Why Didn't They Ask Evans?

Alfred!

What do you say, Bobby Jones?

A shot through the bunkers, Sir.

Get a good angle to the cliff.

Hmm. Excalibur, I think.

- Are you sure, Sir? - Not remotely.

Unforgiving you called it.

- Not at all, Sir. Man's club. - Hmm.

Don't say a word, Bobby Jones. Not a single word.

- Sir. - You see,

it's the "Sir" that's throwing me.

Corporal's as far as I got, two stripes, one leg.

- Whereas you... - Lieutenant.

Hmm... Navy of course, that doesn't really count.

- Do you miss it? - Sometimes.

Right, you are. So, you're cruising the Pacific,

you see a brochure for Marchbolt Golf Club

and the spread of adventure rises within you.

Marchbolt is not the long term plan.

I should bloody well hope not.

Right. What do you suggest now, Sir?

The 3-iron, Dr Thomas.

Show an old man how it's done.

- Uh... - That's an order, Lieutenant.

Do you hear that?

Thought I heard something.

- Careful, Bobby. - Telescope.

Oh, God.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Is he all right?

He's alive.

I can't...

I'll have to go and get help.

Try and keep him warm.

And say a prayer.

They're coming. Help is coming.

Why didn't they ask Evans?

Everything all right?

Uh, no. There's been an accident.

I've sent for help. Can you see anyone?

Oh, you...

Oh, bloody hell.

Oh, my God. What happened here?

I don't know. He must have fallen.

- He's... - Dead, looks like.

Dr Thomas has gone for help.

- Did you see him? - No, no. Not a soul.

This place is like a graveyard.

I'm sorry. It's a... bad choice of words.

Poor beggar. Is he a friend of yours?

No. I've never seen him before.

Never seen me before either, have you? How rude.

Roger Bassington-ffrench, two small f's.

Just don't ask me what they stand for.

Bobby Jones.

Listen, I hate to ask you this.

Dr Thomas has gone for help. I am supposed to be...

You need to get off, do you?

Do you mind? I mean, there's nothing more to be done.

But even so, I don't want to leave him alone.

No, no. Absolutely. Doesn't seem right.

I'll stand guard. Dr Thomas, was it?

Yes. You can't miss him. He has a wooden leg.

Well, I didn't see anyone, of course. That's why I came,

looking for a new house, bit of peace and quiet.

Not, uh... not this much, though.

Right. Well...

I really must be off. Thanks for doing this.

No, don't mention it. You are dismissed, Bobby Jones.

"Happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee"

"as thou hast served us."

Don't crush the ends

and when you lick it, you got to imagine

you were kissing a beautiful...

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Bloody hell. You could have done some damage there.

Not really. These things are pretty solid.

- Why aren't you two in church? - Why aren't you?

Good point. Excuse me.

At 3pm on Sunday, the 19th.

Mrs Morgan has very kindly agreed to host once more.

And I'm sure she would appreciate, as we all do

punctuality.

Hymn 84.

- Lovely to see you. - Thank you.

- Pa, I'm sorry. I got... Excuse me.

Bobby, you don't have to do it.

No, I know. I know. I want to do it.

Yeah, well you agree to it, that's the thing.

- I didn't force you, did I? - No.

I can easily ask Janice.

- Janice... - Can't play the organ, I know,

but at least she can be here.

Father.

Who is that?

That is Lady Frances Derwent.

- Frankie. - Mm-hmm.

She's grown up.

Yes, Bobby. She has.

Your friend, Mr Beadon telephoned.

Knocker?

What did he say?

Apparently, he has the lease and you're going to be busy.

Yes, Pa. I've been meaning to talk to you about this.

A £120 for a garage, Bobby.

It's not a garage. It's a sales room.

Oh, for crying out...

Knocker's put in a lot more than I have.

He's got three cars already

and I promised him that I would go halves.

Oh, have you indeed? Well, I have not.

Oh, thank you, Mrs Roberts. That was delicious.

- Finished? - Was it local?

- Local soup? - The fish.

From Bennett's in the high street.

And I've made some extra for the weekend.

Oh.

- Carnival. - Oh, yes. Of course.

Thank you.

A man died on the golf course this afternoon.

Died?

Fell off a cliff.

Broke his back.

I was caddying for Dr Thomas. We found him on the 17th.

I sat with him.

Then he died.

From the village?

I don't think so. Just a chap.

Oh. You sat with him, dear me.

Did you say a prayer?

Yes.

Well, if he's not from the village,

I doubt they want him buried here.

Still. Oh, by the way, Graham Morris died.

That's not a bad thing, is it?

Not really.

They're gone, finally.

Made a right bloody mess in the galley.

Also, they got to call you at the inquest.

Oh, blimey.

Lady Frances, a pleasure.

Good afternoon, man behind the counter.

Albert. Alb.

Care to sell me a round of golf, Alb?

Alas, Lady Frances, the course is closed.

We had an incident here yesterday.

And the council... Well, you know what councils are like.

I emphatically do not, Albert.

What sort of incident?

- A very unfortunate one. Oh, yes.

Making me beastly.

Perhaps I ought to play a round of golf

just to take my mind off it.

And of course, this, for the caddy.

Oh...

Hello, Frankie.

I beg your pardon.

I got you, Bobby Jones. I got you good and proper.

The last time I saw you,

you were on a pony and I think you were 12.

As if I was ever 12. Madness.

What about you?

You played rugby for the under 18s

when you were 15?

Too dreaming.

And they said, you ran away to sea.

- Sort of. - But you've run back.

Sort of.

Oh, great story, Steve. Dragged a bit in the middle.

- Who's Steve? - Always called you Steve.

I don't remember you calling me anything.

Not out loud.

And what about you?

What brings you back to Marchbolt?

Nothing. London sent me back.

You've heard of London. No one to baffle you.

Well it's full of people and yet there's nobody there.

Explain that to me, oh, ancient mariner.

What are you doing?

Well, the first hole is a longish par-4, so,

I thought you might want to loosen up with a lofted wood.

- You're speaking Welsh now. - I thought you wanted to play.

Golf?

Well, that is why I'm carrying your bag, isn't it?

Picnic.

- This is it? - It is.

Now, the police have been here all day.

We probably shouldn't... Oh. Here we go.

Silent upon a peak in Marchbolt.

Do you have any balls?

One, dromedary. Two, dromedaries.

Three, dromedaries.

Three and a half dromedaries of knowing your life is ending.

A matter of fact, it didn't end then.

He was alive when I found him.

- Only just but... - You were with him?

Oh, Bobby. What did you do? Did you say anything?

- Nothing to say. - Did he?

I don't think he knew where he was.

Probably just as well.