Beavis and Butt-head (Beavis and Butt-Head)

LIAR! LIAR!

Fifty, sixty, sixty-five...

- Twelve. - Shut up!

- Seventy-five... - Twenty-five cents.

- Sixty-nine. - Number two.

Eighty-three... eighty-four... Shut up!

- Eighty-five... Eighty-six... - Zero.

O! One! One! One!

It's still short, fellas.

- Better count it again, sir. - Yeah, you didn't get all the pennies.

No way, guys, we're still missing money.

I didn't do it! I didn't do it!

It was, like, some foreigner.

Yeah.

- This chick doesn't sing very good. - Yeah.

She should, like, just talk or something.

Okay, that's better.

Is she, like, telling a joke?

Oh yeah, yeah, I think it is.

Why don't you shut up, so we can hear it!

Beavis...

…but the guy, he's dogging my every move.

That'd piss me off too.

Hey Miss, he says, don't miss this!

Now that's a good joke.

It's like, it's like, she is... talking about all this stuff

and then that guy grabs his wiener!

I'm gonna have to tell that one to my Uncle Mike.

Yeah, he'd get it.

Whoa! That chick is all over him! Check it out.

Yeah... it's like, he was just minding his own business, trying to grab his wiener…

I heard that, yeah.

And then she just came up and got in his face.

It's like, you know, he was just trying to grab his wiener, you know...

She came and just jumped on him!

That never happens to me.

I grab my wiener all the time.

Besides... I think I'm gonna grab my wiener right now.

Dammit Beavis.

- Do that outside. - Oh yeah.

BIG EYE SYSTEM'S POLYGRAPH TESTING

I didn't do it.

It was a foreigner.

- What are you doing, Beavis? - I'm practicing.

Hey Butt-Head, what are they gonna do to us?

I think they're gonna, like, make us take one of those poly-grip tests?

Oh, yeah, that stuff's cool. I found some of that stuff

at Anderson's house... and it's like...

I put it on my teeth and I was walking around going...

No, dumbass.

Not that stuff. It's like, this lie detector test.

- I didn't do it! - Shut up, Beavis!

Check this out. There's, like, this trick to taking these lie detector tests.

Really? Cool.

It's like, all you have to do is hold your breath.

Not now, assmunch!

I knew that, I was just, like, practicing.

Beavis, you suck as a liar.

Liar! Liar! Liar, pants on!

- Head? Butt-Head? - Yeah?

Mr. O'Brien will see you now.

I didn't do it!

All right, now, I'm gonna ask you some questions,

failure to be truthful in your responses

will be interpreted as an acknowledgement of guilt, do you understand?

Yeah.

I mean, no.

Just tell the truth and you have nothing to worry about. Let's begin.

Okay, now. Please tell me your name.

Butt-Head.

Okay, good. Now Butt-Head, could you tell me how many fingers I'm holding up?

Four?

Well, it's three, actually, but since you think it's four, you didn't really lie.

So that's good. Now Butt-Head, tell me, in all of your life

have you ever stolen anything?

I didn't do it, bunghole!

I'lll repeat the question, Butt-Head. Have you ever stolen anything?

Butt-Head did it!