Seinfeld

Hey, you know what?

It says "no food or drink." You can't take that in.

Wait, I'll be right out.

Just wait a second. Come on.

I wanna go in.

I'm just runnin' in.

Come on. Come on.

You know what?

They don't have batteries here. Let's go.

Hey, Georgie's movin' out!

Get out.

I'm out.

Fantastic apartment right across from mine, huh?

I ca-- I can't wait for you to see.

Is it better than mine?

Oh, yeah.

So it's a two-bedroom, one-bath make-your-friends-hate-you.

You know what? It's better than Elaine's too.

I gotta give her a call. She's out.

Oh, right, the blind date.

Yeah, well, they like to call it a setup now.

I guess the blind people don't like being associated

with all those losers.

Aw, come on, come check out my new place.

Aw, come on, come check out my new place.

Take you two minutes. I can't.

I'm meetin' Kramer down at my Mini Storage.

You got any extra furniture down there?

I need some more stuff to fill that extra bedroom

with a walk-in closet.

Oh, this is really annoying.

It's workin' already!

What is with that?

Well, it's coughing, Jerry.

It expels the diseased germs out of the body into the air.

Where is your key?

Yeah, well, uh... Newman, he's, uh, got it.

Yeah, well, uh... Newman, he's, uh, got it.

You know, Kramer, I rented out half of my space to you.

Yeah, and I rented out half that space to Newman.

Mailbags?

He's storing mail in here?

Evidently.

Excuse me, George?

Uh, no menus.

N-- No, I'm, uh, Mrs. Ricardi,

president of the tenants' association.

Oh, right.

Right. Hey.

Right. Hey.

Hey, I love the floors in here. It's like a gymnasium.

Try and guard me. Come on.

Aaah! No, no.

Uh, George...

unfortunately, Clarence Eldridge, in 8C,

has decided that he wants the apartment.

Yeah, but you-- You promised it to me.

Yes, but you see, Mr. Eldridge is an Andrea Doria survivor.

And in light of the terrible suffering

that he's already been through,

we've decided to give it to him.

Well, uh...

Well, uh...

the Andrea Doria.

That was quite a fire.

Shipwreck.

I remember it.

Where is this guy? I hate this.

Should've brought something to read.

"Cancer in laboratory animals."

Huh.

Excuse me. Elaine Benes? Yeah?

An Alan Mercer called for you.

He said he's sorry,

but he won't be able to make it tonight.

but he won't be able to make it tonight.

He's been stabbed.

Stabbed?

More bread?

Ya ate more bread?

That is not the point.

The guy was stabbed.

Did you find out who stabbed him? Yeah.

It turns out it was his ex-girlfriend.

Well, you're not goin' near this hooligan anymore.

Well, I don't know.

Well, I don't know.

I mean, think about it, Jerry.

There must be something exciting about this guy

if he can...arouse that kind of passion.

I mean, to be stabworthy, you know? It's, uh...

It's kind of a compliment.

Yeah, too bad he didn't get shot.

He could've been the one.

Hey, how's everybody, huh?

Hey. Hey.

Ah. No expiration date on this, huh?

There is now.

Kramer, you should get that cough checked out by a doctor.

No, no, no. No doctors for me.

Bunch of lackeys and yes men all toein' the company line.

Plus they botched my vasectomy.

They botched it?

I'm even more potent now.

Aw.

Hey.

Hey, how's the new place?

Gone.

The, uh, tenant association made me give it to this guy

The, uh, tenant association made me give it to this guy

'cause he was an Andrea Doria survivor.

Andrea Doria?

Isn't that the one they did the song about?

Edmund Fitzgerald.

I love Edmund Fitzgerald's voice.

No, Gordon Lightfoot was the singer.

Edmund Fitzgerald was the ship.

You could fit 15 people in that bathroom.

I think Gordon Lightfoot was the boat.

Yeah, and it was rammed by the Cat Stevens.

The Andrea Doria collided

with the Stockholm in dense fog

12 miles off the coast of Nantucket.

12 miles off the coast of Nantucket.

How do you know?

It's in my book:

Astonishing Tales of the Sea.

Fifty-one people died.

Fifty-one people?

Mm-hm.

That's it?

I thought it was like a thousand.

There were 1660 survivors.

That's no tragedy!

How--? How many people you lose on a normal cruise?

Thirty, forty?

Kramer, can I take a look at that book?

Oh, yeah. I also got Astounding Bear Attacks.

Oh, yeah. I also got Astounding Bear Attacks.

Hey, before you go, did you talk to Newman

about getting that mail out?

Oh, yeah. No, he's not gonna do it.

Newman?

I guess.

Listen, I want you to get the mail out

of my storage unit.

Sometimes we don't get what we want.

What're you talkin' about?

I didn't get my transfer.

Transfer?

To Hawaii.

The most sought-after postal route of them all.

The most sought-after postal route of them all.

The air is so dewy sweet,

you don't even have to lick the stamps.

But it's not to be.

So I'm hangin' it up.

You quit the post office?

Kind of.

I'm still collecting checks,

I'm just...not delivering mail.

Well, get it out of my storage. It's illegal.

And yet it's perfectly legal to take a man's soul

and crush it out like a stale Pall Mall.

Well, the law's the law.

Oh.

Hold on there. It's--

It's a nasty cough you got there, huh?

What cough?

I love shrimp. I'm a shrimp-eater.

You put shrimp in front of me,

and I'll eat it till my stomach pops.

Oh.

No, it's okay. I'm...

still just a little bit jumpy. Oh.

Between you and me,

what happened there, with the stabbing?

what happened there, with the stabbing?

Just...one of those things, you know.

What, was she just so crazy in love with you

she just couldn't take it anymore, or...?

I don't know. Could be.

Alan?

Carol?