, in rare cases, can become self-aware and cause

dangerous harm to humans!

If that's the case, contact the manufacturer.

Not our problem!

But that probably wont happen anyho-o-o!

Thanks for watching and enjoy playing with the x2p1158!

I'm facebones!

G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-goodbye!

Nathan: Hey, Pickles isn't gonna care that he's being replaced, is he?

Skwisgaar: Nah, he'll be fines.

He ams probably been settlings in real nicelys and adjustings in rehabs.

Murderface: Yeah, probably living like a king!