Wish You Were Here

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Little Fishy .

- Every relationship is a story.

Hopefully it goes something like this.

At the end, you're in Florida,

in a sun-filled home with slanted ceilings decorated

in pastels and plastic flowers.

There's bland food, but it's plentiful,

and there are pink flamingos, bingo nights,

flu shots, and the occasional evening out,

a candlelit dinner where you ask for the low-sodium option.

At home, you talk about your children,

about how they're not all perfect, but you love them.

You reminisce about many years of marriage.

You imagine yourselves young.

But that's if you're lucky.

- I mean, we can see the flags go up.

I don't see why there has to be a bell, too.

Ugh, that guy asked for his avocado al dente.

- What can that mean?

Exactly.

I got it.

- Where's the other one, the other, the other girl?

We share sections here.

Is there something I can help you with?

- These eggs are stringy, and I don't mean to be picky,

but are you trying to kill me?

I mean, I did ask that other one for the avocado al dente,

and this, look, this is practically brown.

It's inedible, look.

I'm sorry, I don't really know

what avocado al dente means.

Um, but if- if you could just give me a second,

I will figure it out.

Are you bored?

No, not at all, sweetie.

How good is that, I mean, this is just-

- Mom. You're gonna get me fired

- What? Oh, oh, oh, no, don't let me keep you

Came to say hi. - Hi.

- Hey, are you still doing my hair tonight?

Yeah.

- Okay, good, but not too dark, okay, 'cause you,

you know, your father likes me a little blonde and-

- Gross. - Listen,

that's not gross for him to be attracted to me.

That's good, trust me.

You taking a spa day?

- I'm taking my 15 minute mandatory by law break

with my mom.

Hmm.

- Helen is covering my tables.

- You need to run that by me first.

- Well, I couldn't find you. Helen said you were in the

bathroom for, like half an hour.

- He tipped me 25 cents on a $40 check.

25 cents, he actually had to make the effort

to take the quarter out of his greasy wallet

and put it on the goddamn table.

- He's a regular, Helen, so what about the tip?

- You never have our backs, JonJon.

You both are phased.

Get your tables closed out.

- Well, your drink flags are dumb,

and these uniforms are lame!

- "Your drink flags are dumb and these uniforms are

lame." (laughs) - Lame. (laughs)

- That's priceless, who are you

and what have you done with my roommate?

That felt so good.

It was like I could feel my heart racing as I was saying it.

I think I got roofied.

That's 'cause you never eat.

Hey, what you got there?

Oh, this?

Uh, are you guys hungry?

- You can't eat some random guy's takeout.

- Oh my God . - Let me help you.

It's okay, I got, I got this.

No. (laughs)

I'm Adam.

- Hi, I'm Trixie and this is Dottie,

and I- I got it from here.

My name is Helen.

Hi, Helen.

What? He's hot.

Do you live around here, Adam?

- Yeah, I live on Fifth and Third.

- So why are you going the opposite direction, then?

Must have got turned around.

- You want to come eat at our place?

That's okay.

- We live right here. - Helen.

Okay.

Oh, I almost forgot.

- Oh, no, thank you. - Aw!

Bye, Adam.

Goodbye?

Charlotte.

- Let me into my home, please. (laughs)

He could have impregnated you with that look.

You should have asked him out.

I would have been all over that guy

if he looked at me that way.

- I cannot believe that you're eating that.

It's good.

Hi, hey.

What?

There he is.

What is he doing?

He looks lost.

Should we help him?

Go down and talk to him.

This is too weird.

Are you okay?

- Yeah, yeah, I just forgot my phone.

Oh.

Here.

Okay.

Left.

Mr. Margarita Town.

Yes.

- You live near Mr. Margarita Town?

Wanna go get a drink?

I work there.

I think.

- Ooh, no, the drink flags are dumb.

I know a better place.

Right now?

No, next November.

Yes, right now.

Go with him!

Live a little.

Life's short.

- Text me every five minutes, and you will be in public,

so don't get any ideas, takeout food guy.

Have fun!

- So you created an app and then you quit?

How do you afford your fancy takeout?

I'm taking a break from work.

- You don't seem like a tech guy.

What, like douche-y?

- I mean, (laughs) you, you're out roaming the streets

in the middle of the night,

offering your takeout food to strangers.

- I guess you could say I was an entrepreneur,

which still sounds douche-y, so.

Mm-hmm.

- Do you have a nickname, Charlotte?

My dad calls me Paper Doll.

What does that mean?

- It means that he thinks that I'm fickle.

Like, I'll float away in a gust of wind.

My dad says I have no follow through.

Boyfriend?

No, you?

I- I'm straight.

You're very beautiful, Charlotte.

And you're gonna chew your mouth off.

I do that a lot.

It's cute.

It's kind of gross.

You want to come over?

What, to your house?

Yeah, like, have a sleepover.

- Honestly, that kind of freaks me out.

- Okay, we'll just have our drinks then.

So, to answer your question from earlier,

if I'm roaming the streets carrying fancy takeout

and holding your hand, I win.

And there's nothing more entrepreneurial than winning.

You're lucky you're so cute.

You think I'm cute?

Yeah, I do.

- Do you want to help me paint something?

What? (laughs)