Rick and Morty

I gotta ask, is someone requesting pancakes

because it feels like we eat them all the time.

It just says, "The hospital."

Bold caller I.D.

Hello? Oh. H-Hey, Junior.

Oh, geez.

Oh. Oh, okay. Yeah. Bye.

That was my son...

Morty Jr., with the hands,

you know, coming out of his head.

Oh fuuuuuuck that guy!

Ugh. Boo.

Guys! Come on! Morty.

He wrote a "New York Times" bestseller

about what a bad dad you are.

It made us look bad for raising you.

From one writer to another, the guy is a hack piece of shit.

It's okay to hate your kids, Morty.

But he called from the hospital.

You think he's dying?

Who cares?

Well, it's not me.

Oh, shit. Our table's ready.

OMG!

Summer made me get a reservation for us

at some dumb Pre-Cog restaurant.

It's the toast of Food-Tok.

They predetermine what you'd want to eat

before you even get there.

Time to see if this place is worth having to go to it.

It'll beat this shit.

Opa!

Hey, Morty. Sorry about your terrible son.

I say let him die alone in that hospital bed.

Damn. Rule of threes, huh?

Oh! My vibrator.

Sorry, honey.

Our vibrator.

What, do you want me to pull it out and show it to you?

We're good. Let's get the hell out of here.

Jesus Christ.

Welcome back to "Downbeat: The Game The Show."

Contestants, you know the rules.

Father, you came.

Junior. Wow, you got old fast.

Well, time flies when you're a Gazorpian.

I suppose you read the book.

It was hard to avoid for a while.

Yeah, you said some tough stuff

to a pretty wide audience.

I'm...sorry.

Hey, that's family, I guess.

Can't help but notice you're...dying?

I didn't ask you here

to talk about that.

I was hoping you'd help me make peace with my mother.

Ohh...yeah. That might be tough.

Um, the thing is, your mother was...

A semen receptacle?

Oh. You, uh, you heard. Huh?

I know she was made to process seed

and never technically alive,

but I'd still like to pay my respects.

Well, see, I'm not proud of where she ended up.

You think I'm proud of any of my life choices?

Yeah, I did hear about the, uh,

the soft canceling.

Oh.

I didn't take any joy from it.

You know what? Let's -- Let's see what we can do.

I love when restaurants have a big tank.

I don't know, this aesthetic

really clashes with the table buzzer.

Smith, party of two.

Oh, my God. So worth it.

Perfectly predicted.

Oh, I did want this, but I never saw it coming.

Oh, snap, the wooden balls.

You think the cogs are behind there?

Who cares? This place is all gimmick.

Are you grumpy about everything?

They bring you food and you eat it.

Ooh, that's totally us.

What do you think I ordered, ribs? No, boring.

Space ribs.

Oh, nice. Morlackian fawn.

Aside its mother's tentacle.

Mm. Pretty good.

See? Lay it on me.

Avocado toast?

With cracked pepper on top.

O...kay.

I mean, pepper's pretty normal.

So are you. You brought us to a restaurant from the Internet.

Ew. Okay.

Yes, I guess I deserve this.

You're not pranking me?

No, no, this is where Gwendolyn was laid to rest.

Is this your trash bin?

Rick's... gar-bage por-tal.

Uh, it doesn't sound any better.

Look, I told you I wasn't proud of this.

Alright then.

"Mother,

I'm told your mouth was always open.

But I'm sure your heart was as well."

Ah, who am I kidding? This sucks.

Wait. I-I see you're making a move to go in.

I will go in first. Okay?

Whoa!

How much stuff does your grandfather throw away?

A lot.

He likes to get drunk and invent stuff

that doesn't make any sense.

Pretty wasteful.

Yeah, that's why Rick built Salva-tron --

a self-replicating system

that filters the trash for anything valuable.

Oh, they're coming over. Just a formality.

Value detected. Value detected.

Uh...hmm.

Uh, hesitancy detected?

Yeah. What's up?

Uh, it's just if I find anything of value,

I have to tell Rick about it.

Okay.

And, you know, talking to Rick can be dicey.

I mean, the last Salva-tron found a bag of diamonds,

and Rick yelled at them about how diamonds are bullshit.

Right. But I'm his grandson.

How do I know he didn't throw his grandson away?

Sorry, pal, but I can't risk it.

Good news is, you will look like trash when I'm done.

Run!

How was that good news?!

Mmm-mmm.

Even the plate tastes good.

What's the story with dessert?

Can I just ask for lava cake?

Or do I have to think it at them?

Alright, I'll try it.

Maybe I'm missing something.

No! It's just fucking avocado toast!

And the avocado's not even that ripe.

Summer, this place runs on future-predicty

pre-cog bullshit.

You don't want to get caught up in that.

I'm gonna say something. No! Summer!

You're not Morty. I can't just grab you.

Which one of you assholes --

Did this to me?

Hey, no finishing my sentences.

You're wrong about me.

I want hype, sophisticated space food

with an element of cruelty in its preparation.

Come on, Sum-Sum, they're clearly luring us

into some complicated, 12-steps-ahead examination

of determinism and causality.

Anything you do here pulls us further into their bullshit.

I'm -- - More complex than that.

I said stop that! I said stop that!

Ohh! You guys think you know everything

with your big heads and slimming bodysuits,

but maybe you won't see this!

Ow! Fuck!

Jesus, Summer! You hit it with a pan?

I thought it would see it coming.

I even teed it up a little.

Summer Smith, come out with your hands up.

You are under arrest.

How'd the cops get here so fast? They obviously --

Called in a tip ahead of time.

Ohh! You like that?

You like us saying the same thing at the same time?

'Cause that could be the whole story, Summer.

Except it won't, because --

The cops are surrounding us.

Shut up! We're stuck in this now.

The only reason I haven't burned this place to the ground

is because the cogs probably want that.

Rick Sanchez will realize the cogs are a better hang.

What? That would only be true if --

The cogs only want what he wants.

Okay. What do I want? Dessert!

It is already ordered.

To a cool safehouse.

I'm listening.

You're flipping sides over dessert?

Hey, I like my meal.

But this is exactly what you said they'd do to me.

Yeah. And you got us into this mess.

New plan, Summer, we're taking these cogs to go.

Come back!

Maybe I just need to scan you again.

Guys? Hello?

I see a bunch of rubble.

Is it safe to say I killed you?

Salva-tron, you've done it again.

Ah! Junior!

Oh, God. Are you okay?