NFT: Cursed Images

- Hey. - Oh.

- What? - Wash your hands.

Why?

Come here.

Couldn't wait till we got home?

Come on, you know how it is when you need to go.

Yeah.

What did you think of the party, then?

Um, I thought Margaret had one too many.

Didn't she?

What?

What is it?

Um, nothing.

It... it... it

it was probably nothing.

Sue, what was it?

It... it was an animal or something.

It passed.

Right. It was probably just a fox, babe.

It was too big to be a fox.

Um, can we... can we just go home?

Yeah. That's where we were originally going, remember?

Okay, can we go that way, please?

That... Babe, no.

Look, it's gonna take forever

if we don't just cut through the park here.

What's going on with you today, babe?

You've been acting weird all night long.

God, you're gonna think I'm so stupid.

It's this thing with Bonnie.

She gave me this image.

What image?

You know, like, one of those, um... those NFT things.

Here.

Oh. Babe

don't tell me you're getting into those online scams, man.

NFTs, yeah?

They're nothing but pump-and-dump schemes.

Yeah, okay, I know, Mark. I-I-I know.

It's just that she's been making a lot of money, okay?

- And... and a lot of people are. -

It's not just her.

Oh, I can't believe this.

Um, just... listen to me, okay?

She gave me an image that somebody else gave her.

Right. Okay.

- And I thought nothing of it. - She thought nothing of it.

She was being nice, and then she called me earlier today,

and she was act... she was acting weird.

Well

well, weird how?

She said that the image was cursed.

Babe, what?

She said that there are dozens of these cursed images,

and they're being shared online.

And then she hung up.

And I-I tried to call her back, but she didn't answer.

And I've been trying to reach her all night.

Babe, babe

It's Bonnie, okay?

It's a Friday night in London.

She's probably coked out of her little mind.

- You're not listening to me. - You didn't hear her, okay?

She sounded really scared.

Did you hear that?

Mark?

Mark.

Okay, guys, raise your glasses.

To Kit.

- To Kit. - Ah, ah, ah, ah.

It is Captain Kit now, motherfuckers.

To Captain Kit.

The luckiest crypto trader alive.

Hey, man, if you didn't ape in and lose money

on every single project you invested in,

then maybe you could be mooring next to me now.

I'm not working for a 20-year-old Gen Z boss.

Yeah.

Oh, tell me about it.

Fucking rich kids, man, taking over.

See, my current boss

he made his fortune with meme coins,

and now he's got his own business.

- It wasn't that easy for us. - Here we go again.

No, no, no, man. This ain't funny.

Think about it.

Our generation got fucked over from the start.

By the time we were joining the workforce,

the crash of 2008 happened.

Yeah, it was a good time for me, too.

Yeah, it is scientifically proven that us millennials

are the most well-educated generation

earning the lowest wages.

We got caught up in a transition period.

What the hell are you talking about, man?

Think about it, man.

By the time our parents were 30, they had their own houses.

And most of us can't even afford a mortgage.

We need to find other ways to succeed,

alternating gigs on top of the full-time jobs we already have

that is, the ones of us who have the time to do that, anyways.

Man, like, these Gen Z's, they have it easy as well, man,

with all the free time and opportunity coming their way.

I mean, if you have easy access to Mummy and Daddy's wallet,

you can buy a decent amount of crypto and make some profit

without even having to leave your bedroom.

You are so bitter, man.

Before they even finish college,

these kids are already earning more money than us, man.

By the time we finished college,

the same old prick's still running the companies

that we were working for, giving us shit entry-level jobs.

Dan, are you even a millennial?

- Dan's clearly a Boomer. - Doomer, more like.

Yeah, fuck you all.

- I'm one of the OG millennials. - Oh, so, old, then.

Oh, yeah, yeah, you know, the ones that everyone

still called Gen Y and liked

before all the SJWs came and spoiled our rep.

Listen, if you had just bought into Bitcoin when I told you to,

you wouldn't be the bitter old man you are now.

Oh.

Are you still mining Bitcoin?

Nah, I cashed mine out when it hit 1K.

I thought it was a pretty good deal.

You still managed to cash in that last SHIB pump, right?

- You know it. - So wait.

While I was away, you guys just, what, all got rich off crypto?

Oh, yeah, all of us except Paper-hands Dan here.

Well, you guys are all weak, though.

The real money's in NFTs.

Hey, I'm still buying NFTs, too, all right?

I-I paid for my boat's generator with DOGE Pound Puppies.

But you still don't hold a Moody Krow, though,

- do you, fool? - I am a flipper.

- You see, that's... - that's what I'm saying.

Our parents had the money to buy a house and a car.

And we need to be, what, taking risks

buying digital salmon online?

I mean, fucking hell. Give me strength.

Wait, wait, wait. NFTs?

Hello?

Non-fungible tokens, digital art.

On what planet have you been living, man?

No, I-I've heard about it.

I just don't, like... I don't get it.

What's the point?

Mate, you're not missing much, anyways.

I'll get it.

- What's wrong with you? - What? I've got a life.

- Give me a break. - Thank you.

Listen, listen, it's like, do as I say, but don't do as I do.

- Hey, guys. How are you? - How you doing?

- Hey, guys. - Hey.

- Hey. - Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

James, you're back.

Uh, yeah, I guess so.

Um, it's good to see you.

You too.

I'm gonna grab a beer, actually.

- Do... do you want one? - No, I'm... I'm good.

I'm gonna...

- You guys want beers? - Yeah.

Go see whatever Sarah is doing right now.

I can't believe you let Julia bring Cass, man.

Hey, I didn't know she was bringing her over, okay?

Guys, it's fine.

I didn't even want the birds here

in the first place, all right?

I wanted this to be a boys' night.

Look, I told you, Julia's been on my ass

since we went alone to that Korean party.

You guys still go to Vauxhall?

Yeah, me and Kit still go, but shh.

I can't believe you sometimes, Nes.

Hey, you're the one who brought Sarah over.

Yeah, Sarah's one of the fucking boys, remember?

Guys, honestly, all right, it's cool.

This was bound to happen sooner or later.

Look, James, I swear,

I didn't even know she was gonna bring Cass over.

Forget about it, okay?

We're all from the same friendship group.

I mean, you guys can't just stop hanging out

because we broke up.

- You sure you're okay? - Yeah. It's cool.

- We're all adults. - Here he is.

Speaking of adults, just gonna grab a cerveza.

Mm-hmm.

You can have that one. I'll get one.

- Oh, cheers, man. - Yeah.

- Hey. - Hey.

- How's it going? - Yeah, it's fine.

- Anything good in there? - I wish.

I thought he'd have a stash hidden away.

- No. - I know he does.

I'm sure he will somewhere in here.

I just don't know where it is.