Episode #2.4

Hey, I'm Kimia Behpoornia.

I don't know what's about to happen today.

All I know is last time I was here

I had an emotional support person, Jacob Wysocki.

They took him away from me this time, but that's fine.

Let's go.

Today we're giving this comedian

a total transformation.

What could you possibly be doing?

They have no idea who

or what they're about to become.

Have a little laugh.

Everyone knows what's going on.

- Once they see themselves in the mirror,

they'll have to make up a character on the spot

and then sit down with me for an improvised interview.

This is "Very Important People."

Do I look like a slay? (laughs)

No.

Now this is horrific, guys.

Ugh.

Ah, it is I, Sarah the Destroyer.

I've come to collect rent.

Hello, come on in.

I have many potions.

They'll make you popular on TikTok.

Oh, my rings are great.

Get in here.

Who was this? Right?

This was my ex-husband.

Waste nothing.

That was dinner and also a hat. Crafty queen.

Terrifying. Didn't love that.

That's fine. Here we are.

Double, double, toil, and trouble.

Ooh, like the Three Witches.

I'm the Fourth Witch. They didn't let me in.

Wonder why.

What is the meaning of life?

What is the meaning of life?

We all have a story to tell

and sometimes those stories

need to be shared with the world.

Good evening, I'm Vic Michaelis,

back with another edition of "Very Important People."

Okay, so I'm not gonna be seated until my guest-

Oh, okay.

Ha. - Ah.

- That was fun. - It's a witch fart.

Anytime I fart, I just kind of go away for a minute

and then I'm back.

Like my grandmother.

What's her name? I might know her.

Well hey, what's your name?

Fourth Witch.

Your name is Fourth Witch?

Well, I have a stage name, but yeah,

my legal name is Fourth Witch.

Fourth Witch of what?

You ever heard of a guy named Macbeth?

Oh sure.

So there's like the Wayward Sisters.

- Sure. - Three.

They're my sisters.

Let me just clarify this for myself

and the viewer at home.

There's sort of three sisters

that are famously associated with Macbeth.

- Yeah. - And you are the fourth one?

Yeah, they didn't let me in, you know?

What was your family like?

I don't know much about witches,

so did you grow up together?

- Yeah, so they're all creepy, spells and stuff.

Sure, and you too.

- I'm funny. - You're funny?

- I'm the funny one. - Okay.

So here's what happened.

Birth.

Sure.

My first sister comes out. (grunts)

- Right. Not like that, I bet. - My second sister comes out.

And the third sister comes out. (grunts)

I come out. (laughs)

I was born funny. - I'd love to hear a joke.

Okay, okay. I do prop comedy.

I'll bite. Let's take a peek.

Okay.

We're on top of a mountain.

Okay.

Ugh. (laughs)

Yodeler on top of a mountain.

- Oh, I see, and so he is sort of getting the hook?

Getting a hook 'cause you yodel too loud

on top of the mountain.

I'm sort of workshopping that one for my special.

Oh, I see. You have a special?

Yeah.

Well, how interesting is that.

Okay, so it sounds like you're doing all right.

I would like to hear a little bit

about how you got ousted from the Macbeth Trio.

So you know the story of Macbeth?

- Mad King. - Cursed.

- Wife, bloody hands. - That's right.

Well, that was sort of my trial.

That was like the test out to see if I could hang

with the rest of the Wayward Sisters.

- I see. - There's something in comedy-

- Sure. - It's called, uh-

Why'd you point at me?

You're funny?

I don't know, were you fishing?

Okay, so there's this thing in comedy,

it's called a misdirect.

Okay.

- So I added a misdirect into the curse with Macbeth

and then the sisters were like,

"There's no room for comedy in curses."

And I was like, "Excuse me?"

Your sisters think you're the funny one.

They don't want anything-

No, they don't think I'm funny.

Your sisters don't think you're funny?

Yeah.

So what do they think of you?

Freak.

Weirdo.

They think you're a freak weirdo?

- Well separate. They've never put that together.

Don't give 'em ideas.

- On that note, I think I would be remiss not to point out

that this is actually a very special holiday episode today.

And knowing that we were having you on as our guest,

we thought it was the perfect time to celebrate

our holiday episode and that episode is

the Christmas episode.

So if we can go ahead and fly on our props here.

- No, we can't do Christmas. - Why?

- Witches and Christmas. We don't do Christmas, we can't-

Well, it's not like religious.

It's like- - We can't do Christmas.

It's like presents and lights.

- Oh. - Okay.

- Ah! - Okay, hey.

- Ah! - It's fine.

Instead of Christmas,

it could be sort of like a birthday party.

A Jesus birthday party. What do you think?

Happy birthday, Jesus.

Jesus?

It's just bringing up a lot of stuff about family for me.

Like Halloween, you can walk it alone, you know what I mean?

But Christmas is about family.

- On Halloween, are you going trick or treating by yourself?

What do you do?

Well, normally, like, you bring kids.

I don't really go trick or treating, obviously.

Oh, and you have kids.

Well, I have a stepdaughter, Bianca.

She was actually very excited

that you were coming here today.

Oh, she knows my jokes?

- Well actually, Bianca found you on TikTok.

Oh yeah?

- And she's quite familiar with your comedy

and said that she thought that maybe

you would be a good fit and I fought it tooth and nail.

And, um- - Okay, Bianca,

I got something special for you.

- Okay. - Can we get a prop?

Just anything.

I can do anything at all. - Can we get a prop?

Oh, okay, wow.

This one's for Bianca.

Okay.

We're on a football field.

- On a football field? - Right now.

Bianca, you're my favorite teammate. I love you.

Go long.

That wasn't a joke. That was a pun.

Punt. (laughs)

Okay, well.

We actually have a Christmas song

that we're gonna be singing right now.

Oh, no.

It's a favorite of everybody here

and it's called "Christmas, Christmas That Time of Year."

What is that?

- The network said we have to do, um, a Christmas song.

- You don't have to do stuff you don't wanna do.

- Oh yes, I do. - This is how I got here.

What do you mean?

- Because everyone was like, "Oh, you gotta be scary.

You have to curse people."

And I said, "No, I love prop comedy."

- How long did it take you to figure that out?

- Well, it took a lot of me trying to fit in

and it feels like you're trying to do that right now.

Well.