Saccharine

I caught you.

Um... What...

I saw you looking.

Do you want to sign up?

Oh.

No. Uh... I'm not qualified.

Or I'm just not really 12-week challenge material.

That could change.

Are you a student or staff?

I'm a...MS-1, yeah.

Hana.

-I'm Alanya. -Oh.

This is all for my psych MA.

Oh, so you're looking for guinea pigs.

What are you saying? You...you don't want to be my guinea pig?

No.

Um, well, may...

Maybe? -..maybe.

Maybe leaning towards a yes?

Maybe depending on the scientific rigour of the study.

Hmm.

Well, why don't you come by and find out?

Mortui vivos docent.

The dead teach the living.

For the next 12 weeks,

these generous donors will be your teachers

and your first patients.

You'll have the opportunity to honour their lives

at semester's end.

But until then,

let's remember to proceed with dignity and care.

Oh, we got a hefty one.

Stop.

Let's start with our first incision

down the sternum.

My eyes are burning from the fumes already.

Now, remember the scalpels are extremely sharp.

When you handle them, you'll please do so handles first.

Remember, hold the scalpel as you would a pencil.

Loose but firm.

Shit.

Let's hope for the sake of your future patients

that the rest of you have a more delicate touch

than Miss Hitching here.

I got it. It's OK.

Yeah.

Happy birthday, baby!

Thanks, Nikki!

This is for you, birthday girl.

Oh.

Strictly speaking, it is a re-gift.

What is it?

Do you lack all self-control with your phone?

Then let this Phone Jail Cell help you out.

Oh. I don't know. How does it work?

-Push it up. -Oh, like this.

No, no, no, no, no!

This re-gift has backfired.

OK, um, don't panic,

but I think that girl's checking you out.

The hot one at the bar.

She keeps looking at you.

You should go for it.

Go for what?

Don't get all pissy.

Come on, you're always talking about

how you're all theory, no practice.

It's like you're waiting for an invitation

to some kind of initiation party.

Come on, Jose.

I'm not. I'm not waiting.

Well, then here's your chance.

To put your theories into practice.

Fine.

I need the bathroom.

-Oh! -Oh, you are such a tease!

I really thought this was initiation day.

Hana.

How have you been?

Good.

I've been good.

How about you?

How many years has it been?

Oh, my God, Melissa!

-Yeah. -Hi!

Hi.

Ohhh.

I...I know.

There's something different about me.

You were really nice

to me in high school.

A lot of people weren't.

A lot of people were assholes.

You can ask, you know.

What?

How I lost the weight.

It's not that impressive.

There's these new pills called Gray.

A supplement.

It's kinda pricey, but it makes you drop the weight like crazy.

Gray?

It's not TGA-approved.

Strictly speaking.

I was dubious too, but then I started taking the pills

and no matter what I ate, the weight just melted off.

Do you want to try one?

I don't really take, uh...

Do you remember this girl?

The girl that had bloody pads shoved in her bag?

She doesn't exist anymore.

I'm a completely new person and it's thanks to those pills.

I'll take it back.

Take this one tomorrow.

My treat.

And tell me if you notice a difference.

It works that fast?

You'd be surprised.

Here we are!

Oh, no.

-There you go. -Oh, yes.

Cheers, queers!

Cheers!

Shit.

Do you know what baffles me?

How many people stereotype fat people.

Your girl is fat, yes.

But your girl is gainfully employed.

I am capable. I am switched on.

Hey, it's Mackenzie here, and it is challenge time.

Potato masher challenge.

Take one. Here we go.

It hurts.

Oh, shit!

This might be my favourite ab routine

I've ever done.

And just a reminder that

this is what a real woman looks like.

The reason why you can't lose the weight,

why it just stays on,

is because you can't stop--

I just tried the potato masher challenge

and you would not believe...

I can't help but notice some people

are not using the potato masher correctly.

So I thought I would just jump on and show you how it's done.

Hope this helps.

I'm about to launch my 12-week challenge.

If you've been wanting to build some solid habits...

..this is for you.

You're gonna meet some amazing people

who will keep you motivated and accountable the whole time.

You are out of control.

No, you are out of control!

Dad?

Mom?

Hana-chan! Happy birthday!

No flour, no sugar.

I used beetroot instead.

No butter.

Can you tell?

It's yummy.

You don't like it?

No, no, no. It's good.

You are too smart to be this stupid.

10 bucks says it's just speed.

No, I'm hoping it's something a little more run-of-the-mill.

Seriously, though, I mean, this is all just, like, a bit gross.

You're bangin'.

Uh-huh.

I'm thinking of signing up to do this thing.

What thing?

Oh, just a gym program thing.

So that's what all this, uh, diet pill bullshit is about?

That bouncy-haired trainer, Alana?

Alanya.

Huh.

Have you figured it out yet?

Getting there.

Not that.

Have you figured out whether you want to be with her

or just be her?

Come on!

Let's go.

My stomach is eating itself.

Huh. High sodium, high potassium.

It's mostly calcium phosphate.

What?

I think it's ash.

What?

Human ash.

Melissa's probably eating someone's grandpa.

Oh. Eww! Wait. Are you gonna report her?

It's just the sodium content alone should make you hungrier.

If anything, a lack of phosphate

would be more likely to cause weight loss.

OK, but, I mean, if you can't make it, who cares?

Huh.

Not too deep. Make sure not to puncture her lungs.

It's too weird to think of her as a real person.

We could name her, like the other groups did.