Cobra Kai

All right, ladies and gentlemen,

this is the moment we've been waiting for. The present a...

Daniel LaRusso's gonna fight?

- Daniel LaRusso's gonna fight! -

Now, isn't this what it's all about, folks?

Come on, Daniel! Come on, Daniel!

- -

- Fight! - Hyah!

Come on, Daniel! Get him!

Turn. Kneel.

Hey, Johnny, you're a cream puff!

Sweep the leg.

You have a problem with that?

No, Sensei.

No mercy.

All right, two points!

That's two points, LaRusso. Lawrence, nothing.

Ready? Fight!

Hyah! Hyah!

One point, Lawrence!

Hyah!

Hyah!

Point, Lawrence. 2-2.

- Hyah! -

Get him a body bag! Yeah!

- Illegal contact to the knee. - Finish him, Johnny!

Whoever wins the next point will be our new champion!

You finish him, Johnny! Finish him!

The new champion,

Daniel LaRusso!

Hey, I'm Miguel. My family and I just moved into 109.

Great. More immigrants.

Actually, we're from Riverside.

I was wondering if you were having trouble with your water pressure,

'cause I know our sink's being weird right now and…

Oh, bottles go in the blue bins.

Listen, menu do,

I've lived in this shithole for over ten years.

The pipe's don't work. The fountain's full of piss.

The only good thing here is that I don't have to talk to anybody.

So nice knowing you.

OK, well...

have a nice day...

- - I guess.

You've got to be kidding me.

Not another one.

Hey.

Creep.

Sick.

- Hey! - Gotcha.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- What the hell is this? - Don't worry, it'll be level.

I'm just lining it up.

You put it on the wrong wall! I said the wall across from the door.

- This is the wall across from the door. - Not that door, idiot. The door.

Just move the TV. I have company coming over.

Hold on. I'll have to fill the holes, remeasure, match the paint.

It'll take an hour to get to the hardware store.

That's not my problem.

I'm not the dummy who put the TV on, literally,

the only wall in the house that a TV would not go.

Why can't a TV go on this…

Look, I'll come first thing in the morning and put it just the way you want it.

I just can't do it now.

That's just great. Not bad enough you took a shit in my powder room.

- You said that's where I should go. - I didn't know you'd take a shit!

OK, we'll figure this out, all right?

Just quit bitching at me.

What did you just call me?

No, no, no! I didn't call her a bitch.

I said she was bitching at me.

There's a difference.

You're firing me because of that bitch?

You know what? I hated this damn job anyway.

You better pay me what you owe me, Mike.

Mike?

Banzai!

I'm Daniel LaRusso.

And at LaRusso Auto, we kick the competi...

That one.

Aren't you gonna wear gloves?

Where's the Pepto Bismol?

Over there.

Can you put that on a plate?

My grandma's not feeling well.

Didn't ask. C'mon, what's Spanish for "Just give me my damn slice"?

Fucking idiot.

He probably has a little dick.

What did you just say?

- What did he say? - You don't wanna know.

- I know it's something bad. Just tell me. - Uh, he said you have a tiny…

He said I have a tiny wang?

Tell him he has a tiny wang.

- I speak English, asshole. - Oh really?

- -

Whoo!

Yo, Brucks, get the light beer this time. Gotta cut weight for the meet.

- Hundo P, son! - Damn right.

Whoo!

Man, you should get some condoms too.

Pssht.

Finish up and then beat it!

- Excuse me? - This is my mart.

You ain't hustling no coin at my mart.

I'm not hustling.

I'm not homeless!

That's my car.

What the hell are you doing? Why you gotta blow up my spot?

- Dude, I... - He thought we were in college.

I didn't know you were trying to buy beer. Sorry.

- -

- Yes, let's go. - What the hell are you doing?

- Ooh, what do we got here? - What do you got? Pepto.

Oh shit. Someone has frickin' diarrhea!

Hey, we should call him 'Rhea.

Give it back, dude. It's for my grandma!

Oh, it's for your grandma? Shit, I'm sorry, man.

Hey, you want it? Hey, you can take all that shit.

- Take that! Yeah. -

Bitch.

Asshole.

- Ooh! - What'd you say, 'Rhea?

I… I didn't say anything.

That's brute, Ky.

Yeah. Or what?

- You crying? Where you going, pussy? -

- - Hey!

Watch the car, man.

Who's this dude?

- Just leave the dork alone. - What?

You see this guy? Eating his dinner at the mini-mart like a bum.

- - Wait, I think I know this guy.

He's the jerk-off that cleaned my dad's septic tank.

Oh!

That explains why he smells like shit.

Trust me, you are pissing off the wrong guy on the wrong day, all right?

- Really? - Yeah, really.

Get the hell out of here, loser.

Oh!

Aah!

Let's get him.

Get off me!

- Holy shit. How did you... -

- -

What's the matter? Having trouble breathing?

Hyah!

Is that all you got, ladies?

Come on, Ky.

- Let's go. - Get off me!

What's the matter? Having trouble breathing?

Hey, get off the kid!

- - Hey! It's not his fault!

Hey, I just wanted to say thank you.

All right, well, you said it.