Prep & Landing: The Snowball Protocol

Tree-Scurrier to Little Drummer Boy.

All halls have been properly decked.

Over.

Little Drummer Boy, do you copy?

Hot!

Wayne?

Hot. Gingerbread burning, gotta go...

You didn't update your GBM software, did you?

Self-destruct mode initiated.

Exploding in 30 seconds.

- No, stop. - No, cancel.

You have to enter your password to override!

Huh? What's my password?

I don't know. It's your password.

Exploding in 20 seconds.

Oh! Got it.

Christmas. One, two, three.

Password, incorrect.

Still self-destructing in five...

- No, no, no, you're incorrect. - Four, three...

Stop, stop counting down.

...two, one.

Merry Christmas.

Oh.

Lanny...

I am initiating Snowball Protocol.

We will never speak of this again.

Well, that mission was not very tinsel, Wayne.

Not very tinsel at all.

Ahem. Zip it. Snowball Protocol.

- Oh, right. - Merry Christmas.

Oh, back at you, Jose.

- Merry Christmas, Alba. - Feliz Navidad.

So wait. Do you have any special plans for Christmas Day?

Nope. Not a one.

Oh, my family has a full day of activities planned,

and I'd love for someone to beat

my great aunt Lori at pin the horn on the narwhal.

She's starting to get a little too cocky about it.

So, you in?

Oh, boy, that sounds fun.

But I don't know, we just worked all night together.

I mean, wouldn't you rather spend time with your family and friends?

I'm just a co-worker, right?

Oh, I thought, we...

Oh. Yeah, right.

Co-workers.

Wayne?

You didn't pick up when I called you all eight times.

What, did you lose your GBM again?

No.

Hi, Magee.

Oh, Tiny, hi.

You know, you know, your presence is a gift I'd love to return.

Okay, bye.

Oh, no, no, no you don't.

The Big Guy wants to speak to you both in his office S-T-A-T. Stat.

Not sure what you did,

because the boss usually settles in for his long winter's nap about now.

It's probably about the GBM.

Okay.

I'll go in, smooth this over, and we can all get out...

He wants to see Lanny first.

Remember the Snowball Protocol.

Why are you being weird, weirder than usual? What's Snowball Protocol?

Nothing.

You're up to something.

If you lie to The Big Guy and he finds out,

you'll be demoted... to gift wrap.

Lanny.

Lanny?

Gift wrap.

Hello, sir.

One long night, huh?

Have a seat, Wayne.

Huh? Oh, yeah.

So...

I have something here.

Oh, my personnel file.

Is this some sort of a review?

Not that I have anything to hide.

Well...

Lanny told me about your...

big secret.

He what?

You know, I don't know what he told you, sir, but this morning...

it wasn't that bad.

This morning?

Listen, I've seen other operations go way more sideways than this one.

Oh! Do tell.

Well... I don't... Now?

Oh, okay.

Well...

This one time...

I can't believe Magee called us in for a highly classified mission.

I know.

It's super classified and super important.

Yeah, okay.

Who called this meeting?

Glen. I should have guessed.

Which conference room, Tiny?

Yeah, what, save me the good chair, you know the one.

He never listens.

Reporting for duty, Magee.

Good, because this is a mission of utmost importance.

I call it operation...

Eggnog.

Meet Commodore Charles Eggnoggington, the Third.

Nog, for short.

Aww.

Wait, I thought pets weren't allowed at work.

They're not.

He's been sick because of his sensitive little tum-tum

so I brought him to work to keep an eye on him.

Which is why I said it was classified.

You can't leave this office.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You want us to babysit your pet?

That's the big classified mission?

Yes.

No, no.

No way. I'm out.

I'll have my mother bake you her famous Christmas lasagna.

Triple layered with parm on top.

Double layered, parm sprinkle to keep it festive.

Deal. I'm in.

Great.

Here's a few instructions.

Oh, and one thing.

Nog loves fruitcake but he cannot have any.

Isn't that right, little Noggy-Nog?

If anything happens to him, I will snap you like a candy cane.

Back in a hour.

Goodbye, my handsome little gentleman.

That's for him, not you.

All right. Let's start wasting one hour.

Wow. This is super detailed.

Smells like wet fur in here.

There's even a diagram of Nog's no-no pet zones.

Don't even think about touching his left flipper.

Come on, can't be that hard to watch him. He's mostly blub...

- ...ber? Huh? - Where's Nog?

Oh, frostbite.

Mail call!

For you, Zamir.

Careful.

Oh, there he is.

Target acquired.

Letter for you, Doreen.

She's headed for the elevator.

Janice. Janice.

Wayne?

Janice, hold the elevator.

Why Wayne? So you can hire more carolers to break up with me again?

What? I mean, that was her favorite song.

I get no points for knowing that?

Nope.

No!

Bye, Wayne.

Stairs.

- Janice, please! - Oh, no, no, no...

What do you want?

Wait.

I waited long enough for you, Wayne.

You're right, you're right.

What I need isn't here.

I'm dating someone new, and he's on the nice list!

Oh, where is he?

There he is.

No!

That ball goes straight to the toy factory.

Check.

Check.

Come on.

Oh!

Sorry.

Come back, sweet prince.

I don't get paid enough for this.

Okay, where are you, you rotten little eggnog?

Fruitcake delivery.

Oh, no. He can't eat fruitcake, Wayne.

Over the fields we go.

Screaming all the way!

No lasagna is worth this!

And with this final, delicate flourish,

my masterpiece is complete.

No, no. No, no, no. Stay.

No, no...

His tum-tum.

Wayne, Magee is back in five.

We gotta go.

Sorry, Chef, bye.

I should have been a sugar plum dancer.

Hey, watch out!

You almost scratched it.

Make way.

You're right, Tiny.

I don't know why Glen called that meeting.

I mean, it was clearly a power trip so he could feel important.

Am I right?