Seinfeld

You sure you can't stay longer?

No. We just came up for the funeral.

Poor Marvin Kessler. He went too early.

He was 96 years old.

That had nothing to do with it.

The man was out of shape.

That's why we joined a program.

We walk once around the block three times a week.

And every morning, I eat a plum.

Well, whatever you're doing, you're wearing me out.

What about you?

Yeah. Looks like you're getting

a little spare tire there, tiger.

Really?

Hey, Seinfelds.

Hey, Mr. Kramer.

Hi.

How long you staying?

We just came to town for a funeral.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I heard.

Yeah, Marvin Kessler.

Boy, that makes you think.

If he could go...

See you downstairs at the car. Oh, hey.

Hey, you sure you don't need a hand with that?

No, no. The luggage is on the program.

I got a brick in here.

Did you give blood?

No, no, no. Not giving. Hoarding.

I'm storing it at the blood bank.

Just in case.

In case of what?

Jerry...I know myself.

If I'm out on the street, and it starts to go down,

I don't back off until it's finished.

Are we finished?

Done.

Elaine, I'm so glad you came out.

Yeah.

Now, you haven't seen Jimmy for years.

I know. Well, I'm glad I got to see him before he hit puberty

and got, you know, all...

lurchy and awkward.

Yeah.

Actually, uh, I'm gonna need someone

to look after him tomorrow evening.

Tomorrow evening? Sure.

Do you know anyone responsible?

Do I know anyone?

Well, if you think of anybody, give me a call.

What are you doing?

Oh, incense. For the mood.

Oh, yes. By all means. The mood.

Let me know if there's anything I can do

to lend support to the mood.

Mm.

Mm. Cream soda?

Vanilla.

Oh.

Hm.

Can you believe that?

Vivian doesn't think I'm responsible.

Who wants to be responsible?

Whenever anything goes wrong,

the first thing they ask is "Who's responsible for this?"

I couldn't raise a kid?

Come on. I love bossing people around.

Hey.

What happened? I thought you were with Tara.

I was. I had to leave.

She lit this vanilla incense.

The smell drove me nuts.

I... All I could think about was food.

I had to get out of there.

Gonna need some pudding here. Pudding!

You just left? What did you tell her?

I told her I had a bus transfer

that was only good for another hour.

What?

I don't know. I was starving, Jerry.

Oh, pudding. Ha-ha.

Ah, you want some?

Hey, do you guys think I'm getting a little...chunky?

What, are you kidding? We look great.

Mm. You know what this pudding needs?

The skin on the top.

Like when your mother used to make it on the stove.

Elaine, what do you think?

I think you're getting a little pudding under the skin yourself.

My service rates went up?

You banks are all the same,

with your hidden fees

and your service charges.

Well, maybe I'll just take my blood elsewhere. Yeah.

Well, we could transfer it to another bank for you.

Oh, no, no. No more banks.

I'm keeping my blood in my freezer

with my money!

So, uh...

what do you say?

I guess we could use some food in our lovemaking.

Okay. We got your, uh...

Got your strawberries.

Your chocolate sauce.

Your pastrami on rye with mustard.

Your honey...

Wait, wait, wait.

Pastrami on rye with mustard?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't you remember?

They used pastrami in that movie Nine 1/2 Weeks.

Remember the, uh, pastrami scene?

No.

Well, maybe it was Ghost Busters.

Whatever it was, it worked.

Come on.

Oh, God. Ah!

Didn't go for it, huh?

No.

So she didn't appreciate the erotic qualities

of the salted, cured meats?

She tolerated the strawberries

and the chocolate sauce,

but, uh...

it's not a meal, you know?

Food and sex. Those are my two passions.

It's only natural to combine them.

Natural? Sex is about love between a man and a woman,

not a man and a sandwich.

Jerry, I'm not suggesting getting rid of the girl.

She's integral.

Maybe instead of trying to satisfy two of your needs,

how about satisfying one of somebody else's?

Hey, speaking of which,

I found a great way to separate the skin

from the top of the pudding

without leaving any around the edges...

X-ACTO knife.

I told you, George, no more pudding.

I'm starting a purification program.

Mm-hm.

Keep all that kind of food away from me.

Well...

then, I guess these...

would be out of the question.

What the hell is that?

Pudding-skin singles.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, I'm borrowing all your Tupperware.

Oh?

Why?

Well, I closed my account at the blood bank.

What? It... It... It's here? It's in the building?

Right across the hall.

What, you want to go see it?

No, I don't.

In fact, if even one corpuscle of that blood

should find its way across that hall,

I will freak out on you, Kramer.

Freak...out.

You know, for a fat guy, you're not very jolly.

Hey. Working out?

You know it. And I ditched all my junk food.

What the heck is going on here?

Sorry, buddy. Cleaned house. It's all health food.

Well, I may have to take it,

but I don't have to like it.

Vivian left me a message.

I guess a certain someone changed her mind

about whether someone was responsible enough

to watch a certain other someone.

Is this about me?

No.

Well, then, I've lost interest.

Vivian. Hi, it's Elaine.

Yeah, I'm over at Jerry's. I got your message.

What?

Yeah. He's right here. Hold... Hold on.

For me, hm?

Go.

Yeah. What? Yeah. Tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll be there.

Yeah, later.

Well, somebody's babysitting.

You? I'm more responsible than you are.

Oh, don't be ridiculous. Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have to go fill my freezer with my own blood.

Oh! Huh.

(WITH FULL MOUTH) Oh, Tara!

Hello? Vivian!

Oh, boy, this is a nice screen.

Kramer.

Ye... Ah! Don't take my money.

It is me, you idiot.

Hey... What? Yeah.

Hi. All right. You gotta get out of here.

I'm gonna babysit the hell out of that kid.

Wait, I'm the babysitter.