Adventure Time

Donkin' princess!

Okay, okay.

How about I give you a big cowboy hat?

Then will you let the hostages go?

No! No!

Don't play games with me, Princess!

I want that crown! No crown, no hostages!

Well, obviously, that's going to be a problem

because I'm the princess, and I need my crown.

So...

No, Princess! You are problem —

The problem princess!

Just give me that crown!

Why does he want your crown, anyway, Princess?

Yeah. What's his beef?

I don't know, guys. He's crazy.

He's left me no choice.

I'm sending in the banana guards.

It's about to turn crazy-nasty.

Hello. Captain Banana Guard?

Wait a second, Princess.

Why don't me and Finn just sneak in there incognito

and neutralize the threat old-fashioned spy-guy style?

Hmm...

Okay, but if you guys aren't out of there by 4:00,

I'm sending in the guards.

Okay. I was thinking I could dress up like a mailman!

Yeah! Yeah! And I could wear all black!

And I could be like, you know,

like... your shadow!

Hmm... I can't really see that working.

Yeah, the shadow thing might be pushing it.

Oh, no, no, no. That part's fine.

I was talking about you dressing up like a mailman.

What?

But I always wanted to be a mailman!

Nah, you don't look like a mailman.

You look like a milk/nan.

Let's get you a proper milkman outfit.

Hmm... You ready?

Yeah! Let's bust it!

Hello!

Hello? Who the heck are you?

I'm gonna smash your face!

Uh, milkman, sir.

I brought the milk... for the hostages, sir.

Huh? Oh.

I thought maybe you were a spy guy or something.

Go ahead. Give everyone some milk,

then get the math outta here!

Yes, sir.

- Milk, sir? - Thanks.

- Milk? - Thanks.

- Milk? - Thank you.

Some milk?

Psst! Get ready, Jake.

When we get to the cookie,

you throw some milk in his face

and yell, "Alvin's Hot Juice Box.

Alvin's Hot Juice Box."

He'll be really confused.

And that's when we grab him and tie him up style.

Come in, Cookie. This is Chipper. Over.

Go ahead, Chipper. Over.

I'm too short to lock the backdoor. Over.

Hold tight, Chipper. Chipler's on his way.

- You got that, Chipler? - Affirmative.

Did you hear that?

Yeah. Change of plans.

I'll go take care of those chips.

You keep the cookie distracted.

Yeah, I can do that.

Okay, awesome.

Milk? Milk?

Milk?

Some milk?

What? Oh. Look.

You should probably split, buddy.

Things are about to get pretty flipped-out in here.

Oh. Sure. Sorry, man.

I was just trying to get away from that

rotten Princess Bubblegum for a while, you know?

Isn't she just the worst?

Wait, you hate Princess Bubblegum, too'?

Get outta here!

Oh, yeah, man! She's the worst —

sitting out there all safe and cozy

while I'm risking my life tootin' around in here

in a stupid milkman costume.

Wait, costume?

Oh. Um...

I just mean it feels like a costume.

'Cause I wanted to be a mailman so bad, you see?

But the princess made me be a milkman, anyway.

Boy, I hear you, brother.

Cookie? You there? Over.

Yeah. Go ahead, Chipolina. Over.

I just saw a light go on in the stock room.

Probably nothing. I'll check it out. Over.

Okay. Over.

Hmm...

Looks like a false alarm, Cookie.

It's just some kid's Baby Snuggleghost night-light.

Hes-yang

Alvin's Hot Juice Box! Alvin's Hot Juice...

So, what's your story, man?

How'd she doodie on you?

I was just a kid, man — just a little kid

when I got doodied on.

I was the new guy at the candy orphanage.

They called me Baby Snaps.

I tried to make friends with the other kids.

Come on, guys! Let's dance it up!

They were always too depressed to play.

No, no. We're too depressed.

Things went on like that for a while,

then one day...

She showed up.

Everything was different.

a thunderous cheer, as Baby Whoozlefut...

Everything was — was better with her around.

And something inside me changed that day, too.

And then later, she told me I could be anything I wanted.

Anything your sweet heart desires!

I told her I wanted to be a princess like her,

so I could make all the children happy.

I want to be a princess, like you!

And she laughed in my face, man!

It really messed me up.

Holy schmow, man! That's terrible!

That's really terrible.

Listen, I — -

She lied to me!

Yeah, but maybe she didn't realize

how much it meant to you.

No, she just wants to hog all the princessin' for herself!

All chips, report in!

It's time to get real! Over.

Chips? Chips? Over.

Chips? Where are my chips?

Chipolina! Chipler! Chipton! Chipper?

Is anyone there? Chipface?

Something happened to my chips!

Aaaah!

I'm about to flip out, man...

and take that crown! - Whoa, whoa. Wait.

It doesn't have to be like this!

You don't need that crown!

You can start over, man.

You can start a new kingdom — your own kingdom,

where everyone can be whatever they want to be.

I can be the mailman, and you —

you can be the princess.

- My own kingdom? - Yeah, man.

I... I'd like that.

Okay, then. Just sit tight, Princess.

I'll get us out of here.

Hey! Hey!

I'm coming out!

What?

Jake!

Jake, what's going on? Where's Finn?

Where are the hostages?

Don't worry, Princess. It's okay now.

Princess Cookie's gonna go away.

You just got to give him a horse to escape with,

and he'll go.

Right.

And then you and Finn hunt him down

and put him in the dungeon.

No, wait. He said he'd go away forever.

Can't we just let him go?

No. That cookie is a menace.

Once the hostages are safe, Cookie goes in my dungeon...

in my dungeon for his life.

Oh, boy!

Would you look at that!

Dang!

Okay, well, she's all yours.

Hot diggity!

Ah-ah-ah. Man, that horse ain't no good.

That's a trap horse! - What are we gonna do?

It's okay, man. I'm Jake.

J-J-J-Jingo-Jango!

Whoa! Ha-ha! You're magic!

Yeah!

Yee-hoo!

After them!

We're really doing it!